The Tube Puns

A list of puns related to "The Tube"

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake I gave her a tube of Super Glue.

It’s been a week now and she’s still not talking to me.

👍︎ 41
💬︎
👤︎ u/joachim_s
📅︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend tried to get me to join his MLM scheme of selling devices for establishing a horizontal line by means of a bubble in a liquid that shows adjustment to the horizontal by movement to the center of a glass tube...

It'd make cents off so many levels.

/edit:rephrased punchline

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Archimedes was sat around thinking of names for the fluid expulsion tube in the human body. Suddenly, he knew the perfect name, stood up, and shouted-

"URETHRA!"

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/wolfyfancylads
📅︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The headline writer for this article had waited years for this moment. Though it is rumoured his final idea came to him on the tube... bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england…
👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/NormalThumbsHideWell
📅︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I made the mistake of drinking the liquid from a scientist’s test tube.

It was a vial substance.

👍︎ 59
💬︎
👤︎ u/FinalCaveat
📅︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the advantage to being a test tube baby?

You get a womb with a view.

👍︎ 11
💬︎
👤︎ u/jalfredproofrock
📅︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the duck say to the cashier when he bought a tube of lipstick?

Can you put it on my bill?

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/doclsd
📅︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the name of a nurse who inserts plastic tubes into people?

Catherine.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/2donutkid2
📅︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend for a tube of toothpaste. He gave me the smallest tube I’ve ever seen.

Next time, I’ll ask for teethpaste.

👍︎ 15
💬︎
👤︎ u/j_jolly_04
📅︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London tube

He went from barking to tooting in 15 minutes

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/K00lguy720
📅︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A duck walked into a drugstore to buy a tube of chapstick. he told the cashier:

"just put it on my bill"

👍︎ 24
💬︎
👤︎ u/CryingAsparagus
📅︎ Aug 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Isn't the tube that carries sperm from the testicle essentially doing pretty much the same job as the testicle itself?

Nope. There's a vas deferens.

(For those who skipped HS Biology - NSFW)

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/ddesla2
📅︎ May 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad joke solidarity on the tube today

A boy and girl (about 14/15) were arguing about what trains they should take to get to their destination. Although friendly the argument got pretty loud and their other friend (boy, same age) says:

"Hey, no need to go off the rails....geddit?"

He looked really pleased with himself they didn't even laugh.

As I got off I looked at him, nodded and said "Nice" and he said "Thank you".

I forgot to mention that his girl friend might be pregnant.

👍︎ 11
💬︎
👤︎ u/AnathemaFan
📅︎ Apr 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Coffee went down the wrong tube at breakfast.

Hey dad are you alright?

Yeah, but that sure was some strong cough-ee!

DAD!!!

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/germsburn
📅︎ Jul 11 2015
🚨︎ report
Got my friend on the tube

Him: "Should we take this way out or that way out?"

Me: "That way out looks way out"

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/USCgamecocks
📅︎ Mar 02 2015
🚨︎ report
Overheard a family group on the tube...

...wife mentions getting off at Barking. "That's where all the dogs live." Goes completely over his young kids head, wife gives him the 'you're an idiot' stare.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/WhatIsThePint
📅︎ Oct 05 2014
🚨︎ report
What did the tire say to the inner tube?

I got you covered my totally tubular friend.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/musicmanjams
📅︎ Mar 04 2014
🚨︎ report
Women really know how to hold grudges over the smallest things. My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue.

It's been a week now and she's still not talking to me.

👍︎ 21
💬︎
👤︎ u/simplyGagi
📅︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Women really know how to hold a grudge over the simpelest things. My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue

It's been a week and she's still not talking to me

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/Obsidi3
📅︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.