That's Irsay.
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
It was his vinyl resting place
So I'm normally an electrician by trade, but work has been slow lately, so I've been helping one of his friends with some of the concrete work in a small housing development close to the shop. Well he came out and started talking to me about what I've gotten done since this morning, I told him and he goes "This is getting you great electrical experience!" I kinda laugh and reply back "Yeah, I'm learning all about grounding." He turned and walked away, but I about died laughing.
He said 'sure, which way did you come in'
Adoorbell.
He ran a pretty intense schmear campaign
"Don’t wok away from me!"
I agreed and wired him the money. What’s the wurst that could happen?
Hey!! GET BACK HERE!!! You need toupeé for that!!
He handed me thirteen and said "last one is a freebie"
That Hertz.
He urned it.
...”That one is a freebie!”
Ironic.
Dog: They’re lying, I don’t even have a bicycle! 🐕 🚲
He has some twix up his sleeve
His viewing is at 11:00, 1:30, 3:00, 5:00, 7:00, and 9:00
"I'd like to buy a steak in this restaurant"
My goldfish died!
Unfortunately we had to fold.
“Two more”
the name of reddit would be "Reddit player one"
So he put in a Rush order!
The head poncho.
He can talk the talk, but can he guac the guac?
...it was purr-chased
Who’s a good boy
“Welcome to my humble a-boat.”
One is a raving showman, and the other is a shaving Roman.
They were tired of working naan stop and needed to tikka break.
I guess you could say they took offense.
They called it their Pawed Cast.
For centuries, we've used our shop as a means of teaching the youngest of our lineage the importance of teamwork, the value of a dollar and, most importantly, the self-satisfaction felt in a job well-done.
In the past few weeks, it's been repeatedly brought to my attention that our youngest child, Sheeran, has been demonstrating particularly helpful and productive tendencies so, today, I felt it was finally time to experience the honor of rewarding his efforts, offering him the opportunity to join our workforce; to which he was nothing short of ecstatic!
I'll be honest, I initially withheld concerns that his excitement would subside once I explained the sorts of menial work I'd have to start him off on but, to my relief, he took no issue in hearing that his duties would mostly revolve around wiping our patrons' hair off of the chairs, and sweeping it up from the floor.
Sharing a moment of beautiful silence, exchanging our most heartfelt of smiles and basking in this pivotal moment of his development, I placed my hand on his shoulder and said, "Son...
You are really going to have your work cut out for you."
My dad- "You had no business signing up for that."
To some Android owners it’s their galaxy
To get his balls deflated.
