A list of puns related to "Biblical Coffee"
Hebrews
Funny how this isnt getting much attention, if it was the other way around you can be sure right wing shits would be going insane
People really didn't liked your comment well that was expected of the right wing supporters.
You don't think it has anything to do with the fact that his claim is a complete lie?
This story has been, and continues to be, huge.
There's absolutely nothing in this story to indicate this crime was motivated by his Christianity. If you search other publisher you won't find any other headlines with this click bait title or the word 'Christian'. The dude jus hated Muslims.
Christianity is a religion of hate nevertheless.
As if Islam isn't up to it's neck in hate?
Weβre talking about Christianity.
There's just no evidence in this story that the suspect was motivated by his religion. It's only in the title.
>Heβs Christian and has a great relationship with God ... He was always pretty calm towards other people,β added the unnamed friend.
Itβs in the article you didnβt read.
His friend/family said that about him. That is not evidence of motivation. Muslims scream Allah Akbar and make claims of their motivation. They make it clear why they're doing it. This just looks like hatred toward Muslims.
I read the article.
My mother would say the same about me. She has no idea I'm an atheist. That's not evidence.
https://www.jw.borg/en/bible-teachings/questions/smoking-sin/
You know the drill, take out the b on the link.
This article was clearly poorly researched, but I'll be mostly concentrating on the weed aspect cause there could be loose arguments made about smoking tobacco both in favor and against, from their doctrinal standpoint. However, the weed part of the article has many things that I found to be either poorly researched or looked up a random source that reinforced their bias. For example, we start with the article saying (in the weed subheading): "The Bible does not mention marijuana (also known as weed or pot) or similar drugs by name." <-- you have to define what 'similar drugs' are don't you? Because it's describing alcohol and coffee (which I'll get to in a minute). It goes on to say: "But it contains principles that rule out the recreational use of such addictive substances." <-- Which if it was well researched, weed is not addictive is it? In RARE cases some people could develop a dependency on weed, but it's very rare especially compared to alcohol and coffee, which is not only highly addictive, they're also arguably detrimental to health (in the case of coffee, I know plenty of people who get anxiety or panic attacks from the caffeine kick, as well as one person who can't due to a heart condition).
"A person cannot fully control his mind when abusing drugs, and many people even become addicted to them. Their minds focus on obtaining and using drugs rather than on upbuilding thoughts.β" <-- what drugs? Are we talking about opioids here or just weed? Because it's first of all not addictive, and second of all I am 100% in control of my thoughts and actions while on weed, and I know all you other stoners out there can testify the same. In fact, I'm in much more control over my thoughts while on weed because my depression, anxiety, OCD, and ADD lead my thoughts to a dark place and they're calmed down and drowned out when I'm high. Which means I can work, and I can most certainly give talks (I am high as a kite whenever I have to give a talk). And also my mind is focused on getting weed as much as I focus on food and beverages. "oh I'm running out time to hit the dispensary on my way to the grocery store", is the usual scenario. What planet are these writers from?
The bias is blatant and they cite zero sources for either smoking or smoking weed. Like I said, smoking cigarettes can have a valid argument against it, but who's died or
... keep reading on reddit β‘If you perhaps have followed me before, you may recognize my JNFIL posts. My father is a near-extreme JN(Narc)Dad aka Narcissus. To clarify, Grinch (check post history) is his mommy. We're living in a patriarchal country in Balkans, with her. Me being a rebel against the sexist, misogynistic, abusive behaviors and turning towards equality/equity/pushing for feminism & being open-minded nearly fully is going to be pending cause of death of my father and his beloved mother.
Content warning - while I will not describe any abuse, I will use the word "abuse" itself below. Just figured out to say it in advance.
I (21F) just came home, went downstairs where Grinch (80-somethingF) lives and I had to ask her something about her doc since I'll have to use that doc's services. Another older neighbour (50sF) sat downstairs with her, she's one of the entire kin over 50 knowing everybody's business without leaving the house. That in Balkans is like a local bookclub for Americans. A hobby, a lifestyle. Synonym for air and water too.
