Why did J. K. Rowling‘s dog pee on her?
>!He wanted to mark his terf!<
Why did Blondie start making her own laundry detergent?
Because the Tide is high.
Why did the garden hose dump her boyfriend?
My 7 year old daughter came up with this one (I trained her well). Why did the doctor make an emergency call to the graveyard?
A judge asked a wife why she stabbed her husband 75 times.
She said her arm got tired.
Unintentional dad joke from my wife. I asked her why she wouldn't eat the skin of her baked potato.
She said, "It doesn't appeal to me."
We both cracked up at that.
Why was the T-bone not wearing her wedding ring?
Why was the cow so exhausted after giving birth to her calf?
Brought mug of tee to my wife. Don’t know why she rolled her eyes.
Why did the veterinarian quit her job?
She was tired of all the cat calls.
My wife asked why don't I treat her like I did when we were first dating?
So I took her to dinner and a movie...then dropped her off at her parents' house.
My mom asked my dad why he never spoons her
He said that he’d much rather fork
(real life dad joke from my dad)
Why didn’t momma onion want her kids in a burrito?
She didn’t want them to be wrap scallions
My wife asked why I didn’t buy her flowers.
To be fair, I didn’t know she sold flowers.
why did the lady put chocolate in her curls?
So she could tell people she has good taste in hair.
Why did the blonde have "T.G.I.F." embroidered on her socks?
To remind her that Toes Go In First.
why was the young woman so appreciative of her zombie boyfriend?
Because he was only interested in her for her brains.
Why did Whitney Houston fire her body guard?
Why can’t a farmer keep secrets on her farm?
Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beans stalk.
My 5yo off the top of her head: Why did the Lego cross the road?
To get to the other block.
(a tear was shed)
Why was the cow tired after delivering her calf?
Why did the fish slap her friend?
Why did the cow not have control of her emotions?
She had a moo disorder. Udderly out of her mind
Wife was making Canneloni for dinner. I asked her why Canneloni is a surfers favourite dish?
Because theyre tubular, dude.
I received such a satusfying groan. Thats why i do this job.
I asked her, “Why are you always driving me crazy!?”
And she said, “Well, I'm the only taxi in town”
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
My wife asked why I don't think of her every single day anymore.
Me: "Cause now I can only think of you every couple days."
My daughter loves her ball with a Dora design and I didn't know why
I asked her why and she said "That's because you said it was" a Dora ball"
Why did Virginia let Delaware her New Jersey?
My preschooler hit me with this one today: Why did the girl bring a tool kit to her room?
Someone told her to make her bed!
I was telling a story to my wife about Dubai. I asked her, "Do you know why there are so many abandoned cars in Dubai?"
Her response, "Because they go Dubai new ones!"
Why did the nurse carry a red marker with her?
In case she had to draw blood.
Why did the hairdresser lose her job?
She just wasn't cut out for it.
Why can’t a girl ask her brother for help?
Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too!
Why did the wizard’s wife have hickeys on her neck?
Because he was a neck-romancer.
My daughter asked me to make up a Halloween joke and this is what I got. Why couldn’t the witch get into her house?
Because she lost her spo-keys
Why did Wendy stop doing advertisements for her fast food chain?
The Bacon ate her (The Baconator)
I asked my daughter if she knew what today was. To my suprise she said presidents day. I asked her if she knew why we celebrate presidents day.
She said that its the day the president walks out of the white house and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of bull shit
Asked my 2 year old daughter why she is goofy. Her response...
"I'm not goofy, I'm Gracie!"
Why’d the doctor prescribe marijuana for her patients illness?
My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.
She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."
Who is time and why can’t I finish in her?
Why does Princess Leia keep her hair in buns?
So it doesn't Hang So-low!
My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?” So I took her to dinner and a movie...
Then dropped her off at her parents’ house.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
