Finland is offering foreign tech workers the chance to relocate to the Nordic country for 90 days to see if they want to make the move permanent.
If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish
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︎ Dec 27 2020
I was in McDonald's and I ask the worker how much for a big mac and fries
She said she didn't know, so I said roughly.
So in a deep voice she said "I DON'T KNOOOOW"
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︎ Jan 09 2021
What did the mill worker say to the thresher?
You're cutting against the grain.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
An old mine shaft collapsed on a bunch of workers the other day.
But itβs okay, they only suffered miner injuries.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Why are leather workers the best kind of crafstmen?
Because they always give it their awl
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Why are the best tech workers found underwater?
Because they're algae-rithms.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
I tried to convince one of my co workers to buy the first round of drinks after our shift...
He said no, but it was worth a shot.
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︎ Oct 23 2020
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Why did the socialist kill all the average workers at his factory?
He wanted to cease the means of production
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Why did the worker wear his nametag upside down?
When he looked down at his nametag, it was the right side up to him.
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︎ Aug 22 2020
My co-worker Nicholas is rarely late for work meetings, but it often shows up within 2 minutes of the meeting start time
I guess he likes to show up in the nick of time.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Did you hear about the near sighted construction worker who lost his glasses?
He really fell into his work.
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︎ Aug 26 2020
I needed to get my locks changed, but all the locksmiths were closed... I thought they were key workers?
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︎ Apr 25 2020
At the company picnic, my co-worker said he had some juicy gossip. He loaded up his plate but tripped on the way to my table...
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︎ Aug 03 2020
Wife (we both live in the US): I have to make sure my work phone is on do not disturb mode before bed so I donβt get email notifications from co-workers in our office in Europe.
Me: Sure, because when they send email, they donβt care if youβre up.
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︎ Jul 30 2020
i got a good one..: how did the non-profit sex worker advertise herself??
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︎ Apr 30 2020
A pregnant co-worker walked into the office the other day. I took a look at her baby bump and said βitβs becoming apparent that youβre becoming a parentβ.
Stay safe everyone and try to keep smiling
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︎ Mar 26 2020
I didn't know the local railroad workers were good at singing
But I heard they were recently working on a new track
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︎ Jan 17 2020
I asked the Wal-Mart worker where I could find the nuts.
"They are all in the toilet paper aisle right now."
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︎ Mar 14 2020
Did you hear about the new dating site that matches women up with construction workers?
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︎ May 05 2020
Why did the soda factory worker quit his job?
It was too much fizzical labor.
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︎ Dec 11 2019
A man walks into the pizza shop and orders a pizza. The worker asked if he wanted it cut into 4 pieces or 6 pieces.
The man said 4 because he probably wasnβt going to eat 6.
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︎ May 19 2020
What did the dragon say to the office worker?
You're fired!
Credit my 9 year old son, flexing being a dad early.
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︎ May 07 2020
I hear the monastery is laying off workers...
All nun essential staff are gone.
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︎ Apr 03 2020
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
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︎ Nov 15 2019
A postal worker was recently fired from his part time job at the zoo.
He refused to address the elephant in the room.
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︎ Mar 09 2020
Why did the workers not comment on the boss' bad breath?
They did not want to step on his hali-toe-sis
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︎ Feb 16 2020
The pharaoh promised workers they would be rich if they bought into his MLM construction plan.
It was the very first pyramid scheme.
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︎ Feb 23 2020
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to Bee productive.
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︎ Feb 13 2020
My co-worker told me The Weekend is coming to Vancouver this year.
I told her the weekend comes to Vancouver every 5 days.
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︎ Feb 27 2020
Alright....time for a classic. The Ceo of Datsun was talking to his other high ranking workers when it had just been founded and said, you have 2 days to come up with a name for our company
The workers in a thick Japanese accent said DAT SOON
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︎ Oct 24 2019
Did you hear about the road worker that was fired for theft?
Nobody saw it coming, but when they got to his house all the signs were there.
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︎ Jul 09 2019
Did you hear about the construction workers that got sick?
Theyβre dealing with it asbestos they can
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︎ Sep 10 2019
I threw a party tor all the workers who helped build my house. The door guy showed up late...
...but he really knew how to make an
entrance.
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︎ Sep 19 2019
An accident at the local miniature horse factory caused a tiny horse to get stuck on a worker's rectum.
Doctors describe his condition as(s) stable.
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︎ Sep 11 2019
Why do sewage plant workers take a bag of turds home at the end of every month?
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︎ May 14 2019
A worker tells his boss about a great idea. The boss says "let me think about it" then pulls a bad 80's wig from his desk and puts it on. The worker asks "what's that for?"
The boss says "I need to mull-it over..."
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︎ Nov 12 2019
I saw a strange picket line on the way home today. The workers were carrying signs saying "WE MAKE TOO MUCH MONEYβ
Then I noticed they were outside the mint.
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︎ Oct 13 2019
What did the forklift operator do with the worker's whiskey?
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︎ Sep 02 2019
A man recently immigrated to a new land were he doesnβt speak the language. His fellow workers take him to lunch everyday. One of them teaches him to order Apple Pie and Coffee for himself. For weeks, this is all he orders.
Morning, Apple Pie and Coffee. Noon, Apple Pie and Coffee. Night, Apple Pie and Coffee. Getting tired of this same meal, he asks his coworkers to teach him a new dish to order. He learns Steak and Eggs.
Waitress: Hiya honβ, Apple Pie and Coffee as usual?
Man (smiling proudly): Steak and Eggs!
Waitress: Oh! Changing it up to day! How would you like your eggs? Scrambled, sunny side up, poached, fried? How would you like your steak? Rare, medium rare, medium, medium well, well?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Man: ... Apple Pie and Coffee.
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︎ Dec 26 2018
I met a lab worker the other day...
He has a degree in dog kibble
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︎ May 11 2019
My co-worker brags about bringing in the largest waffle to the office every morning. He won't let us forget it.
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︎ Aug 20 2019
What did they do when they caught the worker stealing office supplies?
They sent him to the PENitentiary
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︎ Sep 03 2019
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
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︎ Nov 04 2019
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
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︎ Nov 07 2019
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
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︎ Nov 09 2019
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
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︎ Nov 15 2019
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