I couldn't decide on which side of the road I wanted to use my loom. On the northbound side the southbound side looked better. And upon crossing to the southbound side, the northbound side looked better. The cops soon arrested me for operating under the influence.

They said I was weaving all over the road.

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📅︎ Aug 30 2020
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What do you call an educator under the influence?

A high school teacher

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/hutimuti
📅︎ Jul 11 2016
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What do you call a multilingual under the influence?

Rosetta stoned

👍︎ 10
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📅︎ Apr 10 2019
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The driver was charged by police for driving taxi under influence of alcohol.

Police said he was intaxicated

👍︎ 8
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📅︎ Jan 28 2019
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You can actually do calculus under the influence

you just need to know your limits.

👍︎ 80
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📅︎ Jun 14 2013
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An evil wizard..

There was an evil wizard who hated mathematics. One day he decided that he would end math once and for all, by capturing the 10 digits, and locking the away forever in his secret prison. So he cast his spell, and all the digits, from 0 to 9 were under his influence. He put them in his magic sack and rode off to the prison. When he reached the prison, he opened the sack. To his horror, there were not 10, but 9 digits there. After searching thoroughly he realized that...it was the 1 that got away.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/kickypie
📅︎ Nov 29 2019
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