Why is agitating your dough the best way to make bread?

You have to get a rise out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Amphibatron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
People say having a missing toe makes you more easily agitated with people, but honestly I’m more chill.

Guess I Lack toes and Tolerant

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeoNite
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are Germans always so agitated?

They’ve all got a Hannover.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/R4R03B
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report
A cow asked his farmer β€œWhat do you do?”

No response.

So he asks again, β€œWhat do you do?!”

No response.

Slightly agitated the cow again asks β€œWHAT DO YOU DO?!”

The farmer blurts β€œI HERD YOU!”

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Millenial
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an annoying potatoe?

Agitator

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evensnowdies
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad agitated my sister while she was having a tantrum.

Sister: I'm ANNOYED!!!

Dad: Good! ... We need more noids.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Howzitgowen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2015
🚨︎ report
My wife hates it when I wash delicates on the casual setting...

She gets too agitated.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bb5x24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
True story

A friend was getting married in a small church. I was part of the wedding party, and we were at wedding practice, making sure everything went off without a hitch. We noticed the bride to be seemed a bit agitated, so we asked her what was wrong.

"The church is so small," she said, "which I love - but where will we fit the musicians? we hired three string musicians to play us in and out of the wedding and there doesn't seem to be any place for them to play!"

I looked at my friend and his bride-to-be and smiled.

"You have nothing to worry about. Haven't you heard...?" They shook their heads in unison.

"THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR CELLO."

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ranseler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the man destroy his Washer?

It was agitating

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Majoroniell
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
That's the trouble with fans

They're always agitators.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/geldonyetich
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Insulting bus driver.

A woman got on a bus, holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind." "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sasquatchit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Classic driving dad joke

My mom my dad and I were driving home and my dad didn’t know if he should turn left or right up ahead so he asked my mom (who was already agitated) for directions. She said, β€œLook like any driver and find out.” My dad responded, β€œI look like any driver but I still don’t know.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deanj2003
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I think my laundry detergent didn't appreciate me pouring it in the washer.

I don't know why, but it just seems agitated.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad can string this joke out forever. I've seen it go for 20 minutes.

A man gets a new job at the zoo.

On his first day, he still doesn't really understand what exactly he's meant to do, just that it involves the Gorillas. He goes and checks in and the manager sits him down to explain.

"Now look," says the manager, "We've been having some troubles lately with our gorilla. He was acting up, getting really agitated with the environment, so we had to send him away. We told the people that enclosure's being repaired, but we're actually looking for a new gorilla - can you do it for us?"

The man is unsure, but he needs the money, so he agrees, puts on a gorilla suit and goes out there. At first he's a bit mopey, so he sits around a lot.

After a couple of days he begins to warp up and eats a couple of bananas and wanders around a little.

Over the course of the next few weeks he becomes progressively more outgoing, moving around, playing in the jungle gym, hollering around and beating his chest. He's a big hit and everything's going really well for him, until one day he's on his monkey bars and getting really into it, but he slips and flies through the air, over the pit, clears the fence and lands in a pile of bushes in the next enclosure.

He is just beginning to pick himself up, when out of the corner of his eye, he sees something in the foliage.

A pair of eyes lock with his.

It moves closer.

He knows this is it.

He begins to pray.

Suddenly the creature leaps and tackles him - the biggest, ugliest lion he's ever seen!

It leans in close.

He can see every gleaming tooth in it's mouth

He can smell the lion's breath

It opens it's mouth

And from inside the lion he hears a whisper.

"Make this good or we'll both lose our jobs."

πŸ‘︎ 660
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toggle2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2013
🚨︎ report
Doing the laundry

I was staring the laundry, and accidently dropped a sock as I carried the pile of clothes to the washing machine.

My wife picked it up and teasingly said "your dropped a sock".

I responded "geeze, who kew doing the laundry could be so agitating".

The look of confusion, then shock and statements of "no... No... Why!" were worth it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kuranei
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2015
🚨︎ report
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.

I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Exallium
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2015
🚨︎ report
Not a dad, but I think I cracked a pretty decent one today

I was at band practice, and my friend was getting agitated by a bee that was flying around him.

Me:"What're you doing?" Him:"There's a bee that's flying around me and it won't go away." Me: "Well then just let it...be"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.