Totally Pauly Puns

Is it because there’s a maximum of two electrons in a sub shell, hence why the 2 is at the front?

On the Big Brother live feeds Cody (Paulie's brother) said that he boycotted watching Total Madness because Paulie was supposed to be on it but "some shit went down". He said that Paulie was doing all of the preliminary stuff, going through all the steps to get on, and then "some shit went down and I don't really wanna talk--" and then the feeds cut to a different camera

I mean ask me, marriage and our thing don’t jive. But if the situation did arise, I wish Paulie would be best man, fuck, if he could even be the priest. That’d be perfect

I think this is my favorite line uttered in the entire show.

in a world where Jersey Shore was not a thing - what do you think the castmates would be doing now as careers?

In your opinion, who from the Jersey Shore has changed their appearance the most from 2009 - TODAY? I know that some of you will instantly think JENNI right off the bat, but before you do that I would really go back and do before and afters and some of them and really see some of the changes made. I did and I am like damn! Some of them have no twinkle left of their original self.

JENNI- I look back on her old pics and she had a baby face. I feel if homegirl just stuck to practicing really great skincare and maybe in-office low maintenance treatments for skin- she probably would be one of the youngest looking and most stunning women out of the Jersey Shore franchise. But No, for whatever reason she was disillusioned and went the total opposite way. She looked so young. She was 26 when she was engaged to Roger, Season 6 ending Jersey Shore and that's when her face started really changing. 26! She started sooner too. But she went over board with botox and fillers and she just updates it every so often that to me- it has AGED her- Has made her look matronly- 15- 20 years older. She has lost that youthful aura about her that she had even though she was trashy, lol. Like I said all she needed was some great skincare, maybe a laser treatment. Not nip and tucks, I'm not sure what else she did- I think a nose job? But the other day I saw an article and they put a recent picture of Jenni and I got Janice Dickinson vibe. It scared me. You google Janice Dickinson and see how GORGEOUS she was when she young.... but then she got addicted to plastic surgery and it's... unfortunate. I feel like that is Jenni's path if she doesn't stop. I wish she would dissolve everything in her face. She doesn't slather herself in bronzer anymore either. She's upped her boob game but she's always had those. Her lips have gotten bigger. That's my opinion.

NICOLE SNOOKS- You see a before and after and she looks totally different as well. She hasn't gone nearly as far will fillers and botox. But I will say a lot of differences originally in her face I feel had to do with her major weight loss. Remember in the beginning she was a bit overweight. That changed her face and body so much. I will say growing out and shaping their brows and the way they do their makeup has totally changed the girls face too. I notice Snooki doesn't wear those totally fluttery and long eyelashes anymore , in fact a lot of times I barely see her wear any type of eyelash which totally changed her eye. She quit bro

Paulie having a total meltdown about covid and insisting on spraying down people with lysol as they walk into the back room of the bing.
AJ hopelessly simping to a streamer and spending thousands of dollars in donations on her, silvio hearing about this and converting part of the bing into hosting streamers to get into that market (would be a good way to help expose the fact that organized crime does some pretty evil shit with "streamer farms" now)

a video from a passerby of tony ranting in public going viral, with tony's kids having to deal with him being a meme

Thinking about Pauly’s decision to ride solo on the first season and also his actions afterwards, it’s actually making more sense to me.

Pauly was totally into Nikki from their initial interaction and then of course as the season progressed, he started hearing a lot of negative things about Nikki including things Nikki revealed herself. For instance, her longest relationship only being 6 months, also the lie detector test where she came across as pretty extreme with her feelings for him. I’m sure he loved it but it was still a dose of reality. Then taking into account the way Nikki displayed her emotions and how others perceived them, it wasn’t a good look. He did tell her that she was his type, but he has chosen wrong in the past and he didn’t want to make that mistake again.

Nikki, on the surface, did have a lot of red flags so it made sense that, although it may have been driven by production, he and Nikki did not work out in the beginning.. That’s because of two factors, Nikki is very much a person that is open with her emotions and for her to be so forthcoming in that type of show was off putting to most people especially the man that was the recipient of them. Also, Pauly was freaked out by them, but receptive at the same time because he enjoyed the attention and was experiencing a similar level intensity. He liked that she felt the way she did, but he has said before that he’s going to stop ignoring the red flags and do what he feels is best for him, which is what he did regarding riding solo and even after he reached out to her afterwards, he still put a halt to the relationship again probably because of perceived red flags.

I think, of course, he still had feelings for her going into season 2, but I understand why he wanted to take it slow and see if she could handle it without going over the top because he wanted to see if she was willing to not let the intensity of their emotions overtake their actions which would make their situation end badly again.

I get his perspective and as an older man at 40, it makes sense.

I think the second season was necessary for them to actually start on a normal ground where they could actually just exist and see how it goes.

It was obvious they wanted to be together, but it wasn’t obvious they could make it last and that’s why I understand why Pauly acted the way he did.

