I love watching programmes about lakes and rivers on the Internet. Anything
Anything water related really...
I'm actually watching a live stream right now.
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︎ Mar 26 2022
What did the river say when a family of beavers decided to move in?
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︎ Mar 13 2022
What do you call the longest side of a large endangered mammal at ease both on land and in rivers?
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︎ Apr 08 2022
What's brown, sweet, and swims in the river?
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︎ Mar 20 2022
I wanted to tell my children a story about a ship that brings cars from one side of the river to the other
But then I noticed that they're too old for ferry tales.
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︎ Feb 05 2022
What did Putin say to the Ukranians after he annexed their river?
Crimea river
P.S. I understand this is a tough topic atm, and I am praying for all those in Ukraine, just thought this was a funny word play.
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︎ Feb 27 2022
What does a river hate the most?
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︎ Feb 18 2022
Putin just landed in the river in France
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︎ Mar 18 2022
Sometimes when I take my money out at a bank, I walk outside and throw it in the river
I like watching my cash flow.
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︎ Feb 01 2022
What did the farmer say when the river flooded his farm?
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︎ Feb 01 2022
Was in Paris the other day when a screaming naked guy barged past me and jumped into the river.
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︎ Feb 03 2022
I saw Cat Stevensβ boat floating uncontrolled down the river
Apparently his mooring had broken.
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︎ Jan 23 2022
He finally saw someone on the opposite bank and shouted, "how do I get to the other side of the river?"
"You are on the other side of the river!"
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︎ Dec 28 2021
I saw Kurt Cobainβs wife fishing by the river. βCourtney Love?β I asked
βNot yetβ She replied.
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︎ Jan 11 2022
I saw a news story that a truck hauling pigment collided with a tour bus on bridge and both fell into the riverβ¦
Thankfully no lives were lost but everyone dyed.
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︎ Nov 06 2021
Why does the St. Johns River in Florida flow north?
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︎ Oct 01 2021
Thousands of years ago The River 'Nile' was a...
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︎ Sep 06 2021
Two scientists are sitting by the river, researching to solve a difficult problem
They go through countless papers to no avail, until finally one of them finds one that holds the information they seek.
"I think this one might contain the answers we need!" the first scientist says
He reads the abstract, it's on point
He goes through the main body of the text, and finds it extraordinarily enlightening
But before he gets to the end, a gust of wind blows the last few pages over the river.
"Oh no, I really wanted to read their summary" he says.
The other scientist goes: "The river is broad, surely I can hop over it"
"I think that's a bad idea" the first scientist says
"Why?" asks the second scientist
"Well, we were always taught that we should not jump to conclusions"
Edit: changed a word
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︎ Oct 07 2021
Paris Police have charged a local man with unrinating into the river for over 5 minutes non-stop...
...he now has a European Record.
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︎ Oct 07 2021
Did you hear about the river with a walking pathway over it?
Apparently, it's water under the bridge now.
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︎ Nov 24 2021
My dermatologist who lives in the small community across the river, has for a long time been happily sharing driving and riding the underwater channel to work with other downtown professionals.
Recently, however due to other driver irresponsibility, he has suffered a car pool tunnel syndrome.
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︎ Oct 23 2021
What did the river say when it saw a beaver
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︎ Aug 04 2021
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
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︎ Jun 05 2021
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Why is there a queue of barefoot men at the river Styx?
They can't permit anyone to board without souls.
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︎ Jul 20 2021
I work at a marina at the top of a river and my boss just bought a new boat, should be delivered today.
It's just what the dock ordered.
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︎ Aug 03 2021
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
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︎ Aug 30 2020
What did Hoover say when he saw the Colorado River?
Dam it
(or, alternatively)
What did the Colorado River say when it saw Hoover?
I'll be dammed.
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︎ Jul 03 2021
I can't remember the name of this African river in front of me.
I must be going see Nile.
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︎ Feb 11 2021
What did the river-tourist call his mom to say while he was in Africa?
"mom, I can't believe it; I'm in de-nile!"
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︎ May 12 2021
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
What did the kid say when he saw a gigantic concrete structure block a river for the first time?
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︎ Mar 06 2021
What did Bones say to Captain Kirk at the river crossing?
Dam it, Jim
(Be gentle itβs my cake day)
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︎ Jul 25 2020
Whats the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
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︎ Oct 08 2020
What did the river sue for?
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︎ Jan 10 2021
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized...
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︎ Oct 02 2020
My friend said that its impossible for a river to move through the desert.
I told him he was in deNile.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Why panning the river in my brain, this lil' gold nugget came to me.
What do you call a Dinosaur that knows everything?
A herd-it-before!
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︎ Sep 22 2020
TIL: If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head.
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︎ Jul 07 2019
A man on one side of a river shouts to a man standing on the other side, βHey, how do I get to the other side of the river?β
The other man responds, βYou are on the other side of the river.β
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︎ Nov 03 2016
Beware of crocs in the river
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︎ Feb 02 2020
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
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︎ Jun 23 2020
Why did the chicken cross the river
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︎ Oct 18 2020
If you willingly jump in the river in Paris,
you must be in-Seine!
(Just thought of this the other day and forgot to post it before. Hope it hasnβt been done before.)
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︎ Sep 17 2020
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