What's blue and sits on a toilet?
A police man doing his duty (doodie).
Joke courtesy of my Pepere (RIP)
I don’t understand why Blue Öyster Cult never appeared on Sesame Street.
They could have sung “I’m burning, I’m burning, I’m burning for ‘U’!”
My grandpa walked in with a blue arrow on his forehead and smiled...
me: "what are you supposed to be?"
grandpa: "Im a boomerang"
What happened to the man who stepped on a blue jay
He was arrested for jaywalking
I bought these textured gloves earlier but got a tiny bit of blue paint on them
Guess you could say I’m feeling a little blue
Dad: “I like to have my shoes match my pants. For instance, my brown shoes go well with my blue pants and my black shoes go well with my gray pants. My stripper heels on the other hand...”
“...don’t go with anything.”
My dad never makes “dad jokes” but, he actually said this yesterday and I’m so proud.
Found a baby blue jay on the ground. Not sure what to do with it.
A blue man gives you a pineapple. A man with a horse for a head gives you a blender. A man with seven feet on each leg gives you a dragonfruit. What do you have?
Schizophrenia
A red ship and a blue ship crash on a deserted island
They were marooned
This has blue on it... I think we should Redd-it
Got into a country based pun battle on Facebook. That's me in blue. imgur.com/a/QbXWa
On the turnpike during rush hour, a truck carrying blue paint collided with a truck carrying red paint.
It was terrible! Everybody was marooned!
We should genetically engineer a long fruit with blue stars and red/white stripes on it.
It should be called "The Star-Spangled Bananer!"
Talking with my dad about buying a used copy of Pokemon Blue on Craigslist.
He said, "You know I won a Pokemon tournament once."
Me : "Oh really Dad?"
Dad : "No, I'm just pokin' with you mon."
Sigh...
After I got some blue dye on my hand, my dad responded:
"I've never had my hand blue, but I've had my palm read"
