B Dna Puns

There's no dental records & all the DNA matches...

hi hungry im dad was the response no i said, mom just gave me the dna testing

When I asked myself, “Why don’t we just use our DNA to make online purchases? It’ll be a new form of Crypto’s Currency!”

It was inGRAINed in his DNA.

The doctor says " i think i know whats wrong here, your DNA is backwards."

The patient then replies "AND?"

Doctor: Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards.

Dad: AND?

Buddy: Wait, so their idea was, "Your son is the devil, we can fix that with a bone marrow transplant and a virus?"

Me: No, I think they were lying about the retrovirus and just putting holy water and stuff into the marrow to exorcise him. That is my guess because they were just nuns, not real doctors.

Buddy: But, when he was freaking out at the end didn't the nurse say, "The gene therapy would have worked, but he was just too strong!"

Me: Oh yeah, maybe they had some of Jesus's DNA. So, instead of the CRISPR gene they use the CHRISTR gene....

I got an eye roll! No kids yet, but at least I know I can rise to the occasion.

Me: You got the goods?

Dealer: I have an alloy of iron and carbon for only $1.

Me: My, what a steel!

Guy: Hey, wanna hear my joke?

Boxer: I dunno, man. People always say I ruin their punchline.

Teacher: What are the four components of DNA?

Student: Actually, there are five: Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine--

Teacher: Oh? And the fifth one?

Student: I got I got I got I got...

Me (metric): Why does America use the imperial system? It's stupid.

Friend (imperial): Actually, other places use the imperial system.

Me: Which other places?

Friend: The Galactic Empire.

Guy: I hate spam.

Me: I like sushi.

Me: I like sushi.

Me: I like sushi.

...

Someone: Son of a gun...

Someone Else: Now you've just pistoled me off!

Okay, I know these are not the greatest puns ever, but this is my first post in this subreddit. Anyway, now here are the explanations:

Joke 1 - An alloy of carbon and iron is popularly referred to as steel, and stainless steel costs $2.41, in which the item receives a 58.51% reduction in cost, which is a mighty bargain, also known as a steal.

Joke 2 - Boxing is a sport in which your only goal is to knock your opponent out through a series of punches. The ending or twist of a joke is commonly referred to as the punchline of said joke.

Joke 3 - Check out Kendrick Lamar's DNA song.

Joke 4 - Troops and personnel of the Galactic Empire from Star Wars are commonly referred to as the Imperials.

Joke 5 - Spam musubi, or just spam, is a type of sushi. On the internet, spam is referred to as the repetition of a specific message, especially when emailing, to annoy or advertise a product/website to someone.

Joke 6 - The phrase, "Son of a gun", is a friendlier alternative to the phrase, "Son of a bitch!" Also, when you annoy someone, that means that you pissed them off, which sounds a bit like "pistoled".

Because everyone has the same DNA

RNA and DNA were hanging out in the nucleus when RNA said “Uracilly man, D” to which DNA replied “what doth Thymine?”

I said, "A DNA test."

Using recombinant dna.

My 9th grader brother at dinner: We're learning about evolution in my Biology class. Today I learned that 50% of human DNA is the same as bananas' DNA.

Dad: Now you know why I'm always going bananas!

My 9th grader brother: -stands up, pushes in chair, leaves table-

Super Bowl party. Lots of snacks. My daughter made guacamole, and everyone loves it ... Except me.

I'm not really a Guac kind of guy. It's not in my DNA. "But it is in my RNA."

Head scratching and groans.

http://pandyland.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/2013-03-26-dna-sample.png

Source: http://pandyland.net/82/

Dad: "Hey...how do you tell male DNA from female DNA?"

Grandkids: ??

Dad: "You pull down its genes."

Me: ಠ_ಠ

Why is DNA never fashionable? It's always wearing the same genes.

Edit: I can't spell.

Neither. My DNA is 100% human.

This happened about 5 minutes ago.

He was looking around the house for his pants when he finally asks me "Have you seen my jeans?"

I respond "Yea, they should be in your DNA"

My teacher was describing DNA being made up of four parts. Adenine, cytosine, guanine and thymine. Comparing DNA to RNA being the same except that in stead of thymine, it is uracil. I wake up from a daze and shout "No your a cell!"