Your Business Puns

What's your business or side hustle?

Some people cannot comprehend that not everyone wants a business. Some people genuinely just want to show up, do their work, make a nice enough income to support themselves/family, and go the fuck home.

"Oh? You're tired of being exploited? Well pull a business out of your butt and go exploit other people instead!"

Fully ignoring that not everyone has the means to do that and not everyone WANTS to. It's fucking exhausting. We don't need 40 shitty coffee shops on one block just because Starbucks pays like shit. How will you hire anybody to run your half-assed business if everyone takes your advice and fucks off to start an etsy?

Obviously, it's not a good faith argument. It's just a deflection so we don't try to alter the status quo and actually treat workers better. It just pisses me off.

Edit: Trying my best to respond to comments! Thank you to everyone for engaging and for those offering their own small business perspectives 😊

We always see threads about salary discussions but not much about small businesses.

Small businesses - Less than 10 staff.

How do you motivate yourself in the late afternoons and evenings to work on your own entrepreneurial business, even after you had a mentally exhausting day at your full-time job?

I am in this exact situation and seek advice from others who are in the same boat.

This is actually my mil's story, but she doesn't use reddit.

So, my mil was pulling in to a parking space at a big blue store and the person parked in the space in front of her was starting to back out of the spot and had left her cart there, so my mil went to grab it and just use that for her shopping. The woman had left her wallet in the seat of the cart though, so my mil flagged her down and got her attention. The woman immediately starting going off at my mil telling her to mind her business and that the cart was fine where it was, so my mil decided to take her advice. She told the woman "Fine, I'll mind my business. Your wallet will be at customer service." and then walked away. By the time the woman registered what she had said, parked again, and went into the store, my mil had already dropped the wallet off at customer service, where there was a long line, and warned them that she was pretty nasty.

Apparently when the woman went to get her wallet, she started to make threats and was threatening to call the police if anything was missing. The manager told her she would not be doing that, and that it was her own fault she left the wallet in the cart.

I worked for a manufacturing company opperating hot foil printing machines.
For the first 6 months everything went smoothly. I was working 2 machines like most of my other co-workers.
Working hours were 8am to 5pm with an hour lunch break, although nearly all of us came in early to set the machines up, and left late after cleaning up the machines at the end of a run. Usually 15 to 30 minutes extra per day.

The owner then decided he wanted to retire and sold half of the company to a larger firm with the intention of staying on another year before selling the other half.
The new company insisted on all workers (not office staff) clocking in and out as well as increasing the work load by pushing production goals. The machine they used to clock everyone in and out was the cheapest they could find and nobody knew how to set it up so it shifted the cards into the right place to print the time, so times would often be printed on top of one another, or out time would be printed on the in column etc. Big headache for the office worker trying to sort out the mess from 30+ workers each week.
To start, everyone carried on as normal, clocking in when they arrived and clocking out when they left.

A week in and everyone on the production floor is called into the office. "There will be no unarranged overtime being paid and everyone must clock in and out at the right time." was the message from the new boss. 15 minutes of downtime just to tell us that? Okay then.

We would all arrive at our usual times and start to queue up waiting for the clock to tick over to 8am. Then everyone would punch in. Took around 4 minutes for everyone to use this 1 machine.

If a run would wouldn't be completed before clocking out at lunch, it wouldn't get started. So around 11:45 the production floor started to get quieter. At 11:55 it was almost silent while everyone queued to clock out for lunch at 12:00.

12:55 everyone queueing up again to clock in at 1pm. 4:45pm would bring in another quietening.

A week later we all get called in to the office again.
Some people were not putting in their full hours. They were clocking in a few minutes late and/or clocking out a few minutes early each day and this was not acceptable for the new boss. Also we had to make sure the cards were printed in the correct position so it was easier for the office worker who dealt with the wages to calculate our times. No mention of fixing the clock machine.

So we dilligently set about making sure the c

In response to the thread about businesses you no longer support.

I wanted to see which places people swear by. Who or what place keeps you coming back?

We need to figure out how to lower taxes on the little guy... How the hell did we get stuck paying ~30% in income tax and than taxed on EVERYTHING else you buy? Even fun things like say, going to a bar or going to an amusement park, TAXED! Or even say, a learning guide on how to create epoxy tables, taxed because you want to better yourself!

I know a dude who ownes a business and he writes EVERYTHING OFF. Like im talking EVERYTHING. Laptops, gas, meals that we eat together, beers, just about everything you can think of as a long as he keeps his tabs and says "i was discussing business with a client/potential client". Then he gets a write off. Blows my mind.

We need to do something because this shit is killing me mentally that we get it handed to us from all ends and never get any kind of let up....

Dont even get me started on real estate. That is one of the biggest tax havens aside from churches.

Covid hit small businesses pretty badly in 2020 and is still affecting a decent amount of them today. If you know a small business you feel like doesn’t get the credit it deserves, comment to spread awareness for them!

