When I was younger, everyone had a wristwatch. Nowadays, almost no one wears one.
Do thieves wear sneakers?
I noticed my wife and kids were wearing vests so I put one on just so I could say "vest day ever" like a million times.
Then I took it off just so I could mention that I wasn't as invested as they were.
What do you call a guy who wears vests and is interested in the stock market?
What shoes do kidnappers wear?
What does peanut butter wear to bed?
What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots?
Yesterday a man was seen in my town wearing only his boxers.
He led the local police on a brief chase.
what kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
Why did the spider hate wearing pants?
The fly kept getting stuck.
What does a mermaid wear to math class
What's the favorite chip of people who only wear flip flops?
An officer pulled me over and said, "Sir, you are required by law to wear corrective lenses. Failing to do so is a misdemeanor."
"Wow," I responded, "that's a big word for a fuzzy blob."
Why don’t bears wear shoes?
What’s the use, they’d still have bear feet!
I know another un-bearable joke
I walked into a bar wearing a safety helmet and carrying a pickaxe.
The bartender told me "Get out! We don't serve miners!"
After 31 years of marriage, I still wear the pants in my family...
My wife just tells me which pants I can wear.
Did you hear about the turban-wearing rapper?
He was laying down some Sikh beats.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses?
Why Do Mermaids Wear Seashell Bras?
Because they out-grew their B-Shells.
I got my girlfriend a watch for her birthday, but today I found out that she still wears the watch her ex got her
I can’t believe she’s been two timing me
My ex left me because of the clothes I was wearing
I told her I could change!
What is a horse's favorite thing to wear?
I always wondered why golfers wear 2 pair of socks
Turn's out it's incase they get a hole in one
What kind of pants does Groot wear from the MCU?
What do lawyers wear to work?
Saw a guy wearing a camouflage hat...
and I thought to myself, where's his head at?
what happens when you wear a snowsuit indoors?
how do you wear a boat as a hat?
You turn it over so it's capsized
what kind of shorts do clouds wear?
I didn't know what to wear to the Sperm Bank...
So I just came in my pants
During this heatwave, I think it’s a good idea to wear two different deodorants… one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents
I once met a very passionate tailor whose clothing brought every single customer immense joy and when they wear it.
When asked how he makes such wonderful products for his customers, he replied, “It’s very costly. For each order, I have to devote my life to mastering the craft and sacrifice the freedom to do anything else I want in my career.”
That is how I came to understand that the tailor gives his life and liberty per suit of happiness.
Everyone in my neighbourhood wears woolen jumpers that are a size too small for them....
We are a very tight knit community.
What kind of clothing does a female psychologist wear?
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
What should an attorney always wear to court?
What marine animal wears a red jacket and a sequined glove on its flipper?
What kind of hat did King David wear?
Why did the witch refuse to wear a flat hat?
>!Because there was no point to it.!< Joke in honor of Hocus Pocus 2🧙🏻♀️
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
What does a lawyer wear to court?
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