My mate Gav sadly passed away this morning. Doctors say it was severe heart burn.

Cannot believe Gaviscon

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/schwifty98
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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My mate Gavin passed away from heart burn last week.

Still canโ€™t believe Gaviscon

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lumgi01
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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My wife always says the way to a manโ€™s heart is through his stomachโ€ฆ

Lovely woman.

Useless surgeon.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
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Queen Elizabeth visited an Edinburgh hospital recently...

She enters a ward full of patients, and notices that theyโ€™re all dressed in street clothes and have no obvious sign of injury or illness. The Queen approaches a patient and greets him. The patient replies:

โ€œMy heartโ€™s in the Highlands, my heart is not here, My heartโ€™s in the Highlands, a-chasing the deer.โ€

The Queen is confused, but smiles and moves on to greet the next patient. The patient responds:

โ€œSome hae meat anโ€™ canna eat, And some wad eat thaโ€™ want it, But we hae meat anโ€™ we can eat, so let the Lord be thankit.โ€

Even more confused, and smiling even more broadly, the Queen moves on to the next patient who immediately begins to chant:

โ€œMy love is like a red, red rose thatโ€™s newly sprung in June; My love is like the melody thatโ€™s sweetly played in tune.โ€

Now very confused, the Queen turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, โ€œIs this a psychiatric ward?โ€

โ€œNo, Your Majesty,โ€ replies the doctor. โ€œThis is the serious Burns unit.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fatboyfat1981
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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Two molecules having dinner

One has heart burn and asks the other "can you pass me atoms?"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MonNomEstAli
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
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