I asked the librarian where the books on engine lubricants were.
She said they were in the non-friction section.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Aug 11 2022
A woman walks up to a librarian and asks, "Do you have any books on Pavlov's dogs and SchrΓΆdinger's cat?"
βIt rings a bell but I donβt know whether itβs here or not.β
π︎ 199
π
︎ Aug 30 2022
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone in the library and I couldnβt figure out what was going on-
π︎ 742
π
︎ Apr 24 2022
A whole lot of books just fell on my head.
I have only my shelf to blame.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 12 2022
I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "they're right behind you!"
π︎ 81
π
︎ Feb 22 2022
I asked the librarian if they had any books on Pavlov.
She said sheβd have to check to be sure, but that the name rang a bell.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 02 2022
A man goes to a library and asks for books on paranoia
The librarian whispers "They're right behind you."
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jun 01 2021
Load of books just fell on me
I've only got my shelf to blame
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 20 2021
I had a bunch of books fall on me
I only have my shelf to blame.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Apr 14 2020
I put one too many books on my bookshelf, didn't look first to see if it could hold them and they all came crashing down.
Turns out you should check your shelf before you wreck your shelf
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 15 2021
I asked a librarian if they had any books on 'Different noise levels'.
The librarian said "Sure!! What volume would you like?"
π︎ 684
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
A bunch of books fell on me yesterday, but I couldnβt find anyone at fault in the accident.
I only have my shelf to blame.
π︎ 130
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
After a bad diy project, a load of books fell on my head.
I have only my shelf to blame.
π︎ 43
π
︎ May 11 2021
The other day a bunch of books fell down on my head.
I guess I only have my shelve to blame!
π︎ 38
π
︎ Apr 18 2021
I asked the librarian if they had any books on constipation.
She said, "It comes out in a week or two."
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 11 2021
Why should you not rely on math books for help?
They already have a lot of problems.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Jun 26 2021
I asked the librarian where I needed to look for books on difficult births
She said I had to go to the 'C' section
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 28 2021
A man walks into the library and asks, "Do you have any books on poor eyesight."
"NO, We don't!!!" replies the barman.
π︎ 102
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
I asked the librarian if they had any books on orthography.
She said, "Spelling?"
I said, "O...R...T...H...O..."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 01 2021
I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic...
"Oh yes, quite a few." the librarian said.
"Sorry to hear that!" I said laughing. "They'll all be ruined by now!"
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Nov 16 2017
A man died today when a pile of books fell on him
He only had his shelf to blame
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
I asked the library women of there are any books on the Titanic
She said they might have been damaged, wet and moldy.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Customer: Do you have any books on turtles?
Store owner: Hard cover?
Customer: Yes, with little heads
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
What kind of books grow on trees?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
My son spends all of his money on comic books
I keep telling him he has issues
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
On the subject of books, I also read one about the ocean.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Dec 30 2019
Top news story today: A man dies when a pile of books lands on him.
Police say, he had only his shelf to blame.
π︎ 155
π
︎ Jan 19 2018
Me at the bookstore: Do you have any books on turtles?
Cashier: Hard back?
Me: yea, with little heads.
π︎ 93
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
I'm selling books on how to avoid saying the wrong thing and getting into fights.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
A guy goes into a library and asks about books on premature ejaculation. The librarian tells him the book is checked out til next week.
The guy comes in the next day looking for the books again but quickly apologizes. Sorry I came early.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 05 2020
Dad walking into bookstore. "Do you have any books on Turtles?"
Worker: "Hardback?"
Dad: "Yeah, with little heads."
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
Do you know the worst part about books on rock climbing?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Oct 14 2019
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 10 2019
π︎ 147
π
︎ Sep 23 2014
My son was looking for books on dinosaurs..
So I asked the librarian to suggest a good author.
"Try Sarah Topps" she said.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Sep 27 2018
I walked into a bookstore the other day and asked the clerk if they had any books on turtles.
Worker: "Hard back?"
Me: "Yeah, with little heads."
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 14 2019
A whole lot of books just fell on my head.
I have only my shelf to blame.
π︎ 640
π
︎ Oct 15 2021
I asked the librarian if they had any books on Pavlov.
She said sheβd have to check to be sure, but that the name rang a bell.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 02 2022
Library patron: Do you sell any books on paranoia?
Librarian: Theyβre right behind you!
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 22 2021
So I asked the librarian where were the books on paranoia?
"Right behind you." She whispered.
π︎ 129
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
I asked the librarian where the books on paranoia are kept.
She whispered "They're right behind you".
π︎ 35
π
︎ May 06 2021
I asked the librarian where the books on engine lubrication were located.
She said they were in the non-friction section.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
I asked the librarian if books on paranoia were available.
She look up and whispered, βTheyβre right behind you.β
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
I asked the librarian if they had any books on Noise Reduction Levels
She said "Sure, what volume ?"
π︎ 24
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Do you have any books on turtles?
"Hard back?"
Yes, and with little heads.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Nov 09 2019
Iβm selling books on how to avoid getting into fights by saying the wrong thing.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Mar 11 2019
A man went into a library and asked, "Do you have any books on shelving?"
The librarian said, "Yes, all of them!"
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 04 2019
Ξ man fell into a coma today when a pile of books landed on his head.
The authorities report that the man had only his shelf to blame.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 11 2019
Do you have any books on turtles?
Hardback?
Yes, with little legs.
π︎ 34
π
︎ Nov 30 2018
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