Fiance: Beer is just water and hops.

Me: I wonder why it never played basketball....

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📅︎ Jan 15 2019
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I don't put an orange in my beer often

Except maybe once in a Blue Moon

👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/hastings43
📅︎ Nov 10 2017
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My daughter will be a great dad someday

Last night, I tried to tell my 10 year old daughter the classic "Kangaroo walks into a bar" joke. For those who are not familiar, a version of this. I got to the point where the Kangaroo orders the first beer, and my daughter interrupted me with "let me guess - the beer wasn't hoppy enough." Nope. But I like the way she thinks!

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/JakeDC
📅︎ Aug 23 2017
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Hops

Wife: You've been drinking beer. I smell it on your breath.

Husband: No, I've been eating frog legs. You're smelling the hops.

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Apr 25 2019
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I was really good at basketball until I started drinking

Beer took my hops.

👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Feb 12 2015
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Feel like a beer

My girlfriend NEVER drinks, but she had a little bit of a stressful day this day and was kidding. We were walking into the grocery store after work.

Her: Whew, I feel like a beer!

Me: [squint and give the slightest grin]

Her: I don't feel like A beer! I feel like HAVING A beer!

Me: Well I feel like a beer. Look at all these hops. [hop a few times with feet together like an idiot]

She enjoyed my lame joke.

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👤︎ u/meinsamr
📅︎ Jun 27 2016
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My dad at a fancy restaurant...

Dad: "Do you have frogs legs?" Waitress: "Yes" Dad: "Great! Hop over the counter and get me a beer!"

👍︎ 63
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👤︎ u/Yensooo
📅︎ Oct 26 2013
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New craft beer

Dad: Son, I have come up with a new craft beer recipe.

Son: Really, Dad? That's cool. What makes it different?

Dad: Oh, it requires rabbits.

Son: Rabbits???

Dad: Yes. I need them for the hops.

👍︎ 7
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📅︎ May 16 2015
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