And now we see how it worked out.

I was tired of seeing her on my tv for a while, skating to the finals, because that girl used to slay eliminations. I think she would’ve been amazing in this type of format and really redeemed the confidence and fight she used to have instead of hiding behind Paulie’s antics. These types of seasons are definitely made for her.

I would have a daughter

The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.

Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.

The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:

"What's sarong with that?"

I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).

His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.

--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)

--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.

18. Inferno 3:

From an entertainment standpoint MTV certainly got their money’s worth. Within 5 hours CT got into it with Kenny and closed Davis’ eye for about a week. This one has to be a tough one to swallow for CT as this was a guarantee win considering the Bad Asses downgraded from Ct to Derrick and still won. Technically CT almost made it to the finals in the form of a black eye on Davis. This would have been CT’s first win.

17. Duel 2:

This gets the nod over Inferno 3 as this time CT at least put a show on for the paying cable customers by removing Adam’s face from his skull. I don’t condone CTs behavior but I kind of enjoyed it, I’m sure that makes me a terrible person. But anytime someone can knock a creep’s block off I’m ok with it. Though this action may have prevented one of the all time most stacked male casts going at it for a solo title. The final 5 potentially could have been Landon, Evan, Mark, Brad, and CT. Would have been epic. But for some reason CT pulling a Mike Tyson and threatening to eat heads probably was worth more for his career in the long run than the 100K or whatever they won that season ironically.

16. Final Reckoning:

A legendary duo fell victim to an absolute shit show of a format. CT gets eliminated without even competing. I’m sure producers were kicking themselves watching Veronica and CT go off to redemption then not even getting a shot to come back. Wonder what that appearance fee cost production.

15.War of The Worlds I:

CT gets the shit end of the stick here with some random Joe Schmo calling him down to a three way elimination. From the early stages we see the classic CT taking a weaker partner under his wing. Not sure Dad Bod CT survives that final. Maybe a blessing in disguise because if he coasted to that final he may very well still be being picked at by vultures in the desert. Im always curious what the rigged complainers say when this stuff happens to people like CT. Must put their minds in pickles.

14.Total Madness:

The season that would eventual create CTs 3rd life in Double Agents, the dude is the real life Wolverine when you think about it. CT dominates a puzzle daily has early control of the game, appears to be aligned with Bananas and Wes or at least on the same side and throws it all away but taking a calculated risk against Jay. This elimination CT should have won but clearly underestimates Jay, and Jay out works and outsmarts him. Without this moment though CT probab

But Bill kept the Windows

True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."

I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"

He responds, "it's dead grass."

I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"

.

.

.

He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.

Season 5 was the first season with a significant time jump of over a year in plot time. That means we were ostrafied from their lives and could only guess how they spent their days (other than reporting to a strip club).

This is my attempt to fill in the gaps of what was apparently unremarkable period of time between seasons 4 and 5. A lot of people say 4 defined the show, but 5 was modernity.

1. “Inheritance Denied” Tony makes a deposit in the cannoli account with the returned Whitecaps deposit; Melfis son suffers a forestry related injury; Minns suite at Green Grove is bid on by Bobby for his downhill sliding mother.

2. “Straight Time” Christopher tries to make amends at the Porsche Audi lot with his former acting class Ithaca grad; Johnny and Ginny suffer humiliation on an Alitalia flight.

3. “Ice Cream” Junior continues to lobby his neighbor for ice cream to no avail; Tony relocates to Livias house after seeing Melfi at her weekly brunch at the plaza with “Jill.”

4. “Living Trust” Cousin Brian must choose between Tony and his cousin Carmella as the separation intensifies, AJ expresses interest in a career in music.

5. “Mr. and Mrs. Soprano Request” Bobby and Janice’s plan to elope becomes a lavish affair at the last minute that Artie and Charmaine are forced to cater at the Soprano home. Tony consults with divorce attorneys.

6. “Mobile Phone” During a Sunday dinner Tony uses a cell phone to call Italy to threaten Furios life.

7. “Home Improvement” Christopher hijacks a LazyBoy truck to help refurbish Tony’s new home, putting Adriana in hot water with Robin; Meadow and Finn announce plans to cohabitate.

8. “The Chase” Christopher and Silvio go searching for a missing piece of sports memorabilia; Tony purchases an Escalade and removes the GPS with the help of Angie who he prudently installs at Pussys body shop.

9. “Nowhere to Go” AJ has a fight with Devin over his viewing a new website called Blastbus, Tony invites Paulie over to watch a movie and immediately despairs

10. “Rose Hips” Carmella seeks companionship with the florist who catered Janice’s wedding, only to discover that he’s light in the Timberlands.

11. “Total Fucking Apocalypse” Silvio takes Tony to redo his wardrobe after a truck of hammock sized hot sauce shirts comes in; Johnny Sack receives word that someone named Phil Leotardo only has 50 grilled cheeses to go before joining his crew.

