I saw a girl dressed as Snow White working at a shopping centre in our town.

She was the fairest of the mall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2022
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*Passes town cemetery* β€œWell, it looks like we’ve reached the dead centre of town”
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zac_george
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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Centre of town

My boyfriend and I were walking through town and as we were walking past a cemetery he turned to me and said... Him:"Do you know what that is?" Me: "What?" Him:"The dead centre of town."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bindi_irwan_fan01
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2015
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What's the most popular place on earth ?!

The graveyard cuz people are dying to get there

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artemis369_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2022
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I know this grave yard that's so good...

People are dying to get in!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parpooops
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2022
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Did you know that no one living in this town is allowed to be buried in the local cemetery?

You have to be dead to be buried there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Simple-Bar1253
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2022
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There was a clothing art exhibit in my town's shopping centre. Someone made a pyramid of jeans. Pure artistic jean-ious if you ask me.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paskill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2013
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The other day, i felt quite uncomfortable driving into the cemetery..

The GPS blurted out, "you have reached your final destination"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnimatorNr1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2022
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I was asked to build a graveyard like a maze

Now people keep finding dead ends.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2022
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4 best dadjokes when driving past a cemetery:

4 best dadjokes when driving past a cemetery:

  1. That’s the dead centre of town. 2. People are dying to get in there. 3. A man tried to sell me a coffin there today; I told him that’s the last thing I need! 4. Actually, the man who invented the crossword is buried there… his grave is 5 down & 7 across!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayGun381937
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2022
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Can you name 3 places in Scotland that are also the names of Grand Prix winning racing drivers?
  1. (Lewis) Hamilton

  2. Stirling (Moss)

  3. Ayr Town Centre!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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More Cemetery jokes needed

Drove past a cemetery today. Kid in back seat, wife in front. I said "Look! people are dying to get in there". Then, " that is the dead centre of town "... & as always " the Council says you cannot be buried there if you live within 5 miles of that cemetery" Wife stated .... " you need new cemetery jokes".

Help!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnonE_Mouse1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2015
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My father is a goldmine of 'dad-jokes' here's a taster.

My mum and dad had separated by this point and he was picking me up from the town centre where I was with a girl I was seeing, named Jenni. After introducing herself my father paused for a second, let out a slight smirk and replied "What, from the block?" slapped his thigh and let out a hearty dad-chuckle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfernusConsurget
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2013
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Every time my dad passes a graveyard/cemetary

"Did you know we're driving by the dead centre of town?"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TorpidCat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2013
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My Dad caught me with this one today

I was traveling with my Dad today in the car when we passed the funeral directors; it's the dead centre of the town!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Omega_Sunblade
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2015
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Driving past a cemetery.

We were driving past a cemetery in a new town, and my Dad points to it and says: " that's the dead centre of town"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sexydrapes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2014
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"We're just driving past the cemetery..."

I guess we're in the dead centre of town.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hazelbrown
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2016
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Driving past the Cemetary

Hey kids, look, it's the dead centre of town, people are just dying to get in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crazy_John
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
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Where is the cemetery?

Dad comes into my room all nonchalant...

Dad: do you know where the cemetery is?

Me: no, I don't. Where is it?

Dad: the dead centre of town

Leaves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adambrabbin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
🚨︎ report

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