The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve

It was an Apple with tiny memory -- just one byte and everything crashed.

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👤︎ u/professorf
📅︎ Nov 08 2022
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The first computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple that barely had any memory. One byte, and everything crashed.

It probably ran on Python

Credit: u/FriendofHolySpirit

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📅︎ Sep 14 2018
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Where does a dyslexic kangaroo go when he's sick

The Hopsital

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📅︎ Sep 11 2022
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So proud of my grand daughter

My son took his eldest daughter (Grace 5yo) to the shops with him to get a few bits for his wife that was on the way back home from hospital after giving birth to thier fourth child.

While there Grace asked "daddy can I have an animal bar" so Adam bought her and her 2 siblings an animal bar for after thier dinner.

On the way back home grace asked "daddy can I have my animal bar now please", "only if you can say please daddy five times" Adam replied, so Grace responded "please daddy five times".

Ive never been prouder

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📅︎ Oct 30 2021
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I got a universal remote for Christmas. This changes everything.
👍︎ 8k
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📅︎ Jan 30 2019
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You lied to me!

A child asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."

The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."

The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

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👤︎ u/H-KEVIN
📅︎ Apr 10 2019
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Church School

Sally was at Sunday school, when she fell asleep. The teacher realizes this and says, “Sally who is the creator of life?” Her friend, Colin, who sat behind her. Poked her with a needle to wake her up. She wakes with a jump and yells, “GOD ALMIGHTY” The teacher responds, “Very good Sally.” Soon later, Sally falls back asleep. The teacher, again notices and says to her, “Sally who is our savior?” Colin again, pokes her with a needle. Sally jumps up and yells, “JESUS CHRIST!” The teacher responds, “Very good.” For a third time Sally falls asleep. The teacher, having enough of it, asked, “Sally, what did Eve say to Adam after they had their 17th child?.” Colin again, pokes Sally with a needle to wake her up. She jumps up and yells, “I SWEAR TO GOD, if you shove that thing in me one more time, I’m going to rip it from you, and shove up your throat!”

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👤︎ u/NashYaBoi
📅︎ May 03 2019
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Russian Puns

How does every Russian joke start? By looking over your shoulder.


Whats the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?  Nothing, they’re both fictional characters


What’s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union?  It’s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party’s.


What do you call a Russian with Tourette’s Syndrome?  Yukanol Fukov.


What is 150 yards long and eats potatoes?  A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat.


What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User’s Manual?  The bus and train timetables.


What is Communism?  The Poles say it’s the longest and most painful of the roads to capitalism.


What do you call a gassy russian? Vladimir Tootin


What is the fastest country in the world? A: Russia


What do you call a Lada on a hill?  A bloody miracle.


What did Wendi Murdoch say to Vladimir Putin?  Put-it-in!


What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles?  Electricity.


Did you hear about the winner of the Russian beauty contest? Me neither.


When was the first Russian election held?  The time that God set Eve in front of Adam and said, “Go ahead, choose your wife.”


Russia really Putin a lot of work for the Winter Olympics


I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.


America: Hey Ivan.. Russia: da.. America: what do you call a gassy Russian.. Russia: hoe don’t-.. America: Vladimir Tootin.. Russia: !   America: !!.. Russia: fuck you.


Me: Netflix and chill more like NYET-flix and chill.. Closetcellist: in a russian accent NO FILMS. ONLY CHILL.


So you want to tell me… Hilbert was Russian to the loud noise?


This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the difference between Russian and English fairy tales?” We’re answering: “The English fairy tale start with ‘Once upon a time…’, and ours with ‘It will be soon…


This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why some people say that Hungarians love the Russians and hate the Americans?” We’re answering: “Because Russians helped Hungarians to get rid of one totalitarian rule, but Americans don’t help to get rid of the other.”


This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why Lenin wore regular shoes, but Stalin wore boots?” We’re answering: “At Lenin’s time, Ru

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/Punsville
📅︎ May 16 2017
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In the garden of Eden

Adam and Eve were spending time together, and it started to get hot and heavy. When Eve tells Adam to stop, he asked what's wrong? She sits up and pulls a fig from behind her back and says I don't wanna have sex on the first date

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👤︎ u/King_Sized
📅︎ Nov 02 2017
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I was checking out at the store...

...and my total came to $10.08. I pulled out a ten and asked my girlfriend, "Do you have any change?"

"How much do you need?"

"Eight cents."

"I have that in pennies."

"Can I just get a dime then?"

So she gives me a dime, and I pay for my stuff, and I say, "Looks like you'll get two cents back!"

"I don't want two pennies! Why would I want more pennies?"

"Change adds up! If you get two cents every week, you'll have over a dollar in just a year!"

"Why are you so adamant about giving me two cents?"

"I'm just giving you a piece of my mind."

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📅︎ Sep 25 2014
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The first computer dated back to Adam and Eve

Just one byte, and everything crashed

👍︎ 275
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📅︎ May 27 2022
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Did you know the first computer dates back to Adam and Eve?

It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

👍︎ 320
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📅︎ Dec 08 2021
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The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.

👍︎ 11k
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👤︎ u/DoomRulz
📅︎ Dec 18 2020
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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just one byte. And then everything crashed.

Edits: Thanks for all the awards!

👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/deant_b01
📅︎ Apr 25 2020
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The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte.

And then everything crashed.

👍︎ 12k
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👤︎ u/ENJOYblet
📅︎ Dec 16 2018
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The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/MacItaly
📅︎ Aug 07 2019
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The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/moses10960
📅︎ Feb 15 2018
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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with just one byte. And then it crashed.

👍︎ 17
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👤︎ u/buildblox
📅︎ Jan 12 2019
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Did you know the worlds oldet computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve?

The computer was branded by apple, but it had very limited memory. It only had 1 byte and then everything crashed

👍︎ 10
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📅︎ Dec 04 2019
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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple.

It had extremely limited memory. Just one byte. Then everything crashed.

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👤︎ u/krystx57
📅︎ May 25 2018
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How were people born?

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

👍︎ 53
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 08 2019
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Found this joke online xD

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything CRASHED.

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📅︎ Feb 12 2019
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