12. “Mother Mary” Carmella seeks spiritual guidance through Opus De

10. Final Reckoning- A complete mess of a season. Everything from the equalizers, random purges, the burn voting for Armageddon, the cliffhanger episodes, the Redemption House, the "mercenaries", the grenades in the final, the fact that a team eliminated in episode 2 spent weeks in the Redemption House and made it to the final shows how poorly though-out the format was. In the end Ashley won after giving up in several daily challenges. People also seem to forget that all season she was just as nasty towards Hunter as he was to her.

11. Rivals 3- Horrendous cast. Several episodes did not have an elimination round. The black skull twist was really dumb. Bananas and Vince were complete douchbags to the women. A team elininated in episode 1 was brought back for no reason, only to make it to the final because they were lucky to not pull a black skull. The whole season was anticlimactic, as the only teams that stood a chance at beating Bananas & Sarah (Leroy & Averey/ Tony & Camila) were sent home as a result of injury/fighting. The steal the money twist was really cruel.

12. Dirty 30- The daily challenges did not work well with the format. Random purges, inconsistent number of players during redemption challenges. Because the rules kept changing most players did not want to make big moves. In the end the two contestants with the worst attitude ended up winning. Camila after her racist tirade against Leroy and Nelson, and Jordan after insulting most of the women and saying that Jemmye had a "Down Syndrome face". Absolutely disgusting.

13. Total Madness- The red skull twist defeated the purpose of winning daily challenges. At a certain point it was better to throw the daily and then convince everyone to vote you in directly, which is exactly what Bananas did, because winning the daily meant that the other guy in the Tribunal could take your place in the elimination. The re-editing of the last 6 episodes hurt many of the storylines. Also, the final was really boring to watch.

14. Bloodlines- Weak cast. Really bad format. During the 2-team portion of the season the Blue Team threw every challenge because it was beneficial to do so. This season is redeemed by above-average elimination rounds, a great final, and Abe's presence.

15. War of the Worlds 2- Winning the daily challenges was pointless. All that mattered was who had the numbers to be in the Tribunal. After Theo & Georgia got eliminated all the remaining players were very unlikeable (except CT

No it doesn't.

Now it’s syncing.

He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"

She said how do you know he was headed to work?

I will find you. You have my Word.

“thank you for your cervix.”

Made me smile

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

But now I stand corrected.

Does anyone else have names that they love when spelled one way but hate when spelled another way? I love the name Polly but hate Paulie and Pollie. I love the name Jane but hate Jayne. I love Anne but don’t like Ann. All perfectly reasonable names but I can hear a difference when I say them.

Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.

Challenge 1999: Beth, Janet, Jason, Montana, Nathan and Neil

Challenge 2000: Amaya, David, Heather, Kat, Mike L and Teck

Extreme Challenge: Christian, Emily B, James, Laterrian, Michelle and Susie

Battle of the Seasons 2002: Theo V, Dan, Timmy, Holly M, Tara and Emily B (2)

Battle of the Sexes: Ruthie, Ellen and Lori

The Gauntlet: Mike M, Alton, Nathan (2) and Norman

The Inferno: Mike M (2), CT, Syrus and Coral

Battle of the Sexes 2: Coral, Arissa and Sophia

The Inferno II: CT (2), Derrick, Abram, Veronica, Rachel R, Tina and Tonya

The Gauntlet 2: Timmy, David (2) , Mark, Aneesa, Katie, Julie and Robin

Fresh Meat: Kenny & Tina (2)

The Duel: Brad (2) and Svetlana

The Inferno 3: Alton (2), Johnny D, Ace, Susie (2), Cara Z and Paula

The Gauntlet III: CT (3), Kenny (2), Evan, Brad (2), Adam K, Evelyn, Paula (2), Robin and Diem

The Island: Paula (3), Robin, Jenn and Ryan

The Duel II: Brad (3) and Brittini

The Ruins: Sarah R and KellyAnne

Fresh Meat II: Kenny (3) & Laurel

Cutthroat: Laurel (2), Cara M and Luke

Rivals: Kenny (4) & Wes and Laurel (3) and Cara M (2)

Battle of the Exes: CT (4) and Diem (2)

Battle of the Seasons 2012: Dustin & Trishelle

Rivals II: Johnny D (2) & Frank and Cara M (3) & Cooke

Free Agents: Johnny R and Nany

Battle of the Exes II: Leroy & Theresa

Battle of the Bloodlines: Cory & Mitch

Rivals III: Vince & Jenna

Invasion of the Champions: Nelson and Camila

Dirty 30: Derrick (2) and Cara M (4)

Vendettas: Zach

Final Reckoning: Joss & Sylvia

War of the Worlds: Theo C

War of the Worlds 2: Zach (2), Paulie, Cara M (5) and Ninja

Total Madness: Kyle and Kaycee

Double Agents: Cory (2) & Kam

Most Wins

Cara M: 5

CT and Kenny: 4

Laurel, Paula and Brad: 3

And then you will all be sorry.