Toxic habits and attachments have been an issue for me for ages. During the last couple of months, if not years, I’ve felt stuck, unhappy and unfulfilled.My daily routines felt like single incredible energy draining burden that seemed to be a pointless endeavour anyway. As a result, I did what I assume most people do. I (unconsciously) distracted and numbed myself with all kinds of short term pleasures (alcohol, food, parties, you name it).To summarise, I was in a really bad state, both mentally and physically as well.A couple of weeks ago, during a moment of insight (some would call it a break up) , I had enough of my own pathetic behavior and decided to change.It was about the same time that a friend of mine recommended a book to me and I finally managed to change for the good. (The book is linked down below).Anyway, on the way, I’ve learned the following things from the book and a fair amount of self reflection.
1) Missing Structure/Routines:
Leading experts and psychologists like Jordan Peterson, Jonathan Haidt and many others are convinced that healthy routines are what keeps you sane. Jakob (The Author) also demonstrated the power of routines on an impressive story out of his life.After reading about the importance of routines, I started to reflect on my personal situation:Except for my job, I had no structure or routine in my life.I spent most of my evenings on the couch, eating fast food.Eventually, I’d pass out in front of the TV well after midnight. The next morning, I would wake up late, quickly gulping down my coffee, hurring to the subway station while quickly finishing the sandwich I got on the way. Needless to say that I felt terrible.
In addition to that, my weekends were spent mostly either drinking/partying or recovering from the week and binge eating sessions on the couch. In hindsight, i don’t know how I was able to sustain myself.
2) Unconscious & Insecure - The Inner Perspective:
I had so many false illusions about myself as a person. I completely lived in my illusions and artificially crafted limitations without even being aware of them.I was a prisoner of my own perceptions and limitations.Furthermore, I learned, as simple as it sounds, to listen to myself. I realised that a big part of most problems was the lost connection to myself or rather my unconsciousness.I simply lost touch with my true self and my real desires and therefore, had zero energy/motivation to change.
**3) Responsibility - The Outer Perspectiv
... keep reading on reddit ➡My sister has aspergers and had a very scary "episode" over the weekend. It is the first time this has ever happened. She threatened her best friend and her friends family. She said mean things and scared them to death. She called the cops and made up a story on the phone for them to get there fast.
The next day she was immediately remorseful and embarrassed. She says she always hurts people around her (aspergers) but doesn't mean to. She is rude, but doesn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. We all know that and obviously learned to deal with it. But this weekend was very different. She scared herself so much that she is know at a hospital with my mom.
I know Trisha Paytas and immediately thought of her when I heard it. Trisha was talking about dissociative identity disorder or "multiple personality disorder". I don't think that my sisters has multiple personalities but I do think that she shifted to this other personality (very mean, very aggressive, very scary) over the weekend. Another thing that matches Trisha's disorder is that she doesn't remember, and immediately feels bad afterwards.
I did some research and found out that dissociative identity disorder is a coping mechanism to deal with some sort of trauma. I don't know of any specific trauma my sister went through but I know that my dad read her diary at some point and that she got in major trouble. But I never knew the details.
Just trying to make sense of what happened. She did not take any drugs. She drank some alcohol when it happened but not more than usual. The "switch" came very suddenly and not gradually. She took a drug test yesterday just in case and will get the results Wednesday. She feels terrible and is a wreck.
You will always know how much time remains before the explosion
If you die or get kicked in the balls the timer stops
The timer decreases by 20 seconds every time you press your right nipple
You also emit an ominous beeping sound
I’m so tired of destroying my health and living in a constant mental fog. Alcohol lets you run away from life instead of facing it and solving actual things that need to be addressed.
It’s not worth it. Everyone here with very few exceptions knows it isn’t worth it. Yet all it takes it that moment of weakness, when the alcohol demon whispers in your ear, to do something you know you shouldn’t.
You deserve better, be strong, be vigilant.
