26 Hilarious Bottles Water Puns

A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states

Solid, liquid and gas

👍︎ 40

💬︎

👤︎ u/emu404

📅︎ Aug 14 2020

🚨︎ report

I saw a guy drink a bottle of brandy, then fill it to the top with water and screw the lid back on.

He approached a wild ox. The ox looked at him.

The guy said, "Hello, there, wild ox. Would you like to buy this bottle of brandy from me? £50, that is all."

The wild ox mulled it over, before pulling out the money and handing it over to the man.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have jumped up and yelled, "It's a con, yak!"

👍︎ 30

💬︎

👤︎ u/TommehBoi

📅︎ Jul 25 2020

🚨︎ report

My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator

It's not cool man

👍︎ 21

💬︎

👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut

📅︎ Jun 24 2020

🚨︎ report

I let my water bottle hear the national anthem of america

Now it's a barrel of oil

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/Arandomredittuser

📅︎ Jun 13 2020

🚨︎ report

What is a water bottle's favorite game to play?

Follow the litre.

👍︎ 8

💬︎

👤︎ u/kickypie

📅︎ May 30 2020

🚨︎ report

My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.

I Schwepped her off her feet.

👍︎ 9k

💬︎

👤︎ u/uglyric

📅︎ Aug 27 2019

🚨︎ report

What did Dad say to the bottle of water?

Hydrogen oxide, I'm Dad

👍︎ 20

💬︎

👤︎ u/banks987

📅︎ Apr 07 2020

🚨︎ report

To the water in my spray bottle:

You will be mist.

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/TheSentientMeatbag

📅︎ Jan 22 2020

🚨︎ report

Water bottle company spells H2O

👍︎ 28

💬︎

👤︎ u/Feynman_weds_Dirac

📅︎ Jun 09 2019

🚨︎ report

How many bottles of water do you drink everyday?

Because you are considered an aquaholic

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/SlipperyRoads

📅︎ Sep 21 2019

🚨︎ report

I handed my 4 year old a bottle of cold water and said, "Hold this."

She responded, "Don't you mean cold this?"

My kid just dad joked me and I've never been prouder of her.

👍︎ 69

💬︎

👤︎ u/hate_tank

📅︎ Dec 22 2018

🚨︎ report

My wife was wanting to throw a shirt into the dryer to get the wrinkles out but she wanted to spray it with water first. She couldn’t find a spray bottle close by so she instead grabbed the iron to spray it... talk about the ultimate irony.

👍︎ 9

💬︎

👤︎ u/Vonberns

📅︎ Apr 07 2019

🚨︎ report

Water bottle wisdom imgur.com/7qMxKbA

👍︎ 261

💬︎

👤︎ u/summerrane

📅︎ Jun 30 2017

🚨︎ report

What do you get when you poke at a bottle of water?

Tap water

r/jokes thought that this joke belongs here

👍︎ 70

💬︎

👤︎ u/agg304

📅︎ Aug 04 2018

🚨︎ report

Carrying a water bottle helps you in the long run.

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/coder97

📅︎ Mar 09 2019

🚨︎ report

I drank 2 bottles of water at dinner last night.

My dad told me to get help because I was an aquaholic.

👍︎ 24

💬︎

👤︎ u/WhitePeopleGifs

📅︎ May 13 2018

🚨︎ report

"Dad, how many bottles of water are in the ocean?" my son asked.

"That depends how clumsy sailors are," I replied.

👍︎ 4

💬︎

👤︎ u/TommehBoi

📅︎ Oct 24 2018

🚨︎ report

Why did the Clydesdale give a bottle of water to the pony?

Because it was a little horse!

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/SamFN

📅︎ Oct 28 2018

🚨︎ report

I'm furious that all these replacement parts I bought for my water bottle only damaged it more.

This was the last straw that broke the CamelBak.

👍︎ 9

💬︎

👤︎ u/I_will_regreddit

📅︎ Nov 05 2017

🚨︎ report

This bottle of water was sold by an English company but it is ...

👍︎ 108

💬︎

👤︎ u/ask-a-physicist

📅︎ Apr 21 2015

🚨︎ report

"I have a bottle of eyes water. "Ice water?" "No."

http://imgur.com/4gufghR

👍︎ 11

💬︎

👤︎ u/rigamarolexq

📅︎ Aug 03 2016

🚨︎ report

A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water

Schwepped her off her feet.

👍︎ 17

💬︎

👤︎ u/dulcetsavanna

📅︎ Aug 03 2019

🚨︎ report

A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water

Schwepped her off her feet

👍︎ 23

💬︎

👤︎ u/maxbergmusic

📅︎ Jul 31 2019

🚨︎ report

A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water

Schwepped her off her feet

👍︎ 28

💬︎

👤︎ u/rotimi_babalola

📅︎ Aug 02 2019

🚨︎ report

My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.

I Schwepped her of her feet.

👍︎ 7

💬︎

👤︎ u/GhostPotency

📅︎ Aug 18 2019

🚨︎ report

I gave my date a bottle of tonic water

Schwepped her off her feet

👍︎ 48

💬︎

👤︎ u/Clbull

📅︎ Jan 04 2019

🚨︎ report