We start talking. I mention I was incredibly lucky to have a connection in the rehab center where I'm heading for testings for my hand. That connection was my neighbor (F). Well, former one. Her sons and I were a couple years apart, grew up together and were always playing outside in somebody's yard or house. Our parents basically accepted the other kid as their own. And as much they treated us like this, we knew about all parents more than we should. And by that, I mean we heard and witnessed screaming matches, arguing, mainly displays of verbal and emotional abuse (assassination of character, to be precise).
My Grinch goes into a lengthy ass tirade. How the now-ex-neighbour left her husband for a new lover. Imagine. A grown ass woman decided to leave her abusive husband and not allow her kids to witness such a toxic and volatile relationship anymore, thinking that's a normal way to treat their partners one day. And Grinch says the sole reason of a woman leaving is her cheating. The neighbour never cheated and still doesn't have anyone else. Not that it matters, but she's recovering from what she been through and is looking after herself and the kids now. Grinch, again, going against my reply what has really happened (i mean i witnessed that as a kid), goes off to say another local drunk with no life of his own (except any hard liquor, beer is the new air) told her that's how it went down.
So in a split of second I fe
... keep reading on reddit β‘Phil
Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.
If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.
Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???
Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.
Thank you,
A Dad.
Sudden Lee
My own theory of what happens in Season 1 of Peppa Pig is contained at the bottom of this post :) Honestly think I hit the nail on the head. Seasons 2-7 coming at the end of this month.
Sorry for the delay by the way from my last post, I recently had to get a full-time job at Startbucks so this has been 100% in my free time. Hope you enjoy :)
Muddy puddles:
Peppa and George jump into puddles but must wear their boots.
Peppa stops George from jumping into the really big puddle to make sure it is safe first.He accidentally splashes George in the process. Sacrificing anotherβs happiness for his own self-satisfaction.
He then gaslights his own wrong doing by telling his brother that it is βOnly Mudβ.
They walk back into the house (Now Muddy) and they tell their dad that they have been playing in muddy puddles. Their dad insists that they wash up so that when mummy gets back: βWe can all play in muddy puddlesβ.
They make note of saying how everyone made sure to always wear their rain boots when going down to jump in muddy puddles. They then all start jumping together until daddy pig falls down. Peppa, mom, and George all start laughing about how βDaddy fell downβ, and they then proceed to do the same.
Stand-outs:
This all comes off very brainwashed. With the script giving clear directions of right v.s. Wrong to not just the pigs, but the audience too.
Peppa not feeling remorseful when getting George dirty.
Specifically mentioning that the mud is βOnly Mudβ
Gardening
Grandpa is planting seeds. Is a gardener.
Grandpa eats the apple that hit him on the head.
Explains that the seeds in one apple make many more seeds.
He hands a seed to Peppa, they plant it. Grandpa offers to water it for Peppa, but she insists on doing it.
Peppa is impatient and complains about the seed not growing yet.
The family drives away. Grandpa keeps watering the strawberry plant seed.
Peppa/George return the day that the strawberries have sprouted. Letting Grandpa do all the hard work. George is still playing with a green dinosaur.
George rejects Peppaβs attempted manipulation into growing a carrot. He instead plants his dinosaur and gleefully exclaims that he wants to plant a dinosaur tree! Except when he does his entire family rolls around on the ground laughing at him. Right in front of his face.
Stand-outs:
This is two episodes in a row that George gets negatively effected and dismissed by his family.
Not Very Well
Brown bear doctor. Only othe
... keep reading on reddit β‘Well, toucan play at that game.
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
She said apple-lutely
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.
I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.
When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."
From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"
Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.
Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
Japan.
A priest visits a prison to offer a death-row prisoner his last rites. Pork hits the fan.
Feedback desired (Edited):
Changes I'll make:
Story: Pork-Eating Vegetarians
Trigger warning: While I skip over the details, the story discusses some pretty gruesome/heavy-hitting themes. >!Cannibalism, self-mutilation and rape!<
Reviews: (my story is long, so I overshot the word count by a bit)
This post will analyze the Persistence, Progress, and Persecution of the Ahmadiyya Movement and debunks the arguments relating to it. I think this argument is a very convincing one to the average Ahmadi-Muslim, the fact they are 'progressing' strengthens the faith of many within the movement. They see this as a sign of God.
