The Rink Puns

Initialicing

Scottie Slippen

I thought, “Wow, what a cheapskate!”

Cheap skates

"It was our way of breaking the ice."

One brings people to justice, whilst the other brings people to just ice.

Entry was half price.

She called me a cheap skate.

Makes me feel like such a cheapskate

Wait, never mind. He got cold feet

So they get their parkas and snow boots, fishing rods and ice auger, and everything else they need, and go out to find a good spot.

Just as they start to drill a hole in the ice, they hear a great booming voice from above: "There are no fish here!"

"What was that?"

"It sounded like the voice of God!"

"Well let's try somewhere else."

They move away a bit, and settle down to try again. But before they can even start to drill, they hear it again:

"There are no fish here!"

So they pack up and move even farther down the ice. Surely this will be a good spot. But just as they pull out the auger, the voice booms out again:

"Listen you guys, I'm the manager of this ice rink, and I'm telling you there are no fish here!"

Went to the outdoor ice rink yesterday with my wife and son. Ran into our friend Rosy and her kids who were just leaving. Rosy said they had fun but were cold now so had to leave. I responded “yea you look cold. Your cheeks are...........rosy” cue my wife’s loud groan.

Got on to the subject of ice skating after dinner, when my granddad told us that "you can have nasty accidents at ice rinks... Me and your grandma first met at one"

An ice fisherman hauls his gear across the ice to his fishing spot. He puts his gear down and begins to cut his hole into the ice. A few seconds after he begins, he is startled by a booming, ominous voice;

"DO NOT CUT A HOLE IN THE ICE."

He shrugs it off and decides he is clearly hearing things, so he resumes cutting his hole into the ice. A few seconds later, again;

"DO NOT CUT A HOLE IN THE ICE."

Clearly he isn't hearing things and begins to feel a bit scared. He still needs to feed his family however, and so resumes his cutting. A third time he hears the voice;

"DO NOT CUT A HOLE IN THE ICE."

This time he puts down his saw, looks to the sky and asks, "God? Is that you?"

"THIS IS THE ICE RINK MANAGER. DO NOT CUT A HOLE IN THE ICE!"