Mom was really struggling to come up with a team name, she's not super into football, and when she asked for suggestions, my dad immediately blurted "How about 'Mom Brady'?"
Messi
Then, My Luck ran out.
They keep winning due to their psy-kick.
Because of all the fans.
Why would anyone fantasize a losing team?
It’s a superbole.
"You've broken your hand."
"Take thine father's blade and ascend!"
>!The solution is Pa's Sword 1234!<
He took all of Patrick's Mahomes.
Because it always gets touchdowns.
The punter.
It ain’t Right!
He replied ”Rudolph the red knows rain dear”.
Boy-ant-C!
Commander in Chiefs.
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
Curry On Wayward Son.
Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.
Me: "You're up"
Dad: "Asia!"
Me: "What about Asia?"
Dad: "Well you said Europe!"
Thanks to u/adamdidit for being my "father" in this situation
For Pete's sake, I guess he wants me to pay for it myself!
Tomorrow, a group of friends are having a Skype party trivia night and I need help trying to think of a punny name that involves “COVID-19”
Anyone got any ideas?
Doesn’t matter. It’ll be gone too Zune.
Hoosier daddy
The lineman.
It was a ball hogger.
They called me Soccertes.
That took a lot of balls.
Upon its first sighting, the Jim Henson Company issued a press release, "Comet Defrog here."
Because they always call the flop.
The Green Bay Picards.
The punter..
