I was on a roll last night.

My family was having a burger night and I improvised some groaners:

Q - How does it sound when your cousin drives an ambulance?
A - Neeeenaaaaa-neeeeenaaaaa! (There is a cousin called Nina)
Q - How do you know when your cousin is coming to visit?
A - they ring the Issa-belle! (Yip, you guessed it there is a cousin called Issabelle)

Q - What does a dinosaur say to offer you a hot drink?
A - Would you like some tea, Rex? (Hate to over explain and ruin the joke but just in case - Rex )

Then during bathtime:

Q - When a crab goes to jail where do they lock him up?
A - A jail shell. (there was a decorative jar of shells there which I used as a muse for this piece)

Q - How does a daddy cow clean himself at night?
A - In a bub-bull bath. (Just came to me)

Q - What does an astronaut use in the bath?
A - A space cloth. (this one didn't really land but I stand by it)

Q - What do you use to wash your hair in the toilet?
A - Sham-poo (low hanging fruit but this one absolutely killed)

👍︎ 16
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👤︎ u/dat_asthma
📅︎ Oct 13 2019
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Dadjoked a secretary

I was trying to reach a guy with the last name Yip. When I called the front desk, I asked for him, and it went like:

Me: Mr. Yip, please
Her: Ok, Y-I-P?
Me: I don't know, why do you?
Her: ....huh?
Me: Yes, Y-I-P.
Her: Transferring...

I was amused, at least.

👍︎ 105
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📅︎ Apr 16 2014
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