With the popularity of the #metaverse game, we would like to introduce our game to the world. Land of Realm your virtual sweet home is built to be like decentraland and with more added features. What if you can portal yourself to the past, or portal yourself to the future. owning a piece of land in Coco's metaverse you can build your online e-commerce business or your virtual home. There's a lot you can do with Land of Realm make sure you follow us and check out our website.

www.landofrealm.com

Get ready for Land Of Realm ❗️|❗️

Land of Realm will break the #INTERNET in a few months. Live in the #Metaverse 🏡or run your virtual e-commerce business inside our Metaverse

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

🚨Migration/and private sale will be airdropped on January 11 just few mins after launch

🚨Presale on now, check telegram

🚨Poocoin Ads for presale

🚨Yahoo Press Release will be out next week covering all areas

🚨Launch on January 11 stealth launch anytime between 3 PM PST - 6 PM PST

🚨First Few minutes of launch there will be a 99% tax all going into marketing

🚨First 24 Hours of launch there will be a 25% sell tax.

🚨|🚨DO NOT BUY UNTIL I SAY SO🚨|🚨

You will be considered a bot if you buy before I said it’s say you buy ! And I’ve done it once and I’ll do it again!

We highly recommend everyone to join our Telegram for our latest info and be the first to know.

All our AMA will be hosted on our telegram channel.

https://t.me/landofrealm

This poll - https://www.reddit.com/r/Entrepreneur/comments/r3d0e1/what_is_the_average_monthly_revenue_of_your/ had a decent number in the $10k to $100k per month range.

If you're in this range, what does your business do?

. .

Bonus points for info on;

• Profit as a %
• Number of people you employ
• Number of customers
• How long it took to get to this point

Edit; formatting, added "how long" question to add context, as most efforts aren't overnight success

Gus, it's 5 degrees outside. The "real feel" even lower than that. You've held it all in since 9 last night, and I'm bundled as much as a human can be against this cold. That disgusting old snow... oh good. First pee. This won't take too long. Sure, you're wearing a fur coat but you must feel the cold. Right?! How is that disgusting remnant of snow interesting? No, you didn't just see someone walk up the street. No, there isn't another dog walking over there. It's 6:15 in the bloody morning! No one is here but us! If you had balls they'd be frozen. Can you please find your ... wait, why are you dragging me into the road? The man who was on the street a minute ago is gone. How do you... oh good. Poop. We've passed this construction site a thousand times before, the new pavement cannot ... oh good. A second pee. That's enough. Whatever is left in the tank can wait. It's freakin' freezing... no, Gus, the ivy isn't something to eat. Come on!

This happened many years ago at the company I currently work for. At the time we had about 130 company vehicles at our location, and our own fuel pumps. Our location is a few miles outside of town. There was one small privately owned gas station within 100 yards of our company. It received a lot of our business, because while we did not get gas there, our employees would stop in the morning, lunch and after work to pick things up. Their breakfast business was very strong.

One of the owners was very rude. She would curse at us to hurry up and pick what we wanted, but for the most part they were ok.

There was a change in the law on below ground fuel pumps, and we found out that we could no longer provide our own fuel to company vehicles. As a result we made a deal with this small gas station to provide all the fuel for our company.

Right away it was a nightmare. They only had 4 regular pumps and one Diesel pump. While the regular cars could fuel up at different times, our large trucks would bottle up bad in the morning at the one pump. So we sat down with them and requested they install a fast diesel pump designed for Large trucks. I was actually in on that meeting. The wife just laughed at us. She said there was no way in hell she would pay for that, and if we did not like it we could just take our business elsewhere. In her mind we did not have a lot of options, and even if we did she would still have all our breakfast, lunch and after work business.

cue compliance...

So we did. We did not want a repeat of what was happening at this location so we supplied all employees with a comdata card so they could get fuel any place they wanted. This hurt that business more than anyone could have realized. With our employees now stopping at the locations of their choice, they no longer needed to stop to pick up snacks, drink or food at this store. Their morning, lunch and after work business evaporated.

Three months later they came to our company to let us know they would now install the new pump. We told them it was too late. I still remember after we said no, the angry woman got mad again and used the F-word. 1 month after that just the husband came by and asked if there was anything he could do to get our business back. We had signed a contract and it was actually saving us money so we said no. They closed the store about a year after that and tried to sale the location for a million dollars. It sat for years until it finall

I own a restaurant in Mexico and I've seen/heard that many people are starting to get into Crypto. I've thought about accepting BTC and probably some other coins as a payment method, but I haven't figured out how it would work. What makes sense to me, is to receive the Crypto transfers to my own personal wallet, then paying the customer's bill myself in cash, but I'm not sure if that's the best idea.

Has anyone gone through something like this? Do you accept BTC in your small business? What advice can you give a fellow Crypto Hodler?

Thanks in advance!

While I was taking a nap, my wife received a call from our electric company claiming our service was in imminent danger of being disconnected due to being three months arrears. Normally I handle all of the bills but due to life getting more hectic I had just transitioned all bills to my wife. It was at the point they were directing her to download a non-company application to send payment that she twigged to what was going on and hung up.
Why YSK: It is a continuous arms race between the scammers and their targets. I’m in a technical field and I’ve educated my family as best I can, but it only takes a momentary lapse, during an already chaotic moment in your life, for you to make a mistake, and it can be very costly.

