Why did the pacifist refuse to join the orchestra?
The guy at the hardware store tried to sell me a 500 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.
Attila the Hun had a pet snake who refused to eat.
He tried everything: rodents, small animals, and even cuts from larger animals, but it wouldn't eat.
As a last resort, he offered a virgin, but still the snake wouldn't eat. So, he called up the village's wise man.
Without hesitation, the wise man put two pieces of bread on the woman, and the snake ate her whole.
When Attila asked why, the wise man responded,
"Thine anaconda don't want nun unless you've got buns, hun!"
When the Wright Brothers were arrested for trespassing at Kitty Hawk, the judge refused to grant them bail...
...he considered them a flight risk.
Why did a father who's son was just born today refused a marriage proposal of a father who's daughter was born just the previous day?
He didn't want his son marrying a girl twice his age.
Did you hear about the workaholic cop who got handcuffed by his colleagues because he refused to take a lunch break?
Why did the Jewish pilot refuse to land at the airport?
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Why did the anarchist refuse to go to the urologist?
Because he refuse to be a part of anything prostate.
Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.
That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.
When my son refused to take a nap, the police got involved!
Understandable, since he was resisting a rest!
Did you hear that they're replacing two letters of the alphabet? Instead of T, you have to say "Clowns". Instead of V, you need to say "Jokers". I refuse to use them, but I was singing the alphabet when they changed them, so I have a problem...
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with U.
Did you hear about the woman who refused to get her female cat spayed?
She was arrested for littering.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Why did the Sushi chef refuse to serve the musician?
Why did the drowning Pharoah refuse to ask for help?
Why did the LGBTQ pilot refuse to fly 747s?
He said he prefers bi-planes
A man brought his trike to a 4 Wheeler convention but was refused at the door for not following the dress code.
They told him that he was missing attire
Why did the Pharaoh refuse to believe his son had drowned?
Because he was in The Nile
Cardi B’s sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly
They refused to hire the boat assassin to be the face of the company
They had a feeling he'd be a sails killer
What did the chicken say to the Lobster who refused to wear a face mask?
I refuse to vote for anyone in the dried fruit competition.
There aren't any good candied-dates.
Apparently there’s a group down the street that’s amazing at grabbing things, but they refuse to do it when I’m around.
They never seize to amaze me
Why did the bacteria refuse the invitation to the rodeo?
Why did the man refuse to jump out the window?
He didn't want to go through any pane.
Why did the yogi refuse anesthetic to have his tooth extracted?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
My Chinese friend refuses to believe that our friend Ty is now the state boxing champion.
The Chinese don’t want to recognize Ty won.
I went to get tornado insurance for my camp site, but the bank refused.
They said, “If your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”
There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.
To summarize:
He's never gonna give you Up
Never gonna lend you Down
Never gonna run around, and dessert you.
I started a garden and the basil is refusing to grow.
Did you hear about the three year old arrested for refusing to take a nap?
Why did Bernie Sanders refuse to return to the Senate after the primaries?
He wanted to practice socialist distancing
If a child is refusing to take their nap or go to bed... can I call the cops on them?
Technically they are resisting a rest!
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
To keep the virus away, I'm taking forever to open the door, refusing to change the temperature and only playing games in single player mode.
In other words, I'm doing everything I can to be a bad host.
Why did the military general refuse to use social media?
It was his personal creed to never surrender or retweet.
The Emperor of Gorgasol refused to appoint his daughter as his heir.
Needless to say, she was not empressed.
Did you guys hear about the Buddhist monk who refused anesthesia during his root canal?
Apparently he wanted to transcend dental medication.
The Police Showed Up When My Son Refused to Take a Nap
They charged him with resisting a rest.
The hardware store guy offered to sell me a 50 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.
I tried to get insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.
They said, “If your tent gets destroyed, you won’t be covered.”
did you hear about the buddhist who refused novocain during a root-canal?
he wanted to transcend dental medication.
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