Some top Tom Swifties
  • "Can't talk, busy camping," replied Tom, intent.
  • "The French don't deserve our thanks," said Tom mercilessly.
  • "Haven't you heard me singing in church?" Tom inquired.
  • "I'll win this tennis game if I get one more point, " Tom deduced.
  • "I didn't eat my T-bone tonight," said Tom mistakenly.
  • "So you're asking about my mink coat," Tom inferred.
  • "I'm wearing a watch around my wrist," said Tom with abandon.
  • "I'm the most important salmon vendor," said Tom selfishly.
  • "I was correct the first three times, and I am correct now," said Tom forthrightly.
  • "Castration is reversible," Tom remembered.
  • "I brought the dessert," said Tom piously.
  • "I command my own private army," said Tom maliciously.
  • "I'll order the same meat as last time," Tom revealed.
  • "I've never swum in Egypt's longest river," said Tom in denial.
  • "Et tu?" asked Tom brutally.
  • "That's women for you," said Tom dismissively.
  • "I'll have a bowl of Chinese soup," said Tom wantonly.
  • "I eat everything," said Tom in jest.
  • "I gave you your freedom, and I can take it away," said Tom deliberately.
  • "Maybe if I rub this lamp something good will happen," said Tom ingeniously.
  • "I'm never taking an Uber again," Tom derided.
  • "That dog is a mongrel," Tom muttered.
  • "It's too bad Babe isn't on our team," said Tom ruthlessly.
  • "Maybe I should stop using worms to catch fish... or maybe not," Tom debated.
  • "Hemingway is my favorite author," said Tom earnestly.
  • "This drumming is too easy," said Tom without missing a beat.
  • "This is a frozen dessert,ā€ I screamed.
  • "Now I have TWO duck feathers", Tom doubled down.
  • "She would never answer her phone the first time, you always had to hang up once," Tom recalled.
  • "Two plus five is seven,ā€ Tom added.
  • "I only have Diamonds, Clubs and Spades," said Tom heartlessly.
  • "It's okay, the PlayStation still works," Tom consoled.
  • "Capital punishment is mostly used on the lower classes," said Tom with poor execution.
  • "Where are all of my old board games?" asked Tom cluelessly.
  • "I might be acquitted," said Tom without conviction.
  • "I've never dyed my hair red, but I'll try it," said Tom gingerly.
  • "Ugh! I need to shave again," Tom bristled.
  • "Whale hunting makes me so sad," Tom blubbered.
  • "I'll quit smoking marijuana right now!" said Tom bluntly.
  • "I like hot dogs more than hamburgers," said Tom frankly.
  • "I signed it twice," Tom remarked.
  • "I received a letter to take my car in for repair," Tom recalled.
  • "I hate pale ale," sai
... keep reading on reddit āž”

šŸ‘︎ 7
šŸ’¬︎
šŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2022
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Help me rememberā€¦

I forgot my favorite song! I have jamnesia.

Who was that guy who bit my neck? Vamnesia.

Iā€™ve been out of school so long, I canā€™t remember what it was like to stay up all night studying. I have cramnesia.

What band was George Michael in? Wham!nesia.

I canā€™t recognize my blood relativesā€¦famnesia is a terrible condition.

I never pay enough attention to advertising emails to remember them ā€” spamnesia comes in handy!

I used to drive the ice-smoothing machine, but forgot how. Zamnesia.

Iā€™ve had memory issues ever since that aggressive sheep headbutted me. Ramnesia!

I could never be a prison guard, because I have a condition that prevents me from recognizing escapees: lamnesia.

I can never remember the names of women who are my social superiorsā€¦I have maā€™amnesia.

What do they call that big concrete wall that blocks the Colorado River? Sorry, I have damnesia.

Iā€™m not sure if Iā€™ve ever eaten mussels ā€” my clamnesia is acting up.

What did we eat during last yearā€™s holidays? I have hamnesia.

Whoā€™s that celebrity chef from New Orleans? I got a bad case of BAMnesia!

šŸ‘︎ 2
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/fuzzus628
šŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2022
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