The Tangent Puns

I said: Hey, man, whats your angle?!

Because the tangent likes the opposite over the adjacent

But honestly, I don't think it holds any water.

My best friend lives on the East Coast. I’m on the West. He often streams his games over Skype so I can hang out and watch. He was playing the Witcher 3, and fighting the water monster men. I said “They just want to know the shape of you,” and he coincidentally died at that moment.

He got really, really mad. I always knew my puns annoyed him a little, but when I was sad, he’d tell dumb puns he’d google to cheer me up. But he just went into a tangent on how much puns annoy him and how he doesn’t get that I keep doing them over and over again every day whenever I talk with him. Trying to stop or cut back on puns would be pretty difficult and make me sad; I love witty wordplay and commentary, and bottling it up feels awful. But apparently it really, really annoys him.

What should I do?

Tangent asked papa Cos if Sine could come to his Opposite Day party, Cos thought about it but in the end he replied with: “No of Cosecant”

Me, Dad, holding Mom's calculator while furiously mashing the [ tan( ] button

Me: tan tan tan tan tan tan--

Mom: What the fuck are you doing?

Me: Sorry, I kinda went off on a tangent there...

So my dad and I are talking one night during dinner and I let slip that my nickname in school is tangent. Then the following ensues Dad : Oh really? Well do you know who Satan's cousin is? Me : No. Dad : SaCOSINE! Me : Wait.... NOOOOO DAD NO.

He continued laughing hysterically for a good 10 minutes after.

Well played dad. Well played.

The professor was discussing anatomy of the gastrointestinal tract, specifically the mouth/neck.

"The esophagus is about 10-11 inches long. If it were 12 we'd call it a foot."

Then he went off on a tangent about his friend in college who could stick a hot dog all the way down his throat. School is weird.

Both my co-worker and I are artists, we tend to spend our lunches talking about painting and classes.

Yesterday we got on the subject of Painting Elephant Galleries (it's a thing people!) when another co-worker appeared to get bored of our conversation and tried to change the subject;

His response was to quickly follow up her tangent with "Well, that's completely Irrelephant"

In class, my teacher went off on a tangent and started to explain the history of film.

Teacher: there was a point when there was a job where some one would be cranking a machine for 20 minutes to display the film can.

Student: Wow, spinning a crank for 20 minutes?? Are you for reel?

Teacher: Oh yes it was a chore.....ohhhh (groans)

I recently subscribed to this sub and it's my new favorite. I shamelessly stole the "tan line" joke for Facebook and a nerd volley with another dad ensued quickly.

Me: Wow, this warmer weather is getting me ready for spring. Hey, I'm already getting ready for summer, check out my tan line! <graph of tangent>

Him: It's certainly not a farmer's tan line...not straight enough.

Me: No farmer's life for me. It's not something I'd sine up for.

Him: ...and I wouldn't cosine your startup loan. (groan)

Me: Sheesh, there's no reason to be hyperbolic.

Him: I really must learn how to integrate all your math vocabulary into my daily life.

Me: You'd really have to think of some way to differentiate yours from mine.

Him: heh...maybe after I move to the delta and crawl under a natural log. I'm sorry, it just struck me that I'm acting the total asymptote.

Me: Ugh. The average of the posts in this thread is degenerating.

Him: We've traversed a slippery slope and while I don't mean to be mean we've gone way past the apex of this thread.

My wife: Nerds.

Me: You married me.

Mum: Llamamessiah quote of the day "if maths was tangible I'd punch it in the face"

Dad: Maybe should've said tangental