Dude 1: “Hey bro?” Dude 2: “Yeah bro?” Dude 1: “Can you hand me that pamphlet?”
Dude 2: “Brochure”
Yeah, I work out. I do one sit-up every day.
When I get up in the morning, that’s half. When I lie back down at night, that’s the other half.
Pokemon cards? Yeah i've got a small collection.
"I've got ants" "Oh yeah, well I've got taller ants"
"Ok, well, I've got a tube of glue"
"Ha, I've got an entire tin of glue"
"I've got... Bread"
"Damn it, you win. I can't handle that with my glue tin 'n taller ants"
Yeah, you’ve heard of bad dad jokes.
But be glad you haven’t heard of grandpuns.
First time, don’t bully me
My friend texted me saying he jumped off a tower, I said yeah right...
He says ‘I’m dead serious!’
Dr: do you smoke? Dad: yeah dr: cigarettes, Marijuana?
Mostly brisket and pork.
Dad, showing me his pinky : "Did you know that the Chinese don't have that finger ?" Me : "What ? No." Dad : "wanna know why ?" Me: "yeah"
It's because it's MY pinky.
Yeah, I know it's called the coronavirus...
...when they could have called it the KUNG FLU
This is the Rythm of the night!! The night!!! Oh yeah!!!
Roofing a new barn with my daughter. "Hey, you know that song about women roofers?" (No....) "Yeah you do - Shingle Ladies."
It's on the album "The Roof is For Hire"
Yeah, 2019 could have been better
...but hindsight is always 2020.
What was that one French girl from Harry Potter’s name? Oh yeah, it was
Bar talk: Dude 1: What was that song by Eric Burdon again; something about love is on fire? Dude 2: Yeah. Yeah. "Love is a burnin' thing, and it makes a fiery ring..."
Dude 3: I think it was Hotel California. "Last thing I remember, I was running for the door..."
