Android P Puns

Me: "But you already own her home."

Dad: -turning to daughter- "If you don't sleep with him, I will."

Credit to u/psybermonkey15

it only took me a minotaur two

Can you make me one with everything?

https://www.reddit.com/r/WatchPeopleDieInside/comments/kb2m9o/most_successful_joke_ever/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

To beat the crowd.

Edit: All credit goes to u/AleoMoorea, who posted it here.

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

Click here to find out!

But then I look back on the post that I have saved from a year ago that says otherwise.

They couldn’t find the Androids they were looking for.

Unfortunately, the stairs don't talk.

I'll give credit where credit is due.

These days, people will click on anything even if it's nothing more then a catchy title

[Link] (https://www.google.com/search?q=image+of+the+word+gottem&oq=image+of+the+word+gottem&aqs=chrome..69i57j33l3.5289j0j9&client=ms-android-htc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#imgrc=_qE-mtWpN0cj1M)

https://www.reddit.com/r/PunSpecialForces/comments/ccfpi5/we_need_to_raid_rpuns/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Recently a member of r/PunSpecialForces has requested to raid r/puns, but a member of r/PunInternalAffairs is trying to stop this. This is a message to keep you guys safe.

There'd be mass confusion

(Inspiration: https://www.reddit.com/r/monkeyspaw/comments/cy1td0/i_wish_the_usa_would_finally_switch_to_the_metric/eypnk65?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)

Ah - the good ol' Mazda meowta

https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/9sgqbx/car_vs_dragons/e8oni93?utm_source=reddit-android

It’s too bad because I only seem to be able to find androids and iPhones now.

To some Android owners it’s their galaxy

All the seats were already taken.

A frog walks into a bank. The teller says 'Hi, I'...

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/adqq9x/what_is_the_funniest_joke_you_know_by_heart/edkyl7k?utm_source=reddit-android

An angeroo!

https://www.reddit.com/u/69nepmac69?utm_source=reddit-android

My favorite memory of my parents is going to some...

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ar90mx/whats_the_dumbest_thing_your_significant_other/eglz2pb?utm_source=reddit-android

Very modest of you, glad you’re not lion.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/abmnbt/short_story/ed24i0m?utm_source=reddit-android

Nice to meet you, "Hate You Company!"

https://www.reddit.com/r/Rainbow6/comments/9ratic/ubisoft_im_hate_you_company_im_waiting_for/e8feb5j?utm_source=reddit-android

She works in an android factory.

It's called Punfound, on android and ios. Check it out!

https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/j5h6z7/who_says_you_need_10_fingers_to_be_perfect_we/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/ii7t65/his_jokes_arent_always_bad/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

But their grandchildren still listen, in spite of rule 4, because hearing dear old grand-da be excited about his stories is just so sweet, whether he remembers tellin them or not

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https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/g8vr7z/pack_and_move/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Like this

To get to the idiot's house

Knock-Knock

So here is an original post

This