Cop: Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?

Miner: mine.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Where in Europe are you most likely to get sick?

GERM-any

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...

"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebikerdad
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Imagine a form of public transportation where there is no monetary fee but you relive past mistakes for as long as you are a passenger
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/C0LL3CT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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You know where French fries are made?

Not in France.

But I heard they’re made in Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J4keFr0mStatef
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Essentially, anytime a new toilet is christened you are "Going where no man has gone before."
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I was just trying to enjoy a day out on the lake. No matter where you are, you can never escape the puns.
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elanstake
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Robin: where are you, Batman?

Batman: On my way, was in the bathroom.

Robin: what's a hroom?

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ereyesc95
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone knows about Murphy's Law where anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but are you familiar with Cole's Law?

It's mostly made of cabbage.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amon-Re-72
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new game getting released? It’s AI is 20 years ahead of it’s time, graphics are truly real life, an open world concept where anything you want to do is truly possible. It’s called:

Go outside and ride your bike

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the tv show where hot air balloons are attached to peoples cars

Blimp My Ride

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brandon_Mercer078
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Where are you? I can't Sia.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/This-Is-De-Wae
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A miner was on their way to work in their new car, when a police officer stops them and asks: "where are you going, where do you work, and who's car is this?"

Miner: "mine"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weetabix_gryphon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do you go when you are injured on a rebel base?

The Hoth-spital

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZaraMave
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
If you are an outrageous lunatic, a mental institute is where you should get in! Oops, meant to say cret in.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/losmi443214
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
If you are cold, DONT TOUCH MY THERMOSTAT! Just move your bed to the corner of your room where its 90 degrees.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/satirical_whit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a situation where two celebrities are fighting?

Star Wars

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jetty_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Where are you most likely to find ghosts?

In pubs - they are full of spirits.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MatzeDaBoss
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
🚨︎ report
She walks into the bachelor party. β€œWho are you and where did you come from?” I ask.

β€œIdaho”, she answers.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, do you know where my sunglasses are?”

β€œNo, do you know where my dad glasses are?"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IamtheDenmarkian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
what animal can make your house cat come to you no matter where they are in the house?

tuna can

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_me_ur_Pet-pics
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
"Aslan, where are you going with that brief case, and why are you wearing a tie?"

"Narnia business."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmomo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dilapidated building where noses are made?

An olfactory.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PixtheHeretic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2016
🚨︎ report
How do you call a place where dogs are supposed to wait?

A barking lot.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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So two biscuits are walking down the street and one says to the other "where do you live?"

And the other says "I can't tell you, you'll steal my clothes"

Please tell me if you get this. Cus I don't.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Magic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2016
🚨︎ report
Sherlock, where are you going with that shrub?

It's not a shrub! It's a lemon tree my dear Watson.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2017
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Where are you allowed to drink and drive?

A golf course.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Tamassran_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
🚨︎ report
Me: Hey dad, where are you going?

Dad: Crazy, wanna come?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KlingonPacifist
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
🚨︎ report
We have a 'Where are you?' board in my house. My dad thinks he's funny

http://imgur.com/o9zMZHh

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMrMunch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Cop: whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?

Miner: Mine

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A police car pulls over a miner and asks: What do you do for a living? Where are you going? Who’s car is that?

His answer: Mine.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sebakira
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
A copy asks a miner: whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?

the miner responds "mine."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaybutts
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2017
🚨︎ report
"Dad, where are we going?" "I don't know where you're going, but I'm going crazy."
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbg830
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
🚨︎ report

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