My friend doesnβt think puns are funny, so I told him my top ten to see if any could make him laugh.
π︎ 249
π
︎ Sep 19 2019
Pun-ishing rant to those who think puns aren't funny, for them to use as an example.
I wanna punt all the spunky diction pundits, that attempt to expunge the joy from punsters, right in their puny footballs. They're punks who attempt to puncture holes in our word play, finding it punitive to their, self described, punticulously crafted humor. The pungent smell of their looming punishment is in the air . Now is the punctual time to place the punctuation on this punchline.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 22 2018
Some people think puns are derivative, my Aunt & I take them pretty series-ously
95% of conversations between me & my aunt turn into pun wars.
Enjoy!
https://i.imgur.com/aGooknb.jpg
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 30 2017
Just think about a calcu-forth
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
I think joule really likes this joke
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
While at a restaurant, the waitress was totally flirting with me with my wife present. After she walked away, my wife said βShe obviously has COVID!β βWhy would you think that?β I asked.
βBecause she has no taste.β
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
I think my cat is Communist
π︎ 123
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
What does a dad do when he thinks of new jokes?
He tries them on for sighs.
π︎ 187
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
Bruh can't think of a good title
π︎ 81
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
I got a girlfriend by pretending that I play football. My friends don't think it's going to last but I don't worry.
She thinks that I'm a keeper.
π︎ 104
π
︎ Mar 27 2021
Some people think Steve jobs would be a better president than Donald Trump
But you can't really compare apples to oranges.
π︎ 174
π
︎ Mar 18 2021
I Made this today i think it belongs here I couldn't stop laughing while making it π
π︎ 32
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.
She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, βWindow or aisle?β
I laughed in her face and replied, βWindow or youβll what?β
π︎ 20k
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
I think it's time I stopped grinding my own cheese.
π︎ 36
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
Do you think glass coffins will ever be a thing?
π︎ 35
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
I think I killed him..
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
I think Rick Astley should've been the captain of the ship
He wouldn't have Ever Given up.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
I think sex education is a great idea in schools.
I just don't think the kids should be given homework.
π︎ 69
π
︎ Mar 11 2021
My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
π︎ 327
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
π︎ 82
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
My monkey friend says that he can use martial arts to fight off disease. I think he's tricking me and he says
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
Ever stop and think about how your car muffler reduces engine noise?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
You might not think engineers are brave...
But it took balls of steel to make the first bearings.
π︎ 119
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
My wife thinks I don't respect her privacy...
At least that's what her diary says.
π︎ 67
π
︎ Mar 27 2021
A man walks into his doctorβs office and says, βDoctor, I think Iβm addicted to Twitter.β
The doctor looks at him and says, βSorry, I donβt follow you."
π︎ 795
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
What did Newton think when he discovered gravity?
Shit is about to go down.
π︎ 63
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
A priest giving a children's sermon on vestments asked, "Why do you think I wear this collar?"
One kid answered, "Because it kills fleas and ticks for upto 30 days."
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
My wife uses nasal spray a lot, to the point we think she is addicted to it. I tried to send her to rehab, but she didn't like it.
She said it was just a bunch of stuffy people.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
I got tired trying to think of a good posting title for this one.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
I think my sink is a little clogged
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
Bird seed costs $25. Some people think it's expensive.
But I think it's cheep cheep cheep
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
I couldnβt think of any original chemistry jokes
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
Those who think the COVID-19 vaccine will modify their DNA
Should see it as an opportunity
π︎ 84
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids
then it behooves you to become a centaur.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
"Son, do you think we should find an expert to guide us in our trek up Mt. Everest?"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
Some people think grass isn't wet in the morning.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 19 2021
I think my postman is an organ donor.
His truck says, βWe deliver for you.β
π︎ 13
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
Steak puns are difficult to think of...
Its a rare medium well done.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
I... I think imma cry π’
π︎ 104
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
I Think that body positivity is great.
But I'd rather have antibodies
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
I was going to add a pun here but can't think of any right now
π︎ 150
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
what does a pasta have when it thinks its not tasty?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Most think it's the R.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 26 2021
I don't think women should be allowed to have kids after 40
40 kids is way too much by any standard
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
I think my puppy might be a train...
all she does is chew, chew, chew.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
People say I don't think about my actions before I make them
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
How do you think the unthinkable?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
People donβt think the grass be wet in the morning
π︎ 180
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
I think my cat might be a communist.
He just keeps going on about "Mao Mao Mao".
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
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