Wanna know something about the Among Us ghost chat?
It's usually pretty dead.
there’s an impasta among us
I was playing among us and someone accused me that i was impostor
I just need to vent about it for a bit
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
For my birthday my brother bought me an elephant for my room.
I said "Thanks." He said "Don't mention it."
Who is the imposter in a game of AMONG US among mythical characters?
Pega-sus.
Hey. Don't say Je's-looking-Sus bro
Some dumb random puns from an Among Us server.
I bought my Daughter a locket with her picture inside, for her 18th birthday..
Just so glad She's now finally independent..
I've just found a CD among my collection that's a good twelve inch in diameter.
Surely that must be a record.
I gave my dad his 50th birthday card.
He said: "One would have been enough."
What do you call an Italian playing among us?
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
I don’t understand why my son was so upset I gave him broken down cardboard for his birthday.
He’s the one who kept asking for an ex-box.
America made Among Us, what’s Europe’s equivalent?
Him: Do you want to play among us tonight?
Me: Sure, what are you playing?
How did Darth Vader know what Luke had got him for his birthday?
For my birthday I got a t-shirt that says "I'm a nudist."
Son: Hey dad, you wanna play Among Us?
Dad: Sure, but what are we playing?
My son came up with this gem just now during his birthday dinner:
What kind of beans do you find in a measuring cup?
Pint-o beans!
What do you gift a ghost for it’s birthday?
For his birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that swears at him instead of beeping.
He’s in for a rude awakening.
You know, if a cat or dog plays among us, they will wanna be the...
My mate bought me a terrible thesaurus for my birthday.
I just couldn't find the words to thank him.
The number-one-selling brand of tea among US police officers is called “Tally”
What does a clam do on his birthday?
My dad used to encourage us by saying “when one door closes another one opens”.
Lovely man. Terrible cabinet maker.
Today’s my husband’s birthday and he’s a huge pencil enthusiast. I got him a great gift
Seems like someone’s gonna get lead tonight.
I don't think I'll be able to tell you the whole story about the rich kid's birthday presents
What American President had the highest approval rating among pirates?
I just got a new job in a factory making plastic Draculas. There are only two of us on the production line
so I have to make every second count.
I threw my blind wife with a surprise birthday party
She never saw it coming!
Edit: I changed the title and still has a typo -.-`
For my first birthday, my father gifted me a set of gaming cubes supposedly owned by Al Capone...
I've been spending most my life playing with a gangster's pair of dice.
Arr Appy Birthday
https://preview.redd.it/daqptxzus6u61.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a5ed488542b73ef441b499b4b42089a480cc36f4
I wonder if the US President will run for re-election in 2024…
if he’s even alive bi den.
Help me out: need some rockstar/music themed food puns for my 3 year old’s birthday party!
Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. We’ll be serving:
Chicken nuggets
PB&Js (in the shape of guitars)
Veggie tray
Fruit tray
Water & juice
I’m struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have
Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isn’t even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know 😂 Help me out if you can think of any more!
My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in america. If I was born anywhere else....
my birthday would be 24/7
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?
What did the one-eyed pirate say on his 80th birthday?
I recently bought my only Daughter a locket with her picture inside, for her 18th birthday.
.. just so glad She's now finally independent.
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said...
"You know, one would have been enough."
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