Let us see if this is really a miracle/sign of god or not.
See Nuzhat Haneef's book starting from page 367 she answers:
β’ If the Ahmadiyya Movement is false, why does it still exist? Why donβt its members recognize its falsehood and leave? How could so many people be befooled for so long?
β’ Not only does the Ahmadiyya Movement still exist, it has been making progress. If it is false, why is it making progress?
β’ The Ahmadiyya Movement is persecuted by other Muslims. Is that not a sign of its truth since only the true are persecuted?
If the Ahmadiyya Movement is false, why does it still exist? Why donβt its members recognize its falsehood and leave?
Factors Working Against Leaving:
There are several factors that work against an Ahmadee recognizing the Movementβs falsehood and deciding to leave . Here I am focusing on discussing the case of people born or raised in an Ahmadee family. However, much of the discussion applies to recent converts.
second hand stores!
it's Hans free now..
Remember that time you got a haircut at a walk-in salon, and despite an agreement that hair would remain long, you walk out looking like mom put a bowl on your head and got to cutting? Imagine that, but with a body part that doesnβt grow back. Jennifer Grey with her nose lopped off, thanks to a surgeon going Dr. Frankenstein and opting to remake her instead of following instructions, and when the anesthesia wears off, she doesnβt recognize herself. This is what happened to Angela.
Angela is being ordered to open her orbs so Dr. Obeng can start telling her that everything is fine. All this unplanned oxygen has her lungs angry and wondering where her chest anchors went, and Dr. Obeng is eager to get her out of there before sheβs awake enough to notice he fucked up. For now heβs safe, because Angela has astral projected into the roped-off smoking playpen arranged ten feet from the entrance, and sheβs gonna remain there for the rest of this episode.
A nurse inquires about whether sheβs in any pain, and the βpain scaleβ question makes more sense, because her stomach and tits have been transformed into coin purses, so yes, sheβs in fucking pain. No one seems concerned that Angelaβs escape from anesthesia is so prolonged. Meanwhile, Dr. Obeng psyches himself up in the bathroom mirror and promises himself he doesnβt look terrified, before heading out to lie to JoJo.
βSheβll still be a double d,β the doctor Obengs, thinking he should probably see if he can get his deposit back for that in-ground pool. βWhy are you quacking at me?β
βNow now, size depends on who is fitting your bras!β A woman with a Czech accent and a tape measure emerges like a genie rubbed out of a lamp.βNow, bend over and sway them, do what Iβm doing, do what Iβm doing. Now I will lasso them with this tape measure. Angelaβs former size? LMNOP. So clearly now she is a DD. At Victoriaβs Secret? Everyone is a C. If you reject underwire, we will spritz you with perfume.β
βRight,β Dr. Obeng is all aboard. βDDDD, at least.β
Inability to ascertain size shall henceforth be known as an Obeng.
They take a slow, miserable ride back to the hotel, with JoJo promising Angela theyβre almost there every few seconds. Have I mentioned JoJo is MVP Ultimate Super Friend? This carries into the next day, when JoJo has get-well balloons for Angela, and orders some liquid food to sustain her.
Angela wakes up in utter misery, still groggy from anesthesia. She reports feeling flat as a board, but Dr. Obeng is
... keep reading on reddit β‘A buck-an-ear!
I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!
Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasnβt expecting this!
He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.
and not:
Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:
Riceless
That was the punchline
He is now naming streams after he is done because he always wanders off topic
3:40 Beartaria talk/Tells Ames to get him some coffee/Bitcoin is trauma based mind control/He hopes everyone loses money on it/If you hold on to currency the next generation dies
9:00 Owen is into silver/Elon talk/Owen explains bitcoin/All bitcoin traders he knows are losing their minds/This is about controlling mens behavior
17:00 Bitcoin will continue to collapse/ Elon is completely nuts/Owen has had a hard road earning all this money, donβt βmuth be nitheβ him!
