My psychiatrist and psychologist are considered that I might have been raped as a child, but don’t remember it since my father has done other unspeakable stuff to me. I have dissociative disorder and ptsd that’s why I might not remember it, just thinking about that procedure makes me hard to breath and freak out, I’m afraid my hmmm that place will just shut close and not let anything inside, please any advice? I’m panicking
Hey y’all. I (24F) got an internal ultrasound (fancy name Vaginal ultrasonography) done about two weeks ago to check for cysts. I have them, but that’s not the issue. The doctor saw something else, but first a backstory.
I had a sucky doctor for about two years that didn’t really inform me what exactly was going on with my HPV and abnormal cells in my body. I am on Medicaid so I was afraid to leave that doctor because it took me forever to find one that would take me in the first place. Well, after my last pap in July I got high grade results back again even though I have had cryotherapy and a LEEP procedure done within the last year. He told me I need to get the opinion of an oncologist (me being ignorant I didn’t know what he meant by that so I just went to my grad school’s GYN clinic).
Fast forward to now I got an ultrasound done and the doctor was really concerned that they hadn’t ordered another colposcopy for me. Things on the ultrasound looked bad and you could physically see the changes in my cervix and moving up inside my cervix. My cervix was also dilated like I was about to give birth. I asked her straight up if she thought I have cancer (i asked her to be honest with me after my bad experience with my last doctor not being forthcoming with info) and she said “possibly based on what I see here.”
She of course ordered a colposcopy to get a diagnosis but I am really scared. Has anyone’s progressed this fast before? Next year will be 3 years with HPV 16. My old doctor said I had an “aggressive case” but still never ordered another colposcopy.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”
“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.
Mentos
(I will see myself out)
The doctor says it terminal.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.
Gender is fluid.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
But let me give it a shot.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
He’s the new temp.
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Amy
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
My psychiatrist and psychologist are considered that I might have been raped as a child, but don’t remember it since my father has done other unspeakable stuff to me. I have dissociative disorder and ptsd that’s why I might not remember it, just thinking about that procedure makes me hard to breath and freak out, I’m afraid my hmmm that place will just shut close and not let anything inside, please any advice? I’m panicking
