Why is ice cream bad at tennis?

It has a soft serve.

đź‘Ť︎ 18
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/carson2210
đź“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
So all of the deserts were playing a game were they tried to steal each other, the cookies were stealing the scones and the danishes were stealing the ice cream and they were all doing it pretty badly but the pie

the pie takes the cake

đź‘Ť︎ 2
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/pokefire44
đź“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
penguin is driving down the road

So a penguin decides to go for a drive, as he's heading through town smoke starts pouring out from under his bonnet. Bollocks he thinks and gets it towed to a local mechanic. The mechanics tells him he needs to spend half an hour having a nose to find the problem so the penguin heads off for a walk. Being a nice day he decides to get himself an ice cream, but of course having flippers not hands he gets the ice cream all over his face and beak. The mechanic calls to say he worked out the problem and the penguin heads back. Upon entering the garage the mechanic says " hmmm bad news mate, it looks like youve blown a seal" to which the penguin replies " no, no it's just ice cream "

đź‘Ť︎ 31
đź’¬︎
đź“…︎ Jun 18 2022
🚨︎ report
Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? “My Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


“What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➡

đź‘Ť︎ 10
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/Punsville
đź“…︎ Apr 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Ice-Cream Puns

What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream? You get Breyer’s remorse!


How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.


How do astronauts eat their ice creams? In floats!


What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a’la mode.


What does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.


Why don’t they make ice cream from breast milk? It’s an udderly bad idea!


Where is the best place to get an ice cream? IN A SUNDAY SCHOOL.


What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What’s the scoop


Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.


Your evil stepdad isn’t “presidential” just because he got you ice cream and told you things would change after

beating the shit out of you.


In 1973 my dad left to get ice cream and never came back. Mom says he’s probably just lost because he hates stopping to ask for directions.


If my house catches fire after I’ve sat down with a bowl of ice cream, I’m going down like the goddamn captain of a ship.


I try not to judge people based on first impressions but if I see you put gummy bears on your ice cream stay away from me and my family.


Guy on my train: a crowded Amtrak on a freezing day is the right time and place for me to enjoy a big ass ice cream cone


What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream


What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream? You get Breyer’s remorse!


How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.


How do astronauts eat their ice creams? In floats!


What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a’la mode.


The new Baywatch Official Trailer reminds me that bathing suit season is right around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the ice cream truck.


You can buy eel-flavored ice cream in Japan.I guess if you are out of chocolate and vanilla.


Being in a long term relationship and seeing your partner naked is like driving a hearse that plays ice cream truck music. Mixed emotions


I wish I had as much hope as the guy driving the ice cream truck around in February.


MC Hammer eats a lot of ice cream every day because as a kid his parents told him, “U Can’t Touch This”


On May 2nd a drunk driver almost ended my life.

... keep reading on reddit ➡

đź‘Ť︎ 2
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/Punsville
đź“…︎ May 27 2017
🚨︎ report
What would you like for dessert?

Would you like strawberry shortcake or blueberry pie with ice cream?

(Either answer)

Yeah, that sounds good to me too. Too bad we don't have any!

*my Grandpa (rip) to my dad repeatedly, now my dad to me regularly

đź‘Ť︎ 2
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/Richard_Punch
đź“…︎ May 21 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.