22:00 People like Owen because he is grounded in the real world/IG recap/Superchats
27:09 He starts whispering that the whole problem is porn (His kids are nearby)/Talks about incest porn/Sin is what makes people sick
32:00 Charlie says βeggβ He says a few more words/Owen displays his eggs, calls them butcoin/Owen has been vegan for a month/ Owen got fat because his body is βreleasing toxinsβ/Pot makes you gay/Letters
38:30 Patreon talk/Claims they won everything/Patron has slandered Owen
43:00 Starts talking in a detailed way about gay men culture and AZT/ The shame about the gay orgies was what made them sick
52:00 Still talking about AIDS and gays/Letters/Gays come from bad fathers/J talk/Encourages bears not to hate the Jays
1:05:30 Bears are not obligated to help gammas who have turned on Owen/We will experience revelation in our lifetime/Plays leprechaun clip
1:25:40 Codd is going to drive to Idaho, his schedule will be sporadic next week/More packages/He starts blowing into a tube that also plays piano?A pianomonica?/Owen is more than happy to blow, plays Africa/Plays hava nagila while his cow urinates loudly
1:29:39 He is now playing for the cow/He calls Walter over to listen and play/Says he is done for today
1:31:30 He was a little aggressive in the chat yesterday/He does not understand sarcasm/No one should confront Owen, but its not cucking/You are playing with fire if you flex on him/He does not know your intention online so be mindful of it
1:33:45 Charlie plays the pianmonica/ Superchats/Bitcoin is backed by nothing/Gold and Silver are the most Godly and biblical currencies/Flat earth talk
1:41:30 Owens eyeballs look like earth/Fractal realities/Owen is a globe skeptic/Science is a fraud
1:50:00 Shows more IG memz/Says he needs to wind down/Owen tested off the charts on all his science tests/Owen likes experiments
1:56:45 Owens comedy was a public service to the world/Superchats/The bea
... keep reading on reddit β‘Itβs for Hispanic attacks
He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.
Windows
Old Neeeeiiiiighvy
10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
Remember that time you got a haircut at a walk-in salon, and despite an agreement that hair would remain long, you walk out looking like mom put a bowl on your head and got to cutting? Imagine that, but with a body part that doesnβt grow back. Jennifer Grey with her nose lopped off, thanks to a surgeon going Dr. Frankenstein and opting to remake her instead of following instructions, and when the anesthesia wears off, she doesnβt recognize herself. This is what happened to Angela.
Angela is being ordered to open her orbs so Dr. Obeng can start telling her that everything is fine. All this unplanned oxygen has her lungs angry and wondering where her chest anchors went, and Dr. Obeng is eager to get her out of there before sheβs awake enough to notice he fucked up. For now heβs safe, because Angela has astral projected into the roped-off smoking playpen arranged ten feet from the entrance, and sheβs gonna remain there for the rest of this episode.
A nurse inquires about whether sheβs in any pain, and the βpain scaleβ question makes more sense, because her stomach and tits have been transformed into coin purses, so yes, sheβs in fucking pain. No one seems concerned that Angelaβs escape from anesthesia is so prolonged. Meanwhile, Dr. Obeng psyches himself up in the bathroom mirror and promises himself he doesnβt look terrified, before heading out to lie to JoJo.
βSheβll still be a double d,β the doctor Obengs, thinking he should probably see if he can get his deposit back for that in-ground pool. βWhy are you quacking at me?β
βNow now, size depends on who is fitting your bras!β A woman with a Czech accent and a tape measure emerges like a genie rubbed out of a lamp.βNow, bend over and sway them, do what Iβm doing, do what Iβm doing. Now I will lasso them with this tape measure. Angelaβs former size? LMNOP. So clearly now she is a DD. At Victoriaβs Secret? Everyone is a C. If you reject underwire, we will spritz you with perfume.β
βRight,β Dr. Obeng is all aboard. βDDDD, at least.β
Inability to ascertain size shall henceforth be known as an Obeng.
They take a slow, miserable ride back to the hotel, with JoJo promising Angela theyβre almost there every few seconds. Have I mentioned JoJo is MVP Ultimate Super Friend? This carries into the next day, when JoJo has get-well balloons for Angela, and orders some liquid food to sustain her.
Angela wakes up in utter misery, still groggy from anesthesia. She reports feeling flat as a board, but Dr. Obeng is
... keep reading on reddit β‘Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"
I did not know.
So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"
So proud.
Feyonce
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