What's blue and sits on a toilet?

A police man doing his duty (doodie).

Joke courtesy of my Pepere (RIP)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I don’t understand why Blue Γ–yster Cult never appeared on Sesame Street.

They could have sung β€œI’m burning, I’m burning, I’m burning for β€˜U’!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandpa walked in with a blue arrow on his forehead and smiled...

me: "what are you supposed to be?"

grandpa: "Im a boomerang"

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to the man who stepped on a blue jay

He was arrested for jaywalking

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TripleH501
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought these textured gloves earlier but got a tiny bit of blue paint on them

Guess you could say I’m feeling a little blue

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gavanthino
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: β€œI like to have my shoes match my pants. For instance, my brown shoes go well with my blue pants and my black shoes go well with my gray pants. My stripper heels on the other hand...”

β€œ...don’t go with anything.”

My dad never makes β€œdad jokes” but, he actually said this yesterday and I’m so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blueholeload
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Found a baby blue jay on the ground. Not sure what to do with it.
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CriticalGeode
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A blue man gives you a pineapple. A man with a horse for a head gives you a blender. A man with seven feet on each leg gives you a dragonfruit. What do you have?

Schizophrenia

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A red ship and a blue ship crash on a deserted island

They were marooned

πŸ‘︎ 280
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Samwise3s
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
🚨︎ report
This has blue on it... I think we should Redd-it
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dinomine3000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Got into a country based pun battle on Facebook. That's me in blue. imgur.com/a/QbXWa
πŸ‘︎ 231
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCocktopuss
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
🚨︎ report
On the turnpike during rush hour, a truck carrying blue paint collided with a truck carrying red paint.

It was terrible! Everybody was marooned!

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bluefoot55
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2015
🚨︎ report
We should genetically engineer a long fruit with blue stars and red/white stripes on it.

It should be called "The Star-Spangled Bananer!"

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chezni19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2016
🚨︎ report
Talking with my dad about buying a used copy of Pokemon Blue on Craigslist.

He said, "You know I won a Pokemon tournament once."

Me : "Oh really Dad?"

Dad : "No, I'm just pokin' with you mon."

Sigh...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/greenriver572
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2014
🚨︎ report
After I got some blue dye on my hand, my dad responded:

"I've never had my hand blue, but I've had my palm read"

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Demonix_Fox
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.