My son has recently taken up an interest in music. We're constantly going back and forth trying to stump the other with trivia. He thought he had me when he chorused, "Hey, dad, what genre are national anthems?!" I laughed, "That's easy!"
We’re you aware that the NFL has a rule on professional athletes and the animals they can own as pets? They are prohibited from owning a duck as a pet!
My 8yo asks, “Daddy, are we antidisestablishmentarian?”
I answered, “No, no we’re not.”
“Then does that make us disantidisestablishmentarian?”
Bruce Springsteen: Baby, we are born to run!
Bruce Springsadult: Let’s just take a cab.
A family is flying to Japan on vacation. The son ask "dad, are we there yet" the dad replies "not yet son"
A few hours later the plane lands in japan. The dad looks at his son and says "okinawa here"
No more Suez Canal jokes! SERIOUSLY! We are considering litigation. Apparently some guy named Ezra keeps posting those jokes...
...and if I can’t sue Ez, can Al?
Son: Dad, are we pyromaniacs?
2000’s kids are generation Z and 80’s-90’s kids are generation Y, if we keep going back we get to generation U.
If you have wine from that time is it genuine?
My wife and I are making some artwork in the name of our favourite Bon Jovi song. So far we have the words "Livin' on".
Tae Kwon Donkey (The Ass that kicks back) And Crab Maga (The Krav Maga crab that doesn’t just talk crab, he backs it up). Figured this community of punsters would appreciate the universe we are creating on Patreon.
reddit.com/gallery/lgzbtq
Ducks are taller than we think.
They're just ducking around.
Why do we stand up when we are cold?
Are we going to talk about this oar what?
we are certainly in a pickle
True story: So we were out today and sat at a table for some food. My 4yo asked what the holes and and notches were in the wood and my wife says “they are knot holes”.
Miss4 says “if they are not holes, what are they?”
'Dad, are we pyromaniacs?'
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
Are we playing peekaboo in a hospital?
Saw this on r/unexpected, thought it was funny so here we are :) I’ll be sure to add the link to the OG post in the comments incase you wanna see it
Whether you are Democrat or Republican, I think we can all agree on one thing.
The election results have been un-presidented.
Doctor: Here is your newborn baby but we are sorry that your wife didn’t make it
Me: Please bring me the one my wife made
Sign at NASA Cafeteria:. We are go for Lunch
I got an email from Google saying "At Google Earth, we are able to read maps backwards!" and I thought;
How do we know all ants are girls?
Because if they were boys and we’d call them uncles.
We are so happy to finally be rid of 2020
But next year will be 2022
(Inspired by the latest joke I read here by u/callingYouForMoney )
My next door neighbor and I are good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
We are putting away our unused Christmas gift wrap materials, and my son casually comments
“They’re going to be napping papers”
Why are we calling her Barbie...
When we can call her chick-ken?
Turkey walks into a bar. The bartender looks a little confused and asks "who are you?" Turkey replied "I'm a wild turkey." Bartender replied "oh we have a drink named after you!"
Turkey says "blulululu awesome, bring me a Kevin!"
How do we know that women are attracted to corny jokes?
Because otherwise we wouldn't call them 'dad' jokes.
Of course, french fries are far too posh for us, we only do chips!
We are doing a jigsaw puzzle of the human anatomy, and I hid the upper arm.
Nobody else finds this humerus.
Interviewer: We only hire people who are responsible.
Me: Well, your search ends today.
At my previous job, whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.
Son: Dad, are we pyromaniacs?
Bruce Springsteen: Baby we are born to run.
Bruce Springsadult: let’s just take a cab.
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