To all ya'll in Texas without tap water
Get well soon.
Did ya hear about the fetus that killed their mother
They say it was an inside job
Two brokers met on the sidewalk. "How's it going?" Said the one. "I'm fine," replied the other. "Well, gotta run," said the one. "Okay," said the other, "I'll see ya later." "All right. Bye."
It was a stock exchange.
Ya'll making puns huh?
Toucan play at that game!
Are ya winning son?
Yeah dad I'm winning.
Hi winning...
please no.
I M D A D
"Cowbells rinnnng; are ya list'nin..."
-excerpt from my upcoming song "Walken in a Winter Wonderland"
My sister in law told me a time traveling joke I was gonna share with ya all..
But you guys hated it
Ya wanna hear a joke about paper
Nevermind it was pretty tearable
What do ya call a fictional book about eggs?
A yolk-tale :D
You loose ya phone and ya wallet but Alicia keys still there.
Just hand made my first welcome sign, what do ya think?
Ill give ya
First one to upvote and comment gets my free reward
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit, “What’ll ya have?”
The rabbit says, “I dunno. I’m only here because of Autocorrect.”
Ya know, I really like the singer Sia, but I'm a bigger fan of the band that always closes her concerts
Wouldn't Wanna Beya's
Ya know the hardest thing about skydiving?
The ground.
The waitress came over and saw my leftovers and asked, "do ya wanna box for that?"
I responded with, "no, but we can arm wrestle any day."
Ya know everyone seems to hate the U.S right now, but I honestly think it’s pretty
Sick
Did ya hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field.
Ya hear about the first guy to invent garden shears?
It was cutting-hedge technology.
Ya know, what this sub really needs is more water
http://i.imgur.com/BO1guSD.jpg
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor..
But I just didn’t have the patience for it
Did ya hear? Willie Nelson died.
He was playing on the road again.
John Wick said to the ninja, “Bet ya can’t hit me with that thing!?”
Ninja replies, “Shuriken”.
A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll ya have?” The rabbit says...
“I dunno. I’m just here because of autocorrect.”
