My doctor says I have Tom Jones Disease. I asked "Is it common?"
He said "It's not unusual"
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︎ Mar 27 2022
I once asked Tom Petty, "What is the most difficult thing about working in a restaurant?"
He said, "The waiting is the hardest part"
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︎ Mar 12 2022
Tom Brady is a fungus.
He won't go away but he's a fungi to watch
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︎ Mar 14 2022
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︎ Mar 23 2022
Did you hear Tom Cruise is opening a liquor store?
Itβs called Whisky Business
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︎ Mar 12 2022
What's brass and sounds like Tom Jones?
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︎ Mar 09 2022
Ground Control to Major Tom(cat)β¦
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︎ Jan 15 2022
What did Tom Cruise say when he went to the art museum?
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︎ Feb 24 2022
I tried to woo a woman by serenading her with Tom Sawyer.
Unfortunately she didn't want to Rush into a relationship.
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︎ Dec 16 2021
American actor Tom Lester was a great man
But people were not too fond of his cousin Moe.
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︎ Feb 16 2022
What do you call it when Tom Cruise drives your car?
Cruise control.
I mean... Did I really have to write the answer?
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︎ Oct 03 2021
I went into the barbers today and asked to have my hair cut like Tom Cruise....
He lifted me up and sat me on a cushion...
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︎ Dec 18 2021
I met Tom Hanks once. He was so rude
I asked for his autograph and all he wrote was thanks.
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︎ Nov 17 2021
What does Tom Brady and a sale on corn have in common?
They're both a buck an ear (buccaneer)
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︎ Nov 25 2021
What is Tom Waits favorite song?
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︎ Nov 30 2021
True Story: Tom, Dick & Harry
I am working on the best dad joke of all time, but it is going to take some patience. My wife and I named our first son Thomas. I am slowly trying to convince her to name any future sons Richard and Harold. My ultimate goal is to be able to tell people that I am father to Tom, Dick and Harry.
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︎ Oct 13 2021
Why is Tom Petty free fallin'?
Because he wouldn't back down.
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︎ Sep 18 2021
'Doctor, doctor, I can't stop singing Tom Jones songs, is that normal?'
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︎ Oct 20 2021
What would be Tom Cruise's movie called if he loves cartoon?
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︎ Oct 25 2021
Most people are familiar with Tom Cruise a very well known actor. But not as many people are familiar with his brother Bomb.
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︎ Oct 18 2021
So Tom Hanks is going to visit the wind turbine museum in Holland.
Some really big fans there.
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︎ Sep 15 2021
What did tom do?
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︎ Aug 27 2021
Tom was sad because his car was stolen.
He canβt Cruise around anymore.
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︎ Aug 28 2021
What do Tom Clancy, Bill Belichick, and Harrison Ford all have in common?
They each made millions of dollars off Patriot Games.
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︎ Sep 20 2021
Iβm afraid you have Tom Jones Disease
Donβt worry there are plenty of other people with it, Itβs Not Unusual
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︎ Jun 15 2021
My 6 year old daughter was listening to music with me and came up with this one: What is a bananas favorite Tom Petty song?
You Dont Know How It Peels
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︎ Apr 02 2021
What's the best way to catch a Peeping Tom?
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︎ Jul 07 2021
Tom used to fix household appliances for a living, and then he studied hard to become a psychiatrist.
He was a repairman, now he repairs men
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︎ Jun 23 2021
I keep forgetting that Tom Petty passed away and it makes me sad
He donβt come around here no more
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︎ Jan 15 2021
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
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︎ Nov 03 2019
In the USA itβs called peeping Tom. In China itβs called peeking Tom. Whatβs it called in the Arctic?
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︎ Jun 19 2021
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
If Tom Cruise owned a liquor store, what would he call it?
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︎ Sep 01 2020
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. Itβs almost a full Heartland Rock set...
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︎ Jan 18 2021
Tom Bro Cow
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Why didnβt Tom Petty like fly fishing?
The wading is the hardest part.
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︎ Sep 11 2020
Why are peeping Toms are having a difficult time with the pandemic?
Because itβs very hard for them to lurk from home.
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Does Tom Cruise look like this?
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︎ Jul 23 2020
Did you know in Germany the Tom Cruise movie βThe Firmβ is the sequel to Die Hard?
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Frank is fed up with toms puns. Tom was never seen again
βI have split personalityβ said Tom being Frank.
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︎ Jul 04 2020
What's brass and sounds like Tom Jones?
Trombones!
I'll show myself out.
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︎ Jun 15 2021
What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?
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︎ Mar 14 2021
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