21 Hilarious Back It Up Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I called my wife and told her that I'll pick up pizza and coke on the way back from work. But it seems she was not happy.

. She still regrets letting me name the kids.

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👤︎ u/YZXFILE

📅︎ Nov 18 2021

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My new Christmas jumper kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back to the shop

And exchanged it for a new one free of charge

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👤︎ u/sockhead99

📅︎ Dec 10 2021

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Breaking news: The cast of Friends have all made it back to shore alive after an incident where they got stuck at sea. Matt Le Blanc was quoted saying “The engines blew up, and none of us had any real experience with sailing, but it was okay...

...Because Lisa Kudrow.”

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👤︎ u/Dongwaffler

📅︎ Sep 13 2021

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A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.

The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”

The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”

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👤︎ u/labink

📅︎ May 27 2020

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I was at a restaurant the other day when I saw a customer throw a plate of curry at a waiter. Immediately, the waiter picked up another plate of curry and threw it right back.

That's korma for you.

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👤︎ u/thehatter6453

📅︎ Aug 17 2021

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Earlier, I was driving behind an ambulance when a cooler fell off the back. I stopped and opened it up to find a foot inside..

So I decided to call a toe-truck.

👍︎ 7k

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👤︎ u/ThaPlymouth

📅︎ Mar 03 2020

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Tae Kwon Donkey (The Ass that kicks back) And Crab Maga (The Krav Maga crab that doesn’t just talk crab, he backs it up). Figured this community of punsters would appreciate the universe we are creating on Patreon. reddit.com/gallery/lgzbtq

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👤︎ u/KicksandStrings

📅︎ Feb 10 2021

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My wife and I were woken up at 3am by loud banging on our door. I got up, opened the door and there was a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain, asking for a push. "Are you insane man?!!? It's 3 in the morning!!" I screamed, slamming the door and stormed back to bed...

"Who was that?" asked my wife.

"Just some drunk asking for a push." I grumbled.

"Did you help him?" she asked.

"No, I did NOT! It's 3am and it's pouring rain!"

"Well, you've a short memory." she said. "Don't you remember three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! Now get out there and help him!"

She had a point, and angrily, I got dressed and went out into the darkness, calling out, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes."

"Do you still need a push?"

"Yes please."

"Where are you?"

"Over here...on the swing."

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Jan 08 2021

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(1) What type of airplane bounces back up when it crash lands?

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👤︎ u/justin_raphael_7

📅︎ Jun 04 2020

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I checked into a motel and the clerk told me I had the second room on the second floor. He picked up the key to hand to me, but hesitated and took it back.

I said, “Well? 2B or not 2B?”

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👤︎ u/zedhead0628

📅︎ Apr 17 2020

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The sweater I bought from the store was picking up static electricity, so I went back to change it.

They gave me another one, free of charge.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Aug 22 2019

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Most people back up their argument by saying: "I read it ...", But what do Redditors say?

I Reddit on Reddit

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👤︎ u/Marracie

📅︎ Jan 19 2020

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I tried to explain to my kids why the ball comes back down when they throw it up

But they don't understand the gravity of the situation

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👤︎ u/Gone_Aria

📅︎ Nov 10 2019

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I had to hoof it back up a few blocks to take this picture.

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👤︎ u/Seatpan

📅︎ Oct 31 2017

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My wife keeps waking me up to go turn off the computer and then turn it back on again.

I hate these late night rebooty calls.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Jun 26 2018

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Back it up!

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👤︎ u/nate223

📅︎ Apr 10 2014

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When my boyfriend said this I played it back over in my head a thousand times wishing I had come up with it

::watching Bruce Lee documentary::

"....when we were young, Bruce was scrawny but constantly picking fight that he would always lose..."

Boyfriend: yea, we a, we called him Bruised Lee

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👤︎ u/Sunshine_Moonshine

📅︎ Jan 24 2013

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A man orders an egg sandwich. The waiter brings it to him, and the man looks at it suspiciously. He asks for the chef to come see him. The chef walks up and says "Is there a problem?" The man replies back "I'm sorry, but this egg looks retarded." So the chef says...

"Well, it's in bread."

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👤︎ u/ThatCoolKidcalledPat

📅︎ May 18 2015

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I called my wife and told her that I'll pick up pizza and coke on the way back from work. But it seems she was not happy.

She still regrets letting me name the kids.

👍︎ 81

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👤︎ u/avigyan_33

📅︎ Jan 22 2020

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The sweater I got last Christmas kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back to the store and exchanged it for another one…

…free of charge.

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Dec 20 2019

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The sweater my kids gave me last Christmas kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back to the store and exchanged it for another one…

...free of charge...

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Jul 05 2018

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