Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
"Who was that?" asked my wife.
"Just some drunk asking for a push." I grumbled.
"Did you help him?" she asked.
"No, I did NOT! It's 3am and it's pouring rain!"
"Well, you've a short memory." she said. "Don't you remember three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! Now get out there and help him!"
She had a point, and angrily, I got dressed and went out into the darkness, calling out, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes."
"Do you still need a push?"
"Yes please."
"Where are you?"
"Over here...on the swing."
She gave him a weigh in a manger.
"NO I WANT A WHOLE BUN"
She's well on her way to being the dad I never had
What are you doing up so oily?
Have a fourth one yell "BINGO"
in other words, I graduated MAGA cum laude
3 men were on a boat, having dinner. In between the starter and main dishes they went smoking on the deck. Once arrived on the deck, the one with the cigarettes figured he had 4 cigarettes but no lighter. He threw one cigarette overboard so that the boat became a cigarette lighter
Him: No, I told you Iβll be home by a quarter of twelve.
... Just a blanket statement
After dying in a fatal car crash, 3 nuns end up at the pearly gates and the saint there tells them "Since you're so pure of heart and free of sin you can all go into the Kingdom of Heaven if you answer 3 questions. I'm going to ask you one question each."
The saint turns to the first nun and asks: "Who were the first two humans God created?"
She says: "Adam and Eve!"
She gets into Heaven.
The saint turns to the second nun and asks: "What was the one thing Adam and Eve were told not to do in the Garden of Eden?"
She says: "They weren't allowed to eat the fruit of knowledge!"
She gets into Heaven.
The saint turns to the last nun - the mother superior - and says "Since you're the mother superior my last question is going to be difficult to answer, but if you answer correctly you can get into Heaven. So my question for you is: What was the first thing Eve said to Adam when they realized they were naked?"
Now she has to think a little and as she thinks she's close to conceding, uttering "Gee, that's a hard one..."
The saint lets her right into Heaven.
The End.
dozen weeks.
There were no other babies there, so I decided to keep him
βCos its twirly.
She told me to go sleep on the apri-cot.
He disappeared without a tres.
in Heinz sight, it was a bad idea.
Fortunately, my injuries were super fish oil
He yells "yeah my left one, my right one, and a weeKNEE!" Child giggles ensue. Instilling dad jokes at a young age. Dadding done right. (:
I only have super fish oil injuries and I'm lucky I wasn't krilled!
... the wounds were super fish oil.
Because it says "concentrated"
Thatβs just a blanket statement.
Picture of my wife man says. I'm gonna keep drinking till she starts lookin good.
I thought it was a bit harsh to hold a 6 year old back for 3 years.
Donβt worry, my injuries are super fish oil.
trois cat sank
edit: trois quatre cinq
edit: the cats are french
I replied, "I sure can, but it'll take me about half an hour."
Im a real guardian of the galaxy.
I am now being sued.
A bunch of ROTC kids were getting sworn in at halftime and the lady says, "I, state your name." And I swear to you, half the dads in the stadium go, "I state your name" followed by stifled chuckles
Daycare Lady: "does your Grandpa have a house on the lake?"
Son (with a serious face): "no his house is on the grass."
Son: "Mommy. Do you know who wrote this book?"
Wife: "No, buddy. Who?"
Son: "The author."
Luckily the injuries are only super fish oil.
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push." he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not! It's three in the morning and it's pouring out!"
"Well, you have a short memory." says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes." comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here, on the swing."
Luckily my injuryβs were only super fish oil.
Luckily my injuries are only super fish oil.
The man gets up and goes to the door, where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance!" says the husband. "It's three o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push." he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not! It's three in the morning and it's pouring out!"
"Well, you have a short memory." says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes." comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here, on the swing."
Luckily, my injuries were only Super Fish Oil.
Luckily, my injuries were only Super Fish Oil.
That's just a blanket statement.
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil.
His injuries are nothing more than super fish oil
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil.
