Top model Puns

I bought a 2004 VW Beetle Turbo a few months ago. While driving down the road, I heard a sort of mechanical shifting sound whenever I went over 45 MPH. I didn't think anything of it at first, but it continued every single time. I finally turned to Google to make sure my car wasn't broken. Found out that the Turbo models have a hidden spoiler at the top of the rear windshield that pops out at high speeds.

Relaying the story to my friend later, I told her, "I guess the dealership should have given me a....spoiler alert."

I visited my girlfriend in Italy, her dad didn't speak much english and I didn't speak much Italian. He's a really big Italian guy, and everytime we ate, my girlfriend would always have a really healthy meal. He would always get up from the table and say "my daughter is TOP model, top model" while spinning around and doing the most girly little dance.

Also everytime money was brought into conversation (he's considerably frugal) he would start kneeling hypothetically and praising the jew god, claiming he was of jewish descent.

Lol.

He's been having some real trouble finding investors willing to back him in an expansion, even though his current business model is doing really well and Sichuanese food is a real hit in the capital.

Apparently it's a long way to the top if you wanna wok in Seoul.