The Portrait Puns

Because he got a head of himself.

She seamed surprised.

“What’s all this for?” he asked...

“Well” I replied, “I’ve heard that if you give a man enough rope, he will hang himself”.

He scrunched his face up.

Im a photographer and was telling her about an assignment to photograph a woman and her early 20th century car and that the woman would be wearing authentic era clothing for the portrait.

Me: And she'll be wearing period appropriate clothing. Girlfriend: So she'll be wearing sweatpants?

When my Mum and her sisters were younger, in an attempt to keep them quiet for half an hour, he told them to sit down next to each other so he could do their portrait. Every now and again he would stop, look up and to ensure he had the correct scale, held out his thumb and squinted a little, then continued.

After half an hour they got restless and said "Are you done yet, let's see".

He turned the drawing pad around to show...a simple sketch of a thumb.

Not a Dad yet, but thankful to have this trick up my sleeve for when I am.

My fiancée is building some custom frames for her capstone project. She's is going for a baroque theme and is planning on using them with some portrait shots she's taken over the past semester. They're primed white right now, but she's planning on painting them gold.

Me: "she's gonna paint them gold later."

Mom: "aww but I like the white!"

Me: "yeah but she's going for a baroque theme and that fits better I guess."

Dad: "well, if it ain't baroque don't fix it..."

So. Many. Groans.