5 ants rented an apartment with another 5 ants

Now they're tenants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2723brad2723
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2023
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A man is lost and asks a barber for directions

The barber gave him the β€œshort cut”

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/R3dd_Tha_D3v1L
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2022
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Looking for the most complex ligma joke of all time

Greetings Reddit. This isn't your classical dad joke, but I bet that this sub definitely has some memers versed in this particular art. I have an odd but noble request. A request that will probably involve you abandoning some of your morals and going to lengths that you never thought possible. Some of you may not survive this, others will be scared for life. For those of you who do survive, all I can promise is an absolute abundance of vicarious comedic climaxing.

I am looking for the most complex, well-executed, strategically sound, stealthy, and grandiose ligma joke of all time, one that my friend will not see c(u)oming. He is very, very well-versed in ligma jokes, so this will be a difficult task. For example, just today I tried to get him with a Europe joke (Europe on this dick), but he caught it right away, didn't even flinch. I got him with a Samir joke a few weeks ago (Samiring these nuts on your face), but that's the only recent success I've had (really had to tee that one up too). I even asked him if he wants to hear about the new girl I'm talking to named Wilma (Wilma dick fit in yo ass) AND HE DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND.

As you can see, I'm at war with an absolute psychopath who is extremely well-versed and capable in this particular style of warfare. I'm looking for a complex ligma joke that he will never see coming. I will go to great lengths to achieve this sweet comedic release. I am talking about some pepe silva level shit. I am talking fake my own death just to jump out of my casket at the funeral type shit. So, please send any recommendations. Before you call me a normie, this war is based on layers and layers of irony.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/josh34521
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2022
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Dad is on the bench because of knee surgery….

So I’m at the house pulling weeds on the sidewalk for him (I’m 39, Hes 63), he comes out and checks on me, brings me water. We talk and I point out to him that there has been 3 military bomber style planes pass over the skyline in the last 10 minutes. And I told him I bet there will be another one. He asked me what kind of plane? I told him I don’t know. A bomber. b52. C130. C7. Like that.

Finally, ten minutes pass and sure enough another passes. I point it out and he says

β€œOh that’s a C130”

And I shrug and say β€œyea well, you C130, you’ve seen them all”

And he repeated it while laughing.

So I’ll keep that in my memories for later.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freshchance02
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2021
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