My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
That steam roller operator said the nicest thing to me as he ran me over...
I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor and as I got out, the operator said, “Have a good day, son.” I replied, “Don’t call me son, you’re not my dad.” He scratched his head and said...
“No, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”
I asked the operator to cauliflower...
She laughed so hard she hit the floret!
What did the forklift operator do with the worker's whiskey?
What happened when the bulldozer operator became a dad?
He razed his children well.
The operator on the phone line told me she was standing by for more info...
I told her that she could sit if she wanted to.
Why did the drill operator quit his job?
He said there was too much boring business involved.
Kid: why was the first woman NYC Subway operator such a success?
Dad: well, it's obvious - she was well trained
The norweigan radar operator reported seeing some
birds on screen
The elevator operator at work got me today.
I'm a construction worker in NYC. At my current job site we're working on a new super tall building, the second tallest in the city. Attached to the building is a temporary construction elevator for moving people and materials up to the upper floors.
So I get in the elevator and it's only me and the operator. We chit chat for the ride up and I ask "So what's it like being an elevator operator for this building?"
He replies "Oh you know, it has its ups and downs"
In hindsight I think I walked right into that one.
What did the pancake say to the elevator operator?
Sir! Up, please.
(I use this one every time we have pancakes for breakfast. EVERY TIME.)
When I woke up from an operation, the nurse leaned over and said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
“Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”
“Yes, of course…”
“Great! I never could before!”
My buddy Jerry had to get taken to the hospital, unfortunately it looked like he needed to be operated on. He was unconscious and when he came to, he asked “what’s going to happen, am I going to be alright?”
What mathematical operation do the French despise?
After the Sex change operation, The Juggler is too scared to try juggling again.
It seems he doesn’t have the balls to do it again.
I couldn't decide on which side of the road I wanted to use my loom. On the northbound side the southbound side looked better. And upon crossing to the southbound side, the northbound side looked better. The cops soon arrested me for operating under the influence.
They said I was weaving all over the road.
Trying to figure out the reason why I have such difficulty with operating my doorbell.
I just can’t put my finger on it.
Don't worry, I'm fine after the sex operation
My dog is angry because he can’t operate the MRI machine....
The First Bank of Magic Only Needs Two Things to Operate it's Banks:
This remote at my gfs operates the lights and fans. Its very fan-see if you ask me.
Before my operation last week, the nurse wanted to know if I could give them a contact number in case of an emergency...
Before my operation, my doctor gave me the option to be knocked out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
What do you tell the doctor before an operation?
Did you hear about the midgets starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery!
That was a small joke I just made up. Hopefully it will humor you, a little.
I feel bad for the guy laughing in the operating room
He is in stitches as we speak.
After this operation will I be able to play the piano
Yes
Good because I couldn’t do it before
My doctor says I need an operation, but I can't afford it. I asked the doctor if it was something I could do on my own.
The lake by my house was overpopulated with river otters that would bite and harass people. The local gov used explosives to fix the problem. They called it operation otter pop
What did the Allies call the operation to depose Mussolini?
My German IT guy won't let me run the Microsoft Disk Operating System on my computer.
Mathematicians were the first doctors.
They were the first to perform operations on problems.
The kids want to play Operation but I can't bring myself to tell them that the game is missing a piece
I just don't have the heart
How do surgeons do chest operations without breaking the rib cage?
My Mom has no problem talking about his recent the sex-change operation.
He's quite TransParent about it.
The movie's plot was showing average day-to-day operations of the pizza shop
A rare glimpse of a slice of life
A man goes into surgery to get his Appendix removed.
Unfortunately, the doctor cut a little too deep and the man's organs began to spill out onto the operating table....
...
...
"Well, it looks you have a table of contents now" says the medical assistant.
Have you been to the cafe that's owned and operated by T-Rexes?
The food is good but the service is slow. They're always short handed.
Italian restaurants
Two Italian restaurants operated on the same street. The other chef was certain that the other one had stolen his recipes so he payed a visit at his competitor’s restaurant.
He got served with nice plate of spaghetti and the waitress said: “This full pl8, I’m sure you can appreci8. It’s so gr8. Now just dig in don’t hesit8, I sure you don’t want to w8”.
The chef looked at the waitress and asked: “Is that a copypasta?”
Even though he extremely skeptical, the hunchback’s wife finally convinced him to see a surgeon to straighten his spine. When the operation was done, he came home and told his wife:
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
I was in an elevator and got out at the 10th floor.
The operator said ‘Have a nice day son’. ‘Don’t call me son’ I said. ‘You’re not my dad’
The operator scratched his head and said ‘No, but I brought you up didn’t I?’
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