Wise men followed a Star-Bucks...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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What road did the Three Wise Men take to visit baby Jesus?

The highway to the manger zone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSamsquanch
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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The three Wise Men originally showed up at the wrong manger and found a different baby.

"What child is THIS?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beck1670
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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The three wise men brought baby Jesus gold and frankincense.

But wait... there's myrrh!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2016
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The three wise men in the nativity were actually fire fighters.

We know this because they came from afar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IcarusI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2014
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How do you know Jesus wasn't born in America?

They needed 3 wise men and a virgin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Carolina Reaper is one of the spiciest peppers in the world. But they are not scary.

For the wise men once said: Don't fear the Reaper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rpdaca
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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The ultimate dadjoke. My toddlers believe that on 3 king’s day (along with bringing gifts) the camels severely screw up our home. I put muddy hoof prints throughout, upend the plants, knock over the tree, tear apart fruit, etc.

This year Was a symphony! We had aunts, and two grandmas join in for a seriously epic camel disaster for the kids to discover tomorrow. Feeling proud of my dad skills.

Photos here:

https://imgur.com/gallery/b8sILu3

Edit: the oldest is 5. We celebrated a day early so their aunt could be here. The real 3 kings day is tomorrow. Don’t tell the wise men!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sloanautomatic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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There once was a man.....

There once was a man who had a job driving a passenger train between two large towns. It could be a very dull job to some, but as the old saying goes, one man's trash is another's gold; he wanted to be a railroad man since he was a boy.

He was a wiz behind the controls of the train, and commanded the 15 car vehicle effortlessly as if he had been born to do the job. He prided himself on the fact that he could bend the rules and speed through curves and grades that made other motormen shiver and back off.

One day however, he wasn't so lucky and came round a bend too fast and derailed his train. He backed off the throttle and braked as much as he could, managing to only have one fatality out of 500 passengers on his train.

Months later there was a trial and he was found guilty of manslaughter in the highest degree, a capital offence in that land, and sentenced to die by electric chair. Punishment came swift, unlike most places, and 3 days after sentencing the former railroader was asked for his last meal.

"I'll have a banana," "Just a single banana?" said the perplexed guard. "The warden will grant you a feast and all you want is that?"

"Just a single banana." he said.

After he downed the fruit, he was strapped into the electric chair an hour later.... The warden hit the switch, lights flickered, and the crackle of electricity could be heard for over a minute...

...but our train jockey instead rose from the chair looking more like he got a stiff massage, rather than be put to death! Well in that nation, the law of the land states that if a man somehow survives being put to death, they must be set free...

...And so it came to pass that our engineer was let go...

And for whatever reason, he got his job back!

So he was back railroading again doing the job that he loved. You'd think he'd have been more cautious with this second chance he'd been given, but you'd also be wrong. Speedy Gonzales with a train license decided to gun his locomotive to hard and send it off the tracks again!

Of course, this time he was tried for the same crime, but at a different time (his was a fair commonwealth and double indemnity was simply unheard of!) So fair was their nation, that the jury came up with the same judgement and punishment. So three days later, when asked for his last meal, the engineer simply said "I'll have 2 bananas..."

Not less than 60 minutes after consuming the last morsel was he strapped into the chair and the switch thrown... And....

NOTHING.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onmugen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2016
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Why was Jesus not born in America?

Because God couldn't find 3 wise men and a Virgin ......

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilcrazy1995
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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