1. if a company calls demanding immediate action, tell them you’re going to hang up and immediately dial their eight hundred number to resolve it.
2. never give them any information to confirm anything, they called you they have to prove to you who they are.
3. fear tactics are their bread and butter, they will keep you off balance and on script, do not be afraid to tell them to hold while you verify their claims.

Hi everyone,

I've got some downtime and I'd like to build a publicly accessible, always free software tool for sweaty startups and small businesses. No strings attached. It will be a web tool available from any internet browser.

What free software tool could you use in your business today? If you add a comment to this question, I'll let you know if the scope is too large or if it's a reasonable scope for me.

I have no ulterior motives. Why am I doing this?

• To keep my skills sharp
• Give back to the community
• Get the satisfaction out of seeing people use something that I've built
• Because making things is fun

Thanks everyone

Update: If you think I'm trying to scam you because I'm willing to work for free, I have news for you. There's thing thing called open source software. You won't believe it, but developers around the world have contributed to open source projects and you'll never guess what the average pay rate is. It's $0. That's right folks. There are millions of developers just like me who are willing to design, develop, test, deploy, and maintain code just for the sake of helping others and building their skills.

If you're still convinced developers who work for free are always going to fuck you over, you need to give your head a shake. The server that makes seeing my post possible likely runs on free software (linux).

Update 2:

Top ideas so far are:

1. A button that when you click it does something incredible
2. Per some users, leaving this thread and finding my own problem to solve
3. System that tracks inventory of giant letters that are used at parties

Update 3:

If you're tired of devs like me telling you what they will and won't build for you, you can learn to do it yourself. I'm not affiliated with this guy, but The Net Ninja makes programming so easy that it will turn your brain to shit. He taught me a lot of what I know, so I figure I should give him a shout out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hu-q2zYwEYs

"What's your budget?" = how much can I charge you?

"Lets schedule a call" = let's get on a call, so I can waste your time and and I can try to close you on the phone.

Comment down below!

Having to pee and poop is a necessity. There’s no way around it, like having to breath air, it’s a human right. I don’t understand why our culture is so anti-restrooms.

If you’re not at home, or out driving, you have to pray to god that a business will let you use their facilities. It shouldn’t be legal for a business to refuse restroom service if there isn’t some government funded program to put public restrooms around the country. The only restrooms anyone can use when out in public is that in a park or in place of business. Not to mention providing a larger restroom for women so there isn’t a line forming in a crowded area.

Also, if the government isn’t gonna provide public restrooms, then it shouldn’t be illegal to have to do your business outside if you have no other option. I’m not saying you should shit in the middle of the street, but the idea that you can get arrested for peeing behind a dumpster seems silly. There should be some distinction between people outright exposing themselves and the people who have to go so bad but don’t have any place to do the deed. I don’t know how other countries are, but as an American it’s something I’ve noticed.

Edit: people need to read my whole post. If you think businesses should be allowed to refuse service, then the govt. needs to provide public restrooms for the general populous as a counter solution. Or if that’s the case, it shouldn’t be illegal to have to go outside.

Imagine your business strength is a property Z but your competitors business strength is a property Y. Now my business partner wants us to be good at property Y instead of focusing and marketing property Z. Its kind of saying lets be MacDonalds and KFC at same time and do what they are doing because they are successful. While frankly we are Taco Bells and make good burritos but we need to make good Big Macs in his opinion and thats holding us back.

I would make a shocked pikachu gif, but I don't care enough to do that. If admin wants slaves that have no life outside of work, fine, but you will halve your workforce. Most people want to have a life outside of work. It's not an unreasonable expectation.

With the popularity of the #metaverse (https://m.youtube.com/results?search_query=%23metaverse) game, we would like to introduce our game to the world. Land of Realm your virtual sweet home is built to be like decentraland and with more added features. What if you can portal yourself to the past, or portal yourself to the future. owning a piece of land in Coco's metaverse you can build your online e-commerce business or your virtual home. There's a lot you can do with Land of Realm make sure you follow us and check out our website.

www.landofrealm.com

Get ready for Land Of Realm ❗️|❗️

Land of Realm will break the #INTERNET in a few months. Live in the #Metaverse 🏡or run your virtual e-commerce business inside our Metaverse

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

🚨Migration/and private sale will be airdropped on January 11 just few mins after launch

🚨Presale on January 8 at 16 UTC on unicrypt

🚨Poocoin Ads Will be On Jan 6 for presale

🚨Yahoo Press Release will be out next week covering all areas

🚨Launch on January 11 stealth launch anytime between 3 PM PST - 6 PM PST

🚨First Few minutes of launch there will be a 99% tax all going into marketing

🚨First 24 Hours of launch there will be a 25% sell tax.

🚨|🚨DO NOT BUY UNTIL I SAY SO🚨|🚨

You will be considered a bot if you buy before I said it’s say you buy ! And I’ve done it once and I’ll do it again!

We highly recommend everyone to join our Telegram for our latest info and be the first to know.

All our AMA will be hosted on our telegram channel.

https://t.me/landofrealm