A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
According to my sewing instructor, I'm easily the worst student she's ever had.
Oops... sorry, wrong thread !
I was part of a class and i total , we were 100 students. I walked up to the front of the class , and wrote :"balloons" on the white board. So...
The other 99 read balloons.
Why did the student take her math homework to gym class?
She wanted to work out her problems
Can I claim an Eastern European exchange student as a dependent to reduce my income below the phaseout threshold?
I’m hoping to get a stimulus Czech.
I'm a teacher and every day I write a Dad Joke from this sub on the board. Today a student said this to me... I was about to go off... before I got the Dad Joke.
Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"
Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*
Me: "Well played."
Why did the student get a pear before his test?
He wanted to make sure he was pre-pear-ed!
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it’s a piece of cake!
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren’t very supportive. They kept telling him to “Get with the times...
A nominee for director of the math department at my school was caught having an affair with her student...
Some students needed help calculating the number of food and drinks they'd need for a party. Their teacher responds...
"What's the equation? (occasion)"
What did the student say after visiting the Thomas Edison Museum?
I enjoyed being enlightened
Teacher asked “What is the formula of water?” Student said “H I J K L M N O” teacher said “that’s not the formula of water”
Student said “you said the formula was H to O”.
Student: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: It’s may.
Student: No, it’s January
A taekwondo student walks up to the seller in a doughnut store. What did the seller say?
I asked my French exchange student if he went to the bathroom before we got into the car
Why did the Oklahoma student keep rushing everything?
Why did the architecture student get points off on his blueprint of a Soviet house?
Unnecessary Marx and Engels.
What did the student do after smoking weed ?
Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
The teacher told him not to use tables
Why did the Eastern European student fail his test?
He was Russian to get it done
(Eastern euro joke 2/7)
What did the socially distanced yoga instructor say to her students
Nama stay six feet apart from people
During my time as a PhD student I used to draw stupid puns on the whiteboard. This is one of my favourites.
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.
I was the top student in my class until my teacher gave me very low marks.
A nun is teaching her students about the circle of life
"there are either predators or prey in the circle of life" explained the nun. "whatever an animal eats, it is called that animal's prey. for instance, rabbits eat lettuce - thus lettuce is rabbit prey."
"Sister, what is sunlight then?" asked a quizzical child.
smiling, the nun put her hands together and said, "lettuce prey".
"Can I have a glass of water?" asked the young student.
The teacher placed her hands on her hips, glaring at him, and said "May I!".
The kid smiles. "I was gonna get it myself, but sure, that'd be great!".
What did the student say to the geography teacher
The teacher asked the student about the progress on the Microsoft Office course.
The student responded: 'thank you for asking, i'm doing excellent.'
What excuse did the student use to get away with skipping their zoom lecture?
"My dog ate my computer."
The sweaters they gave to the photography students at my schoo
Why did the student not learn anything at Sandpaper Class?
The class had just scratched the surface!
Why did the teacher explode when he was corrected by one of his students?
Because he was undermined
Why was the spiritual teacher upset at his students?
A geography teaches picks two students, one an exchange student from Japan and the other a native, to answer a question about state capitals. “What is the capital of Ohio?”, the teacher asks.
The native student answers “Cleveland”, much to the teacher’s chagrin. The Exchange student on the other hand, answers “It’s a bit late, but Gozaimasu!”
A student at prom was thirsty for some fruit punch, so he asked his friend, "where's the punch line?"
What did the blind teacher say the bad student?
"Great, now I have 3 useless pupils.”
I saw a student getting arrested by the police for plagiarism.
What did the professor say when his students wanted to hunt male deer before the first day of class?
"Don't get the hart before the course!"
A student decided not to copy anything written on the left side of the board.
I guess you could say he had a copyright strike.
My sewing instructor just told me that I’m the worst student she has ever seen.
My sewing instructor thinks I’m the worst student she has ever seen.
My professor makes all the students buy his book at the beginning of the term to make some profit.
What did the teacher do with the students report on the history of Cheese
To make extra money, my university professor makes all his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.
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