My son has recently taken up an interest in music. We're constantly going back and forth trying to stump the other with trivia. He thought he had me when he chorused, "Hey, dad, what genre are national anthems?!" I laughed, "That's easy!"
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︎ Mar 28 2021
My love for my wife is like the national debt.
It's enormous. It seems likes it's been around forever. It is growing every day. It's something that will be passed onto our children and grandchildren.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
My friend the pirate was a national boxing champion.
He had a deadly right hook.
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︎ Mar 01 2021
Have you seen the car crash at the national association for blind people?
Witnesses claim they didn't see it coming
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︎ Dec 05 2020
This tasty plant wasn't just a big dill, it was the National Anethum
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︎ Nov 04 2020
What does the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases say when he stubs his toe?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
The president of the National Referees Association has been arrested for corruption.
Investigators haven't released the name of the whistle-blower.
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︎ Nov 01 2020
What is the national dish of Sweden?
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︎ Sep 17 2020
A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of Americaβs national bird.
His actions were highly ill-eagle
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︎ Sep 23 2020
Did you know, the national arcade game of Mexico is...
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︎ Oct 10 2020
The national coin shortage is a problem that we can solve if we all...
Be the change that we wanna see.
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︎ Sep 09 2020
News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...
To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.
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︎ Aug 03 2020
We went to a national park yesterday and they told us at the gate that there's no drug or alcohol in the park
I told them that it was ok, we brought our own.
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︎ Jun 17 2020
When you are in charge of the twitter account during national battery day
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︎ Feb 18 2020
Why is Beethoven's 5th Symphony the Martian national anthem?
Dome Dome Dome DOME, Dome Dome Dome DOME...
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︎ May 30 2020
I suggested to the national park service we release clay pigeons back into the wild.
That idea was immediately shot down
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︎ Dec 30 2019
The national Origami Championship is on television tonight.
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︎ Dec 29 2019
The National Center for Disease Control just downgraded the coronavirus.
They say itβs a corona lite virus now.
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︎ Feb 07 2020
I know a really great joke about the Army Reserve and National Guard...
But it only works one weekend out of the month.
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︎ Feb 04 2020
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
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︎ Oct 20 2019
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits...
He loves being in the limelight.
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︎ Nov 20 2019
Just been to the National Helium Museum.
I really can't speak highly enough of it!
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︎ Oct 16 2019
Did you hear about the Swedish national cross-country marathon?
The winner was the first to cross the Finnish line.
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︎ Sep 24 2019
My friend asked me my opinion on the National Debt...
I said it is big enough to take care of itself.
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︎ Sep 19 2019
What do you call tin foil hat graduates of the National Secret Honor Society?
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︎ Jul 29 2019
I played the Soviet National Anthem next to my window
Now there's an Iron Curtain that I can't tear down!
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︎ Sep 10 2019
Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo...
We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...
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︎ Nov 22 2018
When I was younger I wanted to be the national limbo champion
I can see now I set the bar too low for myself.
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︎ Jul 11 2019
I won first prize in the National Punctuation Society contest...
So they gave me a posh trophy.
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︎ Sep 17 2019
I'm a big fan of the national flag of Switzerland
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︎ Aug 22 2019
What do you call a guy who wonβt stand for the National Anthem?
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︎ Feb 28 2019
When I told my son about the National Parks Service alt twitter account he said...
"Tree-va la RΓ©sistance!"
It was one of my prouder parenting moments.
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︎ Jan 27 2017
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
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︎ Jan 02 2019
I was at a baseball game singing the National Anthem, when a friend leaned over and asked, "What are ramparts?"
I told him "oh you know... horns... hooves..."
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︎ Jun 13 2018
I tried to learn the national language of Finland
But I just couldn't Finnish.
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︎ Jun 22 2017
The National Security Agency has intercepted a series of credible threats against Santa.
They have asked for help from the Department of Ho Ho Homeland security.
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︎ Dec 03 2018
What's the national animal of Brazil?
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︎ Jan 09 2019
My relationship with the former US Women's National Soccer Team goalkeeper is coming to an end
I'm starting to lose Hope. I haven't felt Solo for a long time
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︎ Feb 16 2019
I heard that General Kellogg was going to be the new national security adviser.
I have to say, though: I'm disappointed they didn't go with General Mills.
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︎ Feb 14 2017
Dwayne Johnson took a tumble the other day, on National Hair Color day.
The headlines:
Rock Falls, Everyone Dyes.
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︎ Dec 13 2018
for the 4th of july, here's a little known america fact: did you know that as the national bird, thereβs a whole list of things that you canβt do to an eagle under federal law?
obviously you can't kill one, but you also can't relocate one from where it's living, cause an eagle nest to come to any harm, and the oddest part, as i'm not sure how they'd even track this, is there's even a bit in the law about infecting them with any communicable diseases?
but i suppose there's really no way around that being ill eagle
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︎ Jul 04 2018
I just donated $50 to the National Sarcasm Society
Their leader said, "like we need YOUR support."
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︎ Nov 12 2018
The store held blind taste tests of its brand against the national best seller.
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︎ Sep 14 2018
What's the national holiday of the Republic of Turkey?
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︎ Aug 05 2018
What I said when I heard that a 43-year-old seal just passed away at the National Zoo
livememe.com/i598na9
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︎ Nov 14 2016
What genre is the national anthem?
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︎ May 22 2020
Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo...
We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...
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︎ Mar 26 2018
Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo...
We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...
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︎ Jun 24 2018
It's against the law for the national bird of the US to be sick
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︎ Jun 29 2018
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