Bomb Pun megathread!

Post all bomb puns here, whether they be good or bad.

Edit: Wow. This blew up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heraldoftheplague
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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I made an explosive snow man in the shape of a cow

It was a-bomb-in-a-bull

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jrob225
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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Did you hear about the Mexican terrorist...?

Did you hear about the Mexican terrorist who planted a bomb on the train? He had loco motives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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Osama Bin Laden never took showers..

Because he just loved using bath bombs too much..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyMcFry89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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I filmed and screened an entire documentary series on terrorism.

But it bombed.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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After extensive studying of terrorist suicide attackers I have to say...

Those guys are the bomb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nahteviro
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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What’s the explosive a miner uses?

The bomb-diggity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ft_a_ladder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Tried telling my sister a terrorist joke

Sadly it bombed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Killerzaz202
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Request for help remembering a joke

Hello,

I am requesting help with remembering a joke. Posts of this type did not seem to be against the subreddit's rules, but if I am in error, please let me know and delete my post.

Anyway, here is what I remember of the joke:

It is movie themed and it says something like this: "There should be a post-apocalyptic zombie movie with a romantic comedy element. Then we would have the world's first rom-com-zom-dom-bomb." The only thing is that I forget what the "dom" was supposed to mean and whether or not there is more to this joke, either in the set-up or the punchline. I googled it to no avail. Any help is appreciated.

Thank you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ontoforever
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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I recently did a joke about a suicide bomber not having a return ticket

and it bombed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/listeningSaint
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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I am going to decorate my next christmas tree with miniature tnt sticks instead of candy canes

Oh tannen-bomb oh tannen-bomb...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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One of my favourite dad jokes from the early 00’s: In an attempt to stop the spread of bird flu

President Bush has bombed the Canary Islands. Turkey is next!

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πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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What do you call a terrorist in the bath

A bath bomb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomcrew10
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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A mad bomber walks into a bar . . .

He lit the fuse on his bomb and the bartender sprayed him with water from the soda-gun, dousing the bomb and putting out the fuse. The bartender said, β€œI foiled your plan mad bomber now get out before I call the cops!!” The mad bomber re-fused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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If womb is pronounced as β€œwoom” and tomb is pronounced as β€œtoom...”

Then shouldn’t bomb be pronounced as β€œboom?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoyTheShip
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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I once dated a girl in ISIS,

She was the bomb...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nepthy66
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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While discussing Jordan conducting air strikes on ISIS

Dad: Did you hear about how Jordan has been bombing ISIS?

Me: Yeah, it's pretty crazy.

Dad: I know... So do you think Jordan's Air Force is called "Air Jordan"?

Me: :-/

Dad: They probably have the Nike logo on their jets.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2015
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A yeti questions the masculinity of an explosive cow

Because a bomb in a bull's no man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_love_420
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
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Call me B52...

Because I bombed that test!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Americas_Finest_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Expanding gas in a sealed container is

Da bomb.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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What's it with Eminem and Dad jokes?

I mean... just look at those:

- Why has Gwen Stacy been on the web lately?

to spite her man. -River

- Why do you carry a Laptop in your back pocket?

Because rapping like a computer must be in my genes. - Rap God

- Why did Eminem blow?

All he did was throw f-bombs - Rap God

- Why did Eminem buy the rap game a maxi pad?

Because it's having a rough time period. - Rap God

- Why did Eminem look so shocked when he watched a church gathering take place?

He was witnessing a mass occur. - Rap God

- How could Eminem poop Jerusalem?

Because his shit is real. - Caterpillar

- Why is Eminem so ill-behaved?

He's got a couple of mansions, but still no mannors. - Lucky You

And these are just a select few.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenaPhoenix
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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Hyper dog tries to eat batteries

At work we have a policy where you can bring your dog. Today Frank the dog was in the office. He is a super hyper dog all day long. During the day someone was changing out the batteries in the keyboard and Frank was trying to get the old batteries. Franks owner pulled him away and said no you don’t eat batteries. This was the point I spoke up and dropped the bomb.

β€œFrank, you don’t need batteries. You’re already charged up enough”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Broncothrow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?

He bombed on stage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_love_420
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2016
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Got a good one on my wife today

I was pushing our two year old along the street in her push chair and let an s-bomb slip by accident.

My wife says, "don't talk like that in front of our daughter!"

"It's fine, I'm walking behind her."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seanfish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
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My dad just told me a joke he told about 2012

Back before the world was supposed to end on Dec. 21st, 2012 a friend, and employee, of my fathers was certain the world would end. He quit his job, built a bomb shelter, and stocked it with enough canned food and guns for years.

When the world didn't end he called up my dad all pissed off that he wasted all his money on this stuff and he didn't need it, and my dads response:

"Hey man, just relax, it's not the end of the world."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Great_SaiyaMan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2015
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Help ! I am running out of bomb puns ! Details inside.

So, me and my group of friends recently started a gag going on one of our friends. She rolls with it, so it's okay.

So we just mess around with puns like "You're the bomb", "You've got an explosive personality", any bomb or explosion reference/pun we can make when talking with her or about her basically.

However, we are running out of puns.

Anyone got suggestions ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BarbasPT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2016
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Standing up during your flight and shouting, "I'VE GOT C4!!!" is not wise.

While you may think your the bomb, it's really just plane stupid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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My SO this morning:

Me: "Your breakfast game is the bomb.com"

Him: "Yeah, like https.thebomb.com - I'm secure and I got this on LOCK down"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/polyphonictree
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2015
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Why should you never shower with a pokemon?

Because he might Pikachu!

I used to get to do these all the times. When the drawer got stuck I would wrestle the obstruction inside blocking it and exclaim that this would not be a problem if we just had a lesser cheese grater...I began to love bombing there for a while. Ah...

Edit- no one got the grater joke then either, don't feel bad. but it was on the spot so it didn't need all the setup i ruined here. Try this for your brains: Our drawers often had a lot of utensils and stuff in them, and some of it was also big, like the cheese grater. That would get jostled and end up on top of a fork pile or whatever and be up high enough in the drawer to keep the thing from opening, ie the drawer would open to where the grater hit the back of it and jam the works up, right? the grater was too great. i needed a lesser grater so the drawer wouldnt get jammed. Did that help?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSpaceYeti
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2013
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Top 3 Dad Jokes
  1. β€œdid you hear about the kidnapping today?

    • really what kidnapping?
    • it was a young kid, but it’s okay he woke up
  2. β€œOmg dude this thing is so sick!

    • should I take it to the doctor?
  3. β€œDude this burger is so bomb!”

    • does it explode?”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlipBoyLarry
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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The defendant was accused of bringing dynamite into a steer.

A-bomb-in-a-bull!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gt0t
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
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A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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If you say AT&T backwards....

You will sound like a Canadian Bomb Technician.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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If you made an explosive device, but disguised it to look like a dog left in a hot car....

Would it be a Car-Pet Bomb?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRage469
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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The son woke up terrified

He went to his dad and said I had a nightmare. So the dad said tell me about it. Well I was on a train full of bombs. It was freight-ening

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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English

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killian5302
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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