My date was supposed meet me at the gym but they didn't show up.
That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
The guy at the gym recommended I do lunges to stay in shape
That would be a huge step forward
π︎ 42
π
︎ Apr 06 2021
My son proposed to his girlfriend while they were at the gym and she said no...
I guess they didn't work out!
π︎ 29
π
︎ Mar 19 2021
I asked my personal trainer at the gym, which type of machine I should use to make myself more attractive to women?
He suggested, the cash machine .
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 17 2021
My personal trainer was upset at me because I kept using the same machine at the gym
It was the vending machine
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
I told my date to meet me at the gym, but she didnβt show up.
I guess this means we canβt work out.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
I asked the trainer at the gym, which machine I should use to impress the ladies?
He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine. "
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied βScrew you!β
So I'm pretty excited for the new year!
π︎ 34
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
Where is the GYM located at Hogwarts?
Right through the Dumbell Door
π︎ 268
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
Why was the farmer arrested at the gym ?
He was destroying his calves
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
Overheard two guys at the gym this morning.
Guy 1: Bro could you pass me that pamphlet?
Guy 2: Bro, sure
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
I keep winning the "Laziest Member" award at my gym.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
I just saw real a real idiot at the gym.
He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.
π︎ 77
π
︎ Jul 25 2020
Honestly, I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Nov 29 2019
I always try to push other people at the gym
I once knocked an old woman into a treadmill
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
Asked My Date To Meet Me At The Gym, But She Never Showed Up...
Guess the two of us arenβt going to work out
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Feb 17 2019
I ran into my ex girlfriend at the gym.
π︎ 34
π
︎ May 26 2020
So I proposed my girlfriend at the gym yesterday
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jun 02 2020
The lights went out at the gym, and the bodybuilders were fumbling around for their protein shakes...
Just couldn't find their whey in the dark.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 20 2020
There's a new machine at the gym, it does absolutely everything
Soft drinks, potato chips, chocolate cookies and candy
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 20 2020
I wanted to know how to build big muscular shoulders. I tried asking a guy with big traps at the gym, but I still have no answer...
...every time I ask him, he just shrugs.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 03 2020
Why doesn't the bell ring at the gym?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 02 2020
While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill.
People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
π︎ 487
π
︎ Jul 03 2019
There was a line of people outside of the gym I workout at the other day. I found it quite weird as the line of people were paying money just to hit each other.
Guess you could call it a punchline.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 17 2020
I tried sleeping at the gym once
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 13 2020
Instead of getting fit at the gym, my dad drinks soda.
He calls it fizzyotherapy.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 06 2020
Where did they keep the gym equipment at Hogwarts?
Behind the dumbbell door.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 13 2019
What do you call Bell when she's acting stupid at the gym?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 21 2019
I was working out my calves at the gym today.
The instructor said, "How the hell did you bring the cows here?"
π︎ 116
π
︎ Dec 31 2018
A girl saw her boyfriend flirting with other girls at the gym
She walked up to him and said this isnβt working out.
π︎ 182
π
︎ Nov 01 2018
I was supposed to meet my girlfriend at the gym but she never showed
I guess we're not going to workout
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
I was doing the bench press at the gym the other day...
I just had to get some things off my chest.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
I spent ages at the gym trying to get a ripped body
but it just ended up in tears.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 29 2019
Yesterday I spotted a skinny guy at the gym
Always nice to help fellow gym goers
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
Got a stranger at the gym
Walked into the gym locker room yesterday and some guy was half-jokingly ranting about smelly dudes in the gym to the guys around him. I'm just doing my thing, getting dressed, putting on deodorant when the guy notices me.
Guy: See, this guy gets it. Thank you for actually using deodorant.
Me: No sweat.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Nov 18 2014
I saw a guy at the gym bench pressing 280lbs
And thought to myself, "that's too weighty for me"
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 18 2019
Thought this at the gym...
People you who enjoy stationary bicycling at the gym are cyclepaths...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 17 2019
Got my gf at the gym
My lady and I workout together during the week. Yesterday was chest day and we usually start with incline DB press. She pumps out her second set very well: controlled reps, full range of motion. I was proud to see her progress. She said the weight felt easy, to which I replied, "you could increase the weight... if you were so inclined." She muttered "oh my goodness..." and walked away.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Aug 22 2014
After an intense session at the gym, I asked my personal trainer what was the best way to show off my new muscles.
He told me to hang upside down from a tree branch and curl my arms behind my back.
I said βweird flex but OKβ
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 10 2018
So my dad came up with this one at the gym yesterday
So I have a buddy that works out around the same times as my dad during the week. When this guy works out he always has a superhero under armor shirt on, usually spiderman it something similar.
My dad asked what hero he is today, he replied "I'm Thor". To which my dad said "well maybe if you thretched more you wouldn't be tho Thor!"
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 24 2014
What do you call a snowman who has been working out at the gym?
The Abdominable Snowman
(Genuinely got this from my dad)
π︎ 28
π
︎ Jul 23 2018
I tried arranging a date with a girl at the gym
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 14 2019
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didnβt show up.
That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 06 2021
Where is the gym located at Hogwarts?
Just out the dumbbell door.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
Asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up.
Guess the two of us aren't going to work out.
π︎ 801
π
︎ Jan 14 2019
While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill.
People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 20 2019
A guy proposed to his girlfriend at the gym today! She said no...
Guess that didn't workout
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 19 2019
A man at the gym just proposed and she said no
I guess that didn't work out
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 23 2019
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