My daughter asked what pig milk tastes like. I said it's sower.
My closet has a weird smell to it. Do you know what mothballs smell like?
Next question. How did you get their little legs to spread?
I found what looked like a kitten frozen in my iced-over pool. I dug it out and let it defrost, it turned out to be a big squirrel.
I thought I thaw a pussycat.
I asked my Chinese friend what it's like to live in China
He says he can't complain
What's it like going out with a vampire?
You know what feels like it should be fair but isn't?
What do people who like to annoy grammar snobs call it when you leave the Great Lakes unprotected?
I asked my wife “What’s it like having to deal with periods?”
She said “I just go with the flow”.
My buddy once asked me what it's like to work as a high rise window washer...
I said it has its ups and downs.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
If you want to know what it's like to be a suicide bomber?
My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me.
When he did, I asked why he was ignoring me.
What does it feel like to get hit by a wave frequency?
When I came home from my first day at my new job my wife asked me what my new schedule was like. I said it looks like Rihanna...
...because all I can see is work, work, work, work, work...
Martha had always listened to her parents when they said ‘stay away from fire’, but today, her interests got the best of her and she intentionally lit herself on fire just to see what it felt like.
Martha was burning with curiosity
At that moment, Dr. Frankenstein knew what it felt like to be God.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the male buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
I was robbed outside and went in to report the crime. When I walked in, someone asked me what it was like outside.
I said, “it’s a bit muggy.”
What does a cat like to eat on its birthday?
You might not like it, but this is what beak performance looks like...
What does it sound like when a nut sneezes?
Whats it like working on a cruise ship?
It has it's ups and downs
It was a long time ago, a different time, when Bach wrote his music. I wonder what life was like Bach then 🎹
My son asked me what it's like to climb Mt. Everest
Sent my husband for a bandaid for my daughter’s toe. She asked what was on it as I put it on her, and I said “it looks like Olaf”, to which my husband replied...
“I think you mean Toe-laf”.
What was the view of Mt. Rushmore like before it was carved
This morning I asked my wife like a reporter, "The world wants to know, what it's like being married to the funniest man alive?"
She said, "Meh."
So I immediately said, "You heard it here, folks, it's a meh zing."
What sounds like a sneeze, and it's made of leather?
We took a test to find out what cheese we were and she does it dirty like this.
While my kids were colouring with markers I fell asleep on the couch. The little buggers thought it would be funny to draw all over my face to make me look like "the devil". I woke up and went to the grocery store to do our weekly shopping & didn't realise what had happened until I got home.
What do two people have when they both like to boil leaves in water, add milk, and put it into the freezer?
A man walks into a doctors office. “What seems to be the problem?” Asks the doc. “It’s... um... well... i have five penises.” Replies the man. “Blimey!” Says the doctor, “how do your trousers fit?” “Like a glove.”
When it comes to what I like most about dad jokes, I will say this:
What was it like being surrounded by all those guards and prisoners?
Well there were pros and cons.
I hate it when people ask me,”what do you think the future is going to be like?”
We were about to witness our first autopsy in medical school. My friend said, “What do you think it’ll be like?”
I said, “Remains to be seen.”
If there were another country like America, what would it be called?
What does a 737-800 sound like when it bounces during touch down?
If you ever wonder what its like to work at a power station
All that I can say is that the atmosphere is absolutely electrifying.
What was it like to see the very first newspaper?
What looks like an apple, smells like an apple, tastes like an apple but you should never eat it?
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
I asked my friend what it was like to learn Braille, but he won’t tell me.
It seems like a touchy subject.
Now that we’ve discussed “why the chicken has crossed the road”, what does it look like?
I asked my Dad what it was like to learn Braille for the first tine, but he didn’t want to talk about it.
It must be a touchy subject.
What's that smell? It smells like sweat and Old Spice.
But that's just my two scents.
what is six inches long with a head on it ,that women like to blow?
I have always wondered what it would be like to use a professional telescope.
I’m thinking of looking into it.
What do you call a patient that handles their physical therapy like it’s a cake walk?
I told the timing joke to my family and they were all like "What?" "I don't get it".
What starts with "P" and ends in "orn", and most men like it?
What does a porcupine do to someone it doesn't like?
I happen to have a pet Raven. Sometimes he's good, sometimes he's a total jerk. If I had to say something about what it's like owning one
I'd say it's got it's crows and caws.
He wants to know what it's like to never see his partner again.
Guess that makes him bye-curious.
A man walks up to a windmill and asks it what kind of music it likes
The windmill replies: "I'm a big metal fan"
Dad: “my new MacBook smells funny.” Son: “what does it smell like?!”
Switch: What does it feel like when I turn you off?
Lamp: I don't light to think about it.
What weighs 1000 grams, smells like cheese and flaps its wings ferociously to stay in one place?
What has a handle and looks like it just saw a ghost?
What does it taste like when you go down on an old lady?
What’s it called when your burps taste like mice?
Someone once asked me what it's like working at a home improvement store
I said that it had its highs and its Lowes
What's the name of that dog that likes to eat other dogs? Oh thats right, it's the...
What sounds like it smells?
As a pregnant woman, I find it hard to describe the almost magical feeling of what it's like when the baby kicks.
It's almost like an in the body experience
My kid asked the bathtub, "What's it like being a bathtub?"
It said, it's kind of draining.
At home my father desses like my mother and my mother dresses like my father, this is what it looks like.
What is it like to see a beautiful person stand on a scale?
Political pun: What does it look like when a government contractor flies the coop?
What it's really like to be a Norse God
At first it is fun and everybody is happy. But Loki, it's a lot of work and will end up being a Thor in the side.
Want to know what it's like to live in Oklahoma?
"I wonder what it would be like to live under water..."
"I wonder what it would be like to live under water..." said my girlfriend on our way to see Finding Dory, to which I responded with "I don't know, but I bet you'd be under a lot of pressure."
She hung her head in shame because she knew my entire family would soon hear about this.
My brother was talking about what it would be like adding cannabis to our family barbecue.
What is it like at a Mexican jail?
I don't know, I've never been to juan.
"Hey dad, what's it like having a super buff son?"
"I don't know, ask your grandma."
I've been an actual father for thirty years and at least one of the three at least once or twice a season still asks me what it's like out.
Is it nice out?
It's so nice out I almost left it out.
Is it cold out?
I don't know. The temperature is so low I couldn't take it out.
Is it hot out?
I don't know. Ask your mom.
It was the first sunny day in what felt like forever...
Brother: Thank god, finally, I thought I was going to die without the 'sun.'
Dad: look of defeat on his face, proceeds to look at my brother
I wish I could say the same.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
My son asked me what it was like being married...
So I asked him to leave me alone and when he did I demanded to know why he was ignoring me!
I hate it when people ask me what my life will be like in a year
It's not like I have 2020 vision
When it comes to what I like most about dad jokes, I will say this:
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