Ok this needs a bit of context: η« is a Chinese word that is read as 'mao'
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︎ Jan 31 2021
If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
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︎ Jan 23 2021
A man walks into an open casket funeral and approaches the widow at the front. He asks: "Mind if I say a word?". "No, go ahead" she replies.
"Bargain" the man says.
"Thanks" the woman replies. "That means a great deal."
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︎ Jan 31 2021
So last week i got myself in a bit of trouble when i mixed up the words jacuzzi and yakuza
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia
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︎ Feb 25 2021
What is another word for a urologist?
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︎ Feb 15 2021
When I was a kid, my parents would always say, βExcuse my Frenchβ after a swear word...
Iβll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French...
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︎ Dec 30 2020
What do you call a word that sounds funny?
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 12 2021
I hate people who use the same word twice in a sentence...
π︎ 14
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︎ Feb 11 2021
What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?
π︎ 756
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
What's a word that doesn't rhyme with itself?
Football, chocolate... I dunno, lots of things don't rhyme with "itself".
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︎ Dec 04 2020
My creative writing teacher told me to submit a creative 2,000 word essay.
So, I gave her 2 pictures.
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︎ Jan 12 2021
What's another word for a skilled gamer?
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Teacher: "Use the word sugar in a sentence."
Student: "The tea is too sweet."
Teacher: "Where is sugar in the sentence?"
Student: "In the tea!!"
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︎ Jan 26 2021
I come up with a really lame two word gay joke the other day that i was afraid my gay mate might find offensive
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 11 2021
I was at a friends funeral and I said to the widow βdo you mind if I say a word?β
She said go ahead.
I stood up said βplethoraβ and sat back down.
βThank youβ, the grieving widow responded, βit means a lotβ
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Here's a word of advice:
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 31 2021
I just found out that Aaargghhh is not a real word.
I canβt tell you how angry I am at this.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Dad, I need help writing a sentence using the word "irony."
Try this :
I licked a golf club and it tasted irony.
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︎ Dec 03 2020
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
My friend wagered that I didn't know another word for aiding in a wrongdoing...
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︎ Jan 24 2021
My wife said, βWhy donβt you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?β
I said, βThatβs.....a novel idea.β
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︎ Jul 26 2020
Apparently you canβt use βbeefstewβ as a pass word
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︎ Dec 17 2020
What is a necromancer's favourite word to use to cast a spell?
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︎ Dec 30 2020
I just made up a word
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︎ Dec 07 2020
I told my teacher I learned a new word, Plentiful
She said βcongrats!β
I replied βthanks, it means a lotβ
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Teacher: Use the word oath in a sentence
Student: Mike Tyson eaths oaths for breakfasth every morning
Edit: made this up today, have merthy on my thoul
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︎ Dec 02 2020
What's another word for a marine biologist?
π︎ 69
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Iβm thinking of a word. Starts with P and doesnβt have an ending
π︎ 23
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︎ Nov 21 2020
I invented a new word today
π︎ 35
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︎ Nov 30 2020
What do you call a British guy when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?
PunGent
Tried posting in Dad jokes sub and I guess it was the wrong place for a triple pun.
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 15 2020
What's another word in a thesaurus for 'mother' ?
Can't say. Mum's the word.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Teacher: Use the word βintermittentβ in a sentence.
I said: While I was camping it began to rain hard so I ran intermittent.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
"Trousers" is a fancy words for pants
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Before he passed away, my grandfather said, βHere are three words that would help open a lot of doors for you.β
π︎ 5k
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︎ May 11 2020
Iβm not saying a word without my lawyer present
Cop: But you are the lawyer?
Me: Then whereβs my present?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
A friend of mine does not know how to spell the word "Christmas".
He just knows it has no L.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
A widow is mourning at her husband's grave site. A gentleman walks by and says "If you don't mind, I'd like to say a word."
"That would be nice" she said. "Plethora"..... "Thanks, that means a lot."
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︎ Oct 28 2020
My Dad: Can you tell me a sensible sentence that uses the word 'because', three times, consecutively?
Me: Not today, Dad.
My Dad: Give up. Let me tell you in his glorious beaming pride face
I use because, because, because is a conjunction.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
My dad has a way with words.
I think its time for him to join the Dad's Poet Society.
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 05 2020
Whatβs another word for a gay club.
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 19 2020
They call it a password because without the word...
π︎ 15
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︎ Aug 13 2020
Just found out that 'Aaarrrgggghhh' isn't a real word.
I can't tell you how angry I am.
π︎ 142
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
I invented a new word,
π︎ 15
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︎ Nov 29 2020
When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word.
I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French
π︎ 675
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Invented a new word today:
π︎ 16
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︎ Nov 12 2020
What do you call a man when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play.
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Me: Iβm not saying a word without my lawyer present, Cop: You ARE the lawyer
Me: So whereβs my present?!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
Just found out that Aaaargghhh is not a real word.
Canβt tell you how angry I am at this.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Oct 08 2020
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