Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It went down the road and turned into a field
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︎ Jan 02 2022
As told by a 4 year old... What has 4 wheels and flies?
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︎ Nov 30 2021
pro tractor
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︎ Jul 29 2021
The two genders
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︎ Dec 27 2021
A little boy came running up to me and said, "Please help, my dad is in a fight!" I followed him and came across two men fighting, so I asked him, "Which one's your dad?!" He replied, "I don't know."
"That's what they're fighting about."
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︎ Jan 07 2022
I used to date a woman in a wheel chair.
We broke up. She got tired of me pushing her around.
Though she never stood up for herself.
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︎ Nov 30 2021
OMG, the commute home was awful last night! Ya see, a tractor trailer carry laundry detergent crashed and spilled detergent all over all four lanes...
Traffic was Tide up for hours.
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︎ Aug 04 2021
Vin Diesel eats two meals a day
Breakfast and breakfurious
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︎ Jan 07 2022
To the man in the wheel chair that stole my camouflage jacket
You can hide, but you canβt run.
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︎ Jan 14 2022
I saw two snow plows parked next to each other down the street while their drivers had a quick chat.
I told my wife they were having a plow-wow.
Barely a chuckle. sigh
My sons are three and one so they had no idea what I was talking about.
Had to share with some other fellow dad joke enthusiasts.
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︎ Dec 30 2021
The guy who invented the Ferris wheel never met the guy who invented the merry-go-round.
They travelled in different circles.
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︎ Oct 26 2021
What starts with M, ends with E and can bring two people eternal happiness?
Me...
I'm a divorce lawyer.
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︎ Nov 18 2021
How was Rome split in two?
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︎ Jan 04 2022
What do you call Alex standing between two wheels?
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︎ May 18 2021
Why don't French people ever eat two eggs for breakfast?
Because one egg is un Εuf
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︎ Nov 18 2021
What fish is made out of two sodium atoms?
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︎ Dec 16 2021
Two men walk into a bar
You'd think the second one would have seen it.
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︎ Dec 18 2021
A man in my town has been stealing the wheels off of cop cars
The police have been working tirelessly to catch him
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︎ Nov 04 2021
My five year old is full of em. What do you call two birds that are stuck together?
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︎ Dec 12 2021
what do you call two crows sitting on a fence?
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︎ Jan 16 2022
I keep dreaming of turning into a wheel.
And honestly I'm TIRED of it.
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︎ Dec 30 2021
Why was the tractor thief not pledged guilty?
He was just trying to de-fendt the farmer
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︎ Oct 04 2021
At breakfast, my dad put a pineapple and a banana on the table and said, 'You have two options of fruits today -
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︎ Dec 03 2021
Man who loved tractors
Heard this one years ago. Not OC
There's a man who loves tractors. Has tractor bed sheets tractor wallpaper. He loves them.
One day his wife says his obsession is getting in the way of their relationship so he is given an ultimatum. Either the tractor stuff goes or she does.
He takes a long walk to think it over and eventually decides to get rid of the tractor stuff.
A few years later he is walking down the road when he sees a building on fire and people still inside screaming from the windows. He runs up to the letterbox. Puts his mouth over the letterbox and sucks out all the bad fumes.
After the people were saved the fireman asks him how he saved all the people inside.
The man replies: I'm an ex tractor fan
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︎ Aug 06 2021
A Tractor company broke up with me a while back
The cowards sent a John Deere letter
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︎ Aug 27 2021
How do you get a country girls attention?
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︎ Jan 18 2022
I ate two pieces of string the other day and they came out tied together...
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︎ Jan 16 2022
I ate at a sketchy German restaurant and had the runs for two days.
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︎ Jan 09 2022
Two atoms are sitting at a bar...
Atom 1: Oh, no! I dropped an electron!
Atom 2: Wait, are you sure??
Atom 1: I'm positive!
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︎ Jan 10 2022
two planks of wood were sitting on a couch
One said "can we do somthing, I'm board"
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︎ Jan 17 2022
I just stopped at a gas station to get some air for my tires. Two dollars! For air! I canβt believe it, I remember when it was 50cents! I remember when it was free!
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︎ Nov 26 2021
Asleep at the wheel
An artist walks into a bar and orders the darkest coffee available. "Did you hear that Bob fell asleep at the wheel again?" he asks the bartender. "Again? No! What happened?" the bartender asks. "There was clay EVERYWHERE," the artist replies.
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︎ Dec 30 2021
My 5th graderβs joke today: Two friends walked into a store (she meant βbarβ but she knows sheβs too young to patron a bar), and the 1st friend βIβll take an H2O!β. The 2nd friend says βIβll take an H2O, too!β And the 2nd friend died. Why?
Because H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide and itβs toxic!!
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︎ Jan 04 2022
The teacher asked Little Jimmy, βif I give you 4 cats today and 2 more tomorrow, how many cats will you have?β Little Jimmy said, βSevenβ The teacher said, βno Jimmy, four plus two equals six. Why did you say seven? Little Jimmy said,
βBecause I already have a cat.β
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︎ Nov 27 2021
What do the girl tractor say to the boy tractor?
Get a little closer John Deer
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︎ Sep 01 2021
Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
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︎ Oct 27 2021
What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor?
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︎ Sep 03 2021
How do two arsonists hook up?
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︎ Nov 25 2021
So there this kid that really loves tractors...
He has tractors books and toys,tractor wallpaper and pajamas, a tractor lunchbox, you name it.
The kids ambition when he grows up is to drive a tractor.
A few years later and the kid is old enough to drive a tractor for the first time,ends up falling out and breaking his leg. This puts him off tractors for good.
A while later he is out in town and hears screams, "help" comes the screams, "that building is burning,there are people trapped inside,they could die of smoke inhalation" The kid goes up to the building,opens a window and cups his hand like a straw. In one breath he sucks all the smoke out and saves the day.
How did you do that asks the crowd watching,that's superhuman. Oh that's nothing says the kid, I am an ex tractor fan!!!
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︎ Aug 09 2021
What happened to the magic tractor?
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︎ Jan 15 2022
What has four wheels and flies?
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︎ Jan 02 2022
Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?
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︎ Sep 15 2021
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It drove down then road and turned in to a field!
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︎ Sep 09 2021
What has four wheels and flies?
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︎ Jan 03 2022
What has 4 wheels and flies?
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︎ Oct 29 2021
Have you heard the story of the magic tractor?
It went down a road and turned into field.
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︎ Sep 21 2021
A man in the area has been stealing the wheels off of police cars...
The cops have been working tirelessly to catch him
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︎ Dec 02 2021
How do you get a country girlβs attention?
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︎ Dec 03 2021
The commute home was awful last night! A tractor trailer that carried laundry detergent crashed and spilled detergent all over all four lanes...
Traffic was Tide up for hours.
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︎ Aug 05 2021
What has two wheels and flies?
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︎ Oct 08 2020
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