My doctor says I have Tom Jones Disease. I asked "Is it common?"

He said "It's not unusual"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superherofbmx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2022
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I once asked Tom Petty, "What is the most difficult thing about working in a restaurant?"

He said, "The waiting is the hardest part"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/technical_skull
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2022
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Tom Brady is a fungus.

He won't go away but he's a fungi to watch

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nahteviro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2022
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Andrew Garfield, Tobey McGuire and Tom Holland got into an accident upon arriving at a party. /r/Jokes/comments/tlfnm2/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bullsaint
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2022
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Did you hear Tom Cruise is opening a liquor store?

It’s called Whisky Business

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GitShiggles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2022
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What's brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotTheMessiah83
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2022
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Ground Control to Major Tom(cat)…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tessdf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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What did Tom Cruise say when he went to the art museum?

Show me the Monet!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knight-errant52
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2022
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I tried to woo a woman by serenading her with Tom Sawyer.

Unfortunately she didn't want to Rush into a relationship.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2021
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American actor Tom Lester was a great man

But people were not too fond of his cousin Moe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slight_Machine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2022
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What do you call it when Tom Cruise drives your car?

Cruise control.

I mean... Did I really have to write the answer?

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2021
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I went into the barbers today and asked to have my hair cut like Tom Cruise....

He lifted me up and sat me on a cushion...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tintovic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2021
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I met Tom Hanks once. He was so rude

I asked for his autograph and all he wrote was thanks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tUB_of_ICECREAM
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2021
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What does Tom Brady and a sale on corn have in common?

They're both a buck an ear (buccaneer)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justin_Herbert10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2021
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What is Tom Waits favorite song?

Hold on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meaw_machine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2021
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True Story: Tom, Dick & Harry

I am working on the best dad joke of all time, but it is going to take some patience. My wife and I named our first son Thomas. I am slowly trying to convince her to name any future sons Richard and Harold. My ultimate goal is to be able to tell people that I am father to Tom, Dick and Harry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twombsy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2021
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Why is Tom Petty free fallin'?

Because he wouldn't back down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok_Reward2565
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2021
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'Doctor, doctor, I can't stop singing Tom Jones songs, is that normal?'

'It's not unusual.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wookiewithabrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2021
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What would be Tom Cruise's movie called if he loves cartoon?

Mission Kim Possible

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaijisheeran
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2021
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Most people are familiar with Tom Cruise a very well known actor. But not as many people are familiar with his brother Bomb.

He made the navy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mean-Mango-7125
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2021
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So Tom Hanks is going to visit the wind turbine museum in Holland.

Some really big fans there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RatBoyAndTheKid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2021
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What did tom do?

He cruised

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SiD_-_-_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2021
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Tom was sad because his car was stolen.

He can’t Cruise around anymore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2021
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What do Tom Clancy, Bill Belichick, and Harrison Ford all have in common?

They each made millions of dollars off Patriot Games.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CKO1967
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2021
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I’m afraid you have Tom Jones Disease

Don’t worry there are plenty of other people with it, It’s Not Unusual

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2021
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My 6 year old daughter was listening to music with me and came up with this one: What is a bananas favorite Tom Petty song?

You Dont Know How It Peels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemphisMayhem
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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What's the best way to catch a Peeping Tom?

A Booby Trap!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UzrNmChksOut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2021
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Tom used to fix household appliances for a living, and then he studied hard to become a psychiatrist.

He was a repairman, now he repairs men

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πŸ‘€︎ u/halloumisalami
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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I keep forgetting that Tom Petty passed away and it makes me sad

He don’t come around here no more

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theichel24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
In the USA it’s called peeping Tom. In China it’s called peeking Tom. What’s it called in the Arctic?

Tom took a look.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VinneBabarino
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?

One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RockyCrayon6625
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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If Tom Cruise owned a liquor store, what would he call it?

Whiskey Business

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Olaffubbuffalo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...

Close, but no Seger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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Tom Bro Cow
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danarchist
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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Why didn’t Tom Petty like fly fishing?

The wading is the hardest part.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Why are peeping Toms are having a difficult time with the pandemic?

Because it’s very hard for them to lurk from home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Does Tom Cruise look like this?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hicxs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know in Germany the Tom Cruise movie β€˜The Firm’ is the sequel to Die Hard?

Die Firma

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maximumfunpriv
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Frank is fed up with toms puns. Tom was never seen again

β€œI have split personality” said Tom being Frank.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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What's brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones!

I'll show myself out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhraeaXes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LayThatPipe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report

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