People seem to think that there are only a few truly bad people in the world, and if we can just get them out of power we can change the future, but in reality most human beings are just garbage and they are incapable of making or accepting the changes that are needed to avoid the catastrophe that the 'bad' people are bringing to fruition. People have always been garbage, and they always will be garbage. Replacing garbage with garbage is not the answer and it will never be. Only a handful of truly good people have ever really existed, and most of them end up getting a government issued suicide or were blatantly murdered/silenced.
There is nothing that can stop the cycle of destruction and greed that us humans have found ourselves being a part of. No amount of voting, no amount of protesting, no amount of boycotting or campaigning will ever, ever be able to undo the damage and brainwashing that has been done to our species and planet.
When our end finally comes, it will be well deserved and I for one would be thrilled to witness it. Total destruction of our civilization is the only way to escape this endless cycle of bullshit that we have been participating in for ten thousand years.
I'm not mad or upset about this... It just is what it is and I have accepted it. Our time is limited and there is absolutely no reason to get caught up in politics or the like to try to make the world a better place. Just take it for face value, be thankful for what you have, and be happy that today isn't the day it all comes crashing down.
Apologies if this has been asked before; why was Whiterose allowing Elliot to continue?
She kept mentioning his potential and value but if someones entire mission is to bring you down, their value and potential is moot.
Both of her employees continuously warned her about Elliot and she ignored them. Sure she got him to do the shipment hack but after that his role was finished in her plans.
Did I miss something?
You can listen to this album here:
https://theproudestmonkeys.bandcamp.com/
I wrote every song and performed every single part that you hear on the album. I think that this was really good experience for me, but I also feel that I really sold the material short by doing this all by myself. I think that I missed out on capturing that magic that comes from the process and camaraderie of working on music with other people, and that it can be felt in the final product. Initially, I thought that people would be impressed that I had the wherewithal to do this whole thing by myself (with the help of the phenomenal engineer Aaron Rauber), but to be honest, it seems to have held the music back if anything.
Additionally, I think that my drive to do this album in this way was almost entirely based in ego and spite, rather than artistic merit and creativity. I wanted to show the people that I had previously been working with that I didn't need them and I could do anything they were doing bigger, better, and alone.
As I move forward with my next musical project, I want to take the lessons I learned from making this album and put them to good use. I would LOVE if you would take some time to give it a listen, and tell me what you like, what you don't like, where I went wrong, and what I did well.
Please be as honest and critical as you can muster! I really genuinely want to grow.
Much love everyone!
MUA has become so fragmented. I personally think there are far too many people moving to niche makeup subs. Off the top of my head I can name r/indiemakeupandmore, r/brownbeauty, r/palemua, r/beautydiagrams, r/makeupaddicts, r/sugarfreemua, and r/asianbeauty. I constantly see suggestions for more single topic based subreddits...and I am posting on one right now! (Not that these subs are bad or wrong, I just wish the good content they have would be posted and welcome on MUA.) Maybe the reason there are so many selfies and so little discussion is because people are posting to alternate subreddits. This is not even to mention the rising tension due to the enormous amounts of subreddit drama (which I don't feel the need to go into depth about). It seems like MUA is slowly getting weaker and more tense. It's only a matter of time before something happens that destroys the sub completely (like what happened with r/grilledcheese, which if you look at my post history, you will see I take half the responsibility for). I really hope my speculation is false, but it seems like the end of MUA is awfully near...
I found this song called How Could You Leave Us by NF. Most of you might know it but for those who don’t it really shows us where we’re all heading if we don’t stop living this destructive lifestyle we’re living. He talks about his mom that died from prescription pills and how she chose them over her kids. I’ve always been afraid that I won’t be a good dad but I can’t imagine choosing pills over my kids. It scares the hell outta me that it could happen and on top of that taking my own life even accidentally and leaving them without a dad. And not even being there when they have kids. It makes it even worse if something were to happen to me when my kids are still young and then their mom has to explain why dad isn’t around. This song just really gives me a real kick in the ass to stay off of this shit. I’ve just started trying to quit again because I had a weak moment where I relapsed right after my uncle died. For anyone struggling to find a reason to stay clean give this song a listen and I bet it’ll change your whole outlook